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Song and action man
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Do you think this is a good thing to strive for? I'd venture to say a lot of people on here wouldn't think so as people generally just aren't worth it.

But, I did have one good friend who led his life this way and he was more at peace with himself than anyone I knew.
 

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Do you think this is a good thing to strive for?
No. I think it's a good thing to do if that's what you want to do but that isn't really putting others before yourself. You're doing it because it pleases you so it's still selfish, right? So I don't know what I'd call it exactly but it's not really selfless.
 

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Banned
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Do you think this is a good thing to strive for? I'd venture to say a lot of people on here wouldn't think so as people generally just aren't worth it.

But, I did have one good friend who led his life this way and he was more at peace with himself than anyone I knew.
Yes
 

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♎ Mackinac Island Fanatic
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I think that, within reason (i. e., within that particular person's means), it's a great thing to strive for, and that society would be a much better thing if more people did so.

The very reason so many of us here are so miserable and are always complaining about how messed up society is is because of all the people who think only of themselves and never of how their actions affect others. Contributing to something that's broken and that causes us so much pain, becoming part of the problem, sounds like a fantastic idea, yeah. :/ (Sarcasm.) Why would I want to contribute to the negative, or even just sit back and do absolutely nothing, when I could contribute to the positive instead? I can't count the times I wish somebody would've reached out to help me, even if only to offer a kind word...and I always remember the times when people did.

No. I think it's a good thing to do if that's what you want to do but that isn't really putting others before yourself. You're doing it because it pleases you so it's still selfish, right? So I don't know what I'd call it exactly but it's not really selfless.
I realize this is a big (and rather pointless) part of the debate that comes up whenever altruism is mentioned around here, but in at least this thread, the OP didn't say anything about selflessness. :um Just "putting others before yourself," which could be done for numerous reasons, selfless or not. Even if it's done for the most selfish reason, if you put somebody else before yourself, you really HAVE put somebody else before yourself (except perhaps in your mind, but that sounds like nitpicking).

To add to the pointless debate anyway...so what if a motive might be inherently "selfish" in nature? "OMG, you did that just so you could feel good about yourself! Selfish person!" Does that really negate the goodness or happiness such an act might bring someone else? I don't see why people here look down on the "selfishness" of altruism when sitting back and doing nothing, or contributing to the negativity, are even MORE selfish things to do. The people who complain about how selfish altruists really are never have much to say about their own actions of ignoring or even ridiculing the suffering of others. That's...very strange.

(And for those who protest that nobody here ever ridicules the suffering of others, yeah, say that the next time a thread about how easy these people or those people have it, or how much "normies" should all suffer, etc., pops up on SAS...which should be as soon as today or tomorrow or the day after.)

If you don't want to do something altruistic, that's fine (not everyone is in a good/stable enough place to do so, anyway; many days I really HAVE to keep to myself--you can't help others that well when you can't even help yourself, I understand, thus my comment about "within reason" above)...but there's no reason to criticize or question the perceived motivations of those who choose differently. (Ugh, just take a look at the whole "You're nothing but a white knight!!" phenomenon on this site alone. It's a sadly foreign concept to many here that somebody might want to help or encourage another person just because.)

This'll bring me some hate, but sometimes I feel like a lot of people here just prefer to seek reasons/excuses to stay in their little bubbles--maybe out of bitterness about all the people who never helped them when they needed it--and not bother trying to bring a bit of happiness to the world when they actually have the chance/ability. :| Thus the cycle continues.

...Anyway I now expect a slew of people to either type out or at least think to themselves how naive and stupid I am, whatever. All I know is that, while it can be frustrating at times, in the long run it feels infinitely better when I try to help others, rather than when I just stay stuck alone and miserable in my own little bubble, wondering why nobody cares about me. :idea Why should anyone care about me if I don't care about them?
 

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Public Universal Enemy
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Yeah, if you can manage it without doing it for the wrong reasons and becoming bitter because of that.
 

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I have done it and in my experience, people start to use me. They always expect me to to do something for them and it becomes regular.

Then when I turn them down one time, it is always because I am being a moody *******.

They take it that I am showing them up and treating them like crap because I am not wiping their *** for them like I did a week ago.

It never works, no one ever appreciates you and it ends in a big fight and disaster.
 

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The point of my nitpick was simply to say that if you're doing it for yourself, that's fine. It just bothers me that such people won't admit that they're doing it for their own reasons and that they do it primarily because it makes them feel good about themselves. The point of this thread was obviously to insinuate that not doing so is selfish. Or at least it seems that way to me. The OP didn't exactly say what his exact beliefs were but he came close enough.

If it is a good thing to strive for, why?
 

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the last song ♥
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maybe he acted like he was at peace with himself but really wasn't.
 

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Chlorine and Wine
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I'd rather be more selfish. Then I wouldn't get used all the time. My very selfish sister gets whatever she wants and me, all I get is kicked in the balls. If I could learn to take instead of give, I would.

If other people can use this strategy to get ahead, why should I continue to handicap myself? For the sake of doing what's right? For the sake of my meager existence to not contribute to the crap that is life, the world as we know it?

There is always plenty of time for other people to pretend to care once they've taken what they wanted.
 

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castor sacs
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It seems I've made a complete turnaround. I used to be extremely generous and altruistic for now reason other than to make others feel special/cared for; now I could give less ****s about another person's concerns. I do still care for others, it's just that I'm focused on my own personal desires as the top priority. I want to find middleground. Perhaps, still venturing out of my way to help others, yet not when it interferes with a major personal interest of mine.
 
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