I've been a procrastinator as long as I can remember, even back to elementary school - back in the days of the dinosaurs.
And it involved everything in my life as far as I can remember... but it's much worse now, and the depressions are worse too. I guess if I want to be honest with myself, it didn't include the care of my children, they came first. But it did include if I was involved in taking them somewhere, a special event, something I needed to do for them for school... anything that involved me doing something and involved something or someone other than just them.
I can relate to most of what all of you have said.
I haven't worked for almost 21 years, but I've wanted to start a business from home for more than 5 years. I had a great idea for something I thought would do very well, but within the last couple of months, I've discovered that now others have had this great idea too and it's no longer unique. I knew that was going to happen if I drug my feet long enough. I know I sometimes set myself up for failure.
I finally took my sewing machine in to be cleaned and tuned (after about a year of putting it off) but that was almost a year ago now, my mother gave me her serger (but I was scared of it and it took me 8 months to decided to figure it out, just looking at how it was threaded and giving it a try... all the while I'm buying every book I can find on sergers 'just in case' I run into problems somewhere along the line), I talked to my father's attny last year sometime to find out what was required for starting a cottage industry, but I didn't know what to ask him so of course stuttered and stammered around and didn't get much info. I want to see how it goes selling things on eBay but I get confused so easily that I can't even bring myself to read what all is required in order to do that.
I think some of my procrastination is because I'm very afraid of commitment and afraid I'll make a mistake. I'm extremely limited on resources (money) so if I make a mistake, I may not be able to replace or fix it.
I had a "friend" for a couple of months that told me she built computers for a living and was in charge of maintaining the computers where she worked. She told me she'd help me buy the components for a new computer and put it together for me. I had only intended to go look and see what was available, make my choices and buy them when I was ready... the day we went, I ended up bringing home close to $1,200 worth of stuff - there went a very large portion of my funds (my computer had broken down and I wanted to replace it anyway- it had already been in the shop about 4 times). It's almost impossible for me to tell people no or that I don't want to do something, or have a different idea about how I want things to go. It was my fault, not her's.
That was in Sept. I thought Ok... I've bit the bullet, I'm committed. But then she ran into trouble putting it together... kept the manuals so she could call the companies and sent everything else home with me. A month went by and she finally said she had the answers, but by then I was in a depression and couldn't continue with things, then she was, and it went on like that for several months.
Another friend ended up putting it together for me without the manuals in March. Mistakes can be very expensive. The friend that put it together for me talked me into getting Windows XP Home, when I'd wanted the Prof., but I'd forgotten by then why I wanted the Prof. :doh It wasn't his fault I couldn't remember.
I want a 3-in-1 printer, and I've researched them several times, but I'm afraid to commit to buying one - and then I keep forgetting what I found out when I did the research. I want a digital camera, but I don't know which of the ones that are on the cheaper side would do the job I want... so I put it off. There are other things too, but it's been so long I can't even remember what they are.
I've known for quite a while (like 4 years) that once I applied for SSDI, I'd at some point need an attny. I've been at the 'need an attny' stage for almost a year now and can't bring myself to make the calls. I've never had much success with hiring people that will do a proper job and I'm really afraid I'll make a mistake again.
I love getting emails, but I hate answering, I hate the phone, I can only rarely go out. But I don't like this solitary life either. I started a book recently (something about why bad things happen to good people that my C recommended) but put it down and now I have no idea where it's at.
This procrastination extends to every area of my life, but I think, for me, a lot of it has to do with fear of failing... the personal things and housekeeping stuff I think has to do with depression and not caring as much as I used to.
