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pain helps a lot
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
24 years ago today i was hit by a car while waiting for the school bus in my freshman year at high school. broke my femur, jaw and fractured my pelvis. had to be airlifted to a shock trauma center in maryland and needed 3 surgeries on my leg to set the femur correctly.
with that background info, my question is: could i have suffered post traumatic stress disorder? i was never diagnosed, but damn, that was the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me.
also, in ptsd, is it common to have uncontrollable replays of the entire incident in your mind for like 2 days? this is what i experience. it starts the night before because i was so depressed about the way i am (even at age 14) that i spent that night sobbing and praying for god or whoever is in charge to take me. "either give me peace in my mind or give me peace in death". so what did happen? i was maimed but didn't die, and the physical and mental pain get progressively and exponentially worse every year as i get older. time does not heal ALL wounds.
sorry to sound like i'm wallowing in self pity, but this is what happens to me every october 9th and 10th.
any ideas or suggestions?
ps. my sister actually had the birth of her daughter induced on oct.10, 2000 to help the family associate that day with something positive. so now i lovingly wish her a happy birthday and give her lots of big, tight hugs like she's going to save my life.
 

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not evn sposed to be here
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...uncontrollable replays of the entire incident in your mind for like 2 days?
These are termed "intrusive thoughts" and they are a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder. I'm assuming you mean that you have multiple replays and not 1 continuous replay that lasts 2 days straight :b

I believe, in general, that minds find it important to review situations that caused pain so you can avoid them in the future. It's problematic when these review sessions cause uncomfortable levels of anxiety. It seems odd that you're haunted by these memories at the same time every year --perhaps your memories are queued by the changes in the environment during early October (That fall smell and the weather, for example, may be linked to the accident in your mind and you therefore revisit those memories at around this time). Perhaps there are other social factors at work producing the timeliness of your intrusive thoughts.

One thing that might help you is to desensitize yourself to those memories --if you're anything like me, you probably avoid thinking about it because those thoughts make you feel infliction.
One way to do this is to recall the event while moving your eyes around (just looking from thing to different thing or moving your eyes in circles). This makes the memory less visually immersive in my experience.

I tried to Google for it, I think it's called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. I read about it originally from a more instructional perspective somewhere else though.
 

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pain helps a lot
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141 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
telefy, i may just try that. i think you're correct about the season bringing the memories about: october used to be my favorite month and i have always loved fall.
the "intrusive thoughts" you so aptly named do come in waves, and they are not continuous. i was in and out of conciousness that day so the memories are the ones i have. i morbidly asked the boy who was with me when it happened if i looked and saw the car coming or if i was totally oblivious of it, but he has never been able to talk about it. apparently i'm not the only one who suffered trauma that day.
other times (not associated with the time of year) i do have the intrusive thoughts about the incident but it stems mostly from frustration about having a 38 year old body that feels and acts like a 75 year old body.
another question, would your average antidepressant help treat these flashbacks. i've never found one that took care of everything (anxiety, panic, social phobia, and these intrusive thoughts). i'm asking a lot, i know. but so many people tell me to "get over it", especially after 24 years, but since my body reminds me of it every single day, i doubt that i ever will "get over it".
i saw a thread in another forum here about holding grudges against others, i tend to hold grudges against myself and my experiences. weird.
thanks for the reply.
 

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Yes you could suffer from it. For some reason most people associate PTSD with war. Truth is any life threating event can cause it. Some think that something like a serious breakup or divorce can even cause it.
 

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sorry about your traumatic incident and the fact that the tragedy still lingers - I hope you are able to cope .

as far as anti-depressants go, the SSRI class of anti-depressants generally does a bunch of things together.
it reduces dep/GAD/SAD/OCD.

In most cases, the very first SSRI type you take may help. sometimes you might have to try different types.
So dont be worried. ask your doc for another one.
also SSRIs take from 2 weeks to 1 month for the action to kick in.


btw - I had an experience when I was 10 years old (i am 41 now).
I was riding my bicycle and ran of a 5 year old girl. I turned back to see what happened. the girl somehow managed to get up and running away scared.
To this day I have flashbacks of the girls face. it was a combination of fear and somehow an expression of guilt (as if she herself was responsible for the accident).
I feel so sad for that little girl.
 

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Just me being me
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I was recently told by a therapist that I may have PTSD (traumatic childhood) with social anxiety as a secondary disorder. Has anyone else been diagnosed with PTSD primarily?
 
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