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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Post some of your goals setting for the week and report back with the progress / completions.

Mine:
- Start going to the gym more often for spinning classes (Goal is 4 times this week)
- Stop eating so much junk food (Ice cream, chips, energy drinks, candy, etc.)
- Get enough sleep (At-least 7hrs every day)
- Actively look at new job positions which are way closer to home (Current work is 1hr away).
- Attempt to make new friends / meet new people through SAS, Meet up and possibly Kijiji?.
 

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My goals for this week.

-keep practicing my Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
-Begin reading my MSFS-X For Pilots book again.
-Look into attending the local community college.
-Finish reading The Fellowship Of The Ring. I only have one more chapter to read, yet for whatever reason I have put off reading it for two weeks.
-Wash one load of laundry tomorrow.
-Write down a schedule of things I would like to do during the day.
 

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Good idea for a thread Yulian!.. err now to think.. don't like to put to much pressure on myself lol..

Keep my living area tidy, keep up with dishes.. Get out of the house at least once during the week.
 

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No flex zone
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12/3-15 to 19/3-15

- do the dishes at least once everyday
- go for a walk at least once everyday
- finish my assignment before monday
- write down at least one thing I did that made me uncomfortable big or small, everyday for a week (good tip for everyone, it's nice to see things you've accomplished)
 

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16/03/2015 - 21/03/2015

- Find info about the gym I want to star going
- Arrange an appointment for therapy
- Have lunch with people of my age at work

Two out of three in just one day, I'm on fire.

I had a hard time finding the value to go to the gym and ask for info, since there were people working out and really bulked up. I thought they were going to make fun of me for being so skinny, I was about to leave, but then I remembered why I was there. I'm proud I was brave enough to stay.

About that lunch, oh boy, that was one of the best thing to happen to me in a while. 6-7 people who share your interests, for a moment I felt like a part of something. They even invited me to a trip, but I don't if I should go, perhaps I'm not ready for that yet.

Althought I need to be careful, the pretty ladie (there's always one) is clouding my vision, and I sense that "Crush Feeling". That's the disadvantage of having been alone for so long, you fall immediately for anyone. I need to avoid that, because I know is a direct route to pain. I HAVE to be strong.

There will be more coming, I feel like I can really change things this time.
 

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Okay, maybe writing them out will give me some much needed motivation. To be finished by 3/27

- Find employment
- Go to DMV and work on establishing residency
- Find therapist and schedule an appointment
- Jog at park 5 times over the next 10 days
- Call family in the next state over to schedule a time to meetup
 

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This isn't a weekly goal, but I just joined a meetup. The old one I had joined (which had caused such anxiety the first time I joined) turned out to be really great, but that was two years ago. Another one didn't go well, and I had anxiety through the meetup. It was fun, but most people knew each other and I was very much single and it was weird.

Anyways, since the first has disbanded, I guess, I joined a similar one, posting a question on their site, because I don't think that group is active either (for those wondering, I'm trying to find a trail running group). I kept checking last year, but nothing...

Anyways, my goal is to check up on it, and if I get an answer that it's still on, then I'm going to go NO MATTER WHAT. No excuses. Ideally I'd join more, but it seems the others are a lot more social (sitting around, talking playing board games) or couple oriented (dancing). So yeah, hopefully they'll respond to my comment (the event has been open since 2010, so I do highly doubt it...).

16/03/2015 - 21/03/2015

- Find info about the gym I want to star going
- Arrange an appointment for therapy
- Have lunch with people of my age at work

Two out of three in just one day, I'm on fire.

I had a hard time finding the value to go to the gym and ask for info, since there were people working out and really bulked up. I thought they were going to make fun of me for being so skinny, I was about to leave, but then I remembered why I was there. I'm proud I was brave enough to stay.

About that lunch, oh boy, that was one of the best thing to happen to me in a while. 6-7 people who share your interests, for a moment I felt like a part of something. They even invited me to a trip, but I don't if I should go, perhaps I'm not ready for that yet.

Althought I need to be careful, the pretty ladie (there's always one) is clouding my vision, and I sense that "Crush Feeling". That's the disadvantage of having been alone for so long, you fall immediately for anyone. I need to avoid that, because I know is a direct route to pain. I HAVE to be strong.

There will be more coming, I feel like I can really change things this time.
Good job! Can I ask some questions, because I had a hard time with this when I had a job. How did you have lunch with people at your work? Did you just go up to their table? Are they in your department? Most of the people my age were in different departments and I never saw them really. I'm just curious if there was prior introduction or if it was just sort of randomly walking up to a table (my last workplace employed hundreds and hundreds of people, maybe it depends on the work environment). I'm just curious, because for my next job (hopefully there will be people my age there, most times there isn't), I really want to work on that. My anxiety is getting lower, I just REALLY need to work on initiation, because it's just really hard.

My goal is to get to know people well enough where they'd consider me cool to invite on a trip for, just like old groups of friends I've had. You should go for it!
 

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This isn't a weekly goal, but I just joined a meetup. The old one I had joined (which had caused such anxiety the first time I joined) turned out to be really great, but that was two years ago. Another one didn't go well, and I had anxiety through the meetup. It was fun, but most people knew each other and I was very much single and it was weird.

Anyways, since the first has disbanded, I guess, I joined a similar one, posting a question on their site, because I don't think that group is active either (for those wondering, I'm trying to find a trail running group). I kept checking last year, but nothing...

Anyways, my goal is to check up on it, and if I get an answer that it's still on, then I'm going to go NO MATTER WHAT. No excuses. Ideally I'd join more, but it seems the others are a lot more social (sitting around, talking playing board games) or couple oriented (dancing). So yeah, hopefully they'll respond to my comment (the event has been open since 2010, so I do highly doubt it...).

Good job! Can I ask some questions, because I had a hard time with this when I had a job. How did you have lunch with people at your work? Did you just go up to their table? Are they in your department? Most of the people my age were in different departments and I never saw them really. I'm just curious if there was prior introduction or if it was just sort of randomly walking up to a table (my last workplace employed hundreds and hundreds of people, maybe it depends on the work environment). I'm just curious, because for my next job (hopefully there will be people my age there, most times there isn't), I really want to work on that. My anxiety is getting lower, I just REALLY need to work on initiation, because it's just really hard.

My goal is to get to know people well enough where they'd consider me cool to invite on a trip for, just like old groups of friends I've had. You should go for it!
You just have to be brave enough (trust me, I know how hard it can be) to go to a table and just say: Do you mind if I sit with you? That's it. Most people won't have any problem with that, and if they have, well, like you said, workplaces employ hundred of people, so **** them, you can always try with another person/group.

After that, is just a question of working the conversation little by little. What's your name? What kind of work do you do? How long have you been here? Simple stuff. Then, when you feel confident enough, you could try to ask some of them for their cell number (Be careful though, if you do that with a women/men, he/she could think that you're trying something else, that happened to me once xD).

Thats the way I did it. It helps a lot if you know where they usually take lunch, that way you can keep a track on them (as horribly as that sounds), just try to not appear too needy.

All of what I have said could be judged as cheesy, but it worked for me, don't worry too much. If it doesn't work, so be it, life can continue the same as before.

I really hope you have the courage to take that step, and I wish I could be there to help you. You can do it if I could.

Good Luck and thanks for the reply :)
 

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And no, they are not at my department, in that place I'm completely alone, I couldn't care less about that people. Lunchs are the best moments of my day.
 

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You just have to be brave enough (trust me, I know how hard it can be) to go to a table and just say: Do you mind if I sit with you? That's it. Most people won't have any problem with that, and if they have, well, like you said, workplaces employ hundred of people, so **** them, you can always try with another person/group.

After that, is just a question of working the conversation little by little. What's your name? What kind of work do you do? How long have you been here? Simple stuff. Then, when you feel confident enough, you could try to ask some of them for their cell number (Be careful though, if you do that with a women/men, he/she could think that you're trying something else, that happened to me once xD).

Thats the way I did it. It helps a lot if you know where they usually take lunch, that way you can keep a track on them (as horribly as that sounds), just try to not appear too needy.

All of what I have said could be judged as cheesy, but it worked for me, don't worry too much. If it doesn't work, so be it, life can continue the same as before.

I really hope you have the courage to take that step, and I wish I could be there to help you. You can do it if I could.

Good Luck and thanks for the reply :)
Hey, thanks for your response. I've gotten over most of the anxiety but problems of loneliness still remain, not to mention my shy nature. I was just curious. I know that's how it's done, but boy is it scary (and I know that's when my anxiety will attack). I'm glad to see it worked out for you, though! I'm currently unemployed, but I will definitely push myself to just 'do it' and introduce myself at the next job I get. I'm working on interviews now, so I'm thinking way ahead, but I'm glad to know that it can be done successfully cold turkey with complete strangers! :):):)
 

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Little Update: I Invited a "friend" of that group to came to my house; yeah, me, the zero friends guy

I have had problems with my insecurities, specially with the feeling of being really ugly, I just can't control it. Every time I see the pretty girl, I feel like crap, because I realize I'm just not good enough for someone like her. She makes me want to be a better person (which is sad if you think about it, because I just met her) but in that matter (physically) there is not much that I can do. But I will prevail, I HAVE to.

About that trip (two weeks from now - easter week - the only thing religion did well), I'm still insecure, I mean, Its a beach trip, and I'm not exactly swimsuit material...

Oh, and I started at the gym. being there 4 times, It hurts like hell, and I'm ****ing weak.
 

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Get my bank account set up so I can have a credit card and establish credit.
Continue to work out.
Try to fap at least once this week.
 

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-Go to the gym or my mma classes atleast 3 times this week.
-talk to people in my class that I don't usually talk to.
-confront my room mate about something that happened.
- get my school work done.
 

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For tomorrow:

If I see that smiling guy on the bus again (I rarely see him), then I WILL talk to him. I WILL initiate that conversation. No matter what. That is, if he's on the bus tomorrow. I WILL do it! I AM WOMAN!!!!!!!!! RAWR!

Edit: Did not have chance. Chose not to go in to work that day because I had to take dog to crematory :(
 

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-Go to the gym or my mma classes atleast 3 times this week. check
-talk to people in my class that I don't usually talk to. check
-confront my room mate about something that happened. check
- get my school work done.
Boom, got most of a this done so I'm happy.

For next week:

- go to the gym 3 times.
- talk to a girl 1 on 1 who I'm slightly interested in.
- read a few chapters of my book.
- finish my damn school work
 

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School is the worst.
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a bit late, but this is just until up to sunday
-don't die when I do the presentation at school tomorrow
-don't listen to the negative comments people will say during my presentation
-laugh at myself if a screw up
-sit next to that lonely looking nerdy but cute girl in English class ( I doubt this will be done)
-tell my teachers that im not going to be there
and im also going to a gaming expo on Saturday, but im going with my sister and my friend so it wont be too too bad.
-don't have a panic attack if I feel too uncomfortable
-stay as long as I can
 
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