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I recently started thinking and reflecting on my social anxiety. I have noticed my thinking is less distorted slightly and I feel more comfortable in public. I manage to laugh and smile more with people I don't know. I'm still pretty intimidated, but these are improvements.
 

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I went to a student-faculty mixer today and got to talk with some people who are also taking foreign language classes. One talkative guy approached me, showed me a video series on his laptop and I started talking with him and another girl. The guy even told me where and what time he usually hangs out, if I want to hang out again. There's still some awkwardness and difficulty in my social interactions, like getting left out of the conversation, not being responded to, making other people feel awkward, etc. but I'm glad I took another small step. Going to something like a mixer in and of itself was another bold move I would have never previously thought I would take. :)
 

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I made myself go to an away weekend with a new group of people I sing with. 24/7 socialising for 3 days, was really full on but now when I go to rehearsals I know lots of people and don’t feel awkward at break times 😊 it paid off in the long run
 

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Plan on going to a bar alone tomorrow. Not expecting much, but hopefully i atleast find a new drink to like
 

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Discussion Starter · #125 ·
I had an eye test today and said which letters I could see and which lenses were better instead of pointing to my handwritten alphabet like I did the last two times I went.
 

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I tried some squid dish at a japanese market and it was great. Sat down with other people close by but didn't worry, guess I was more hungry than anxious.
 

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I told one of my professors that I had SA today and if he could find a group to place me in for a group project we have. I was very worried about how he would take it and I made sure to tell him that in no way was I telling him so that I could get out of the presentation. This will be the first time I tell someone I have it, besides to one friend I've told and some attempts to my family.

I had the names of two people in mind (from a former project we did) who I thought of trying to partner up with beforehand, but I didn't know what either of them looked like and I was too scared to find out who they were myself so I left the class early. :sigh

I missed my chance to get in a group today because of that, but I'm hoping my professor can find a group with people related to my major for me. I feel ashamed I have to ask about that in and of itself...And I never thought I'd be telling outside people about my SA like that, since I didn't agree with the idea of sharing it so openly but since I've been making small progress, I thought I wanted to start coming out about it more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #130 ·
I got my learner's permit.
 

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Thanks. :) I hadn't seen some of the questions before, so I was sure I was going to fail the test.
The way they do it here is you have to know the answer to every question they could possibly ask even though they don't ask every question you have to know the answer to. It's kinda dumb that they don't just tell you what's gonna be on the test but I guess that is their way of forcing people to study everything. But here, you have to get a certain percentage to pass. I don't remember what it was but let's say 80%. 79% on most tests would still be passing (It would be like a C or something in school) but on the driver's test you either pass or fail. Which I thought was kinda dumb

Funny thing was when I got my license this time, I failed the vision test and they let me go anyway. Which seemed very odd to me. Like she didn't even say "you didn't pass the vision test". I could just tell that I didn't because I couldn't see most of the letters I was supposed to call and just guessed.

EDIT - Also funny is that when you're out driving around here almost everyone breaks almost every traffic law they have. If the speed limit is 45 most people are going 70 and weaving in and out of traffic without signalling and tailgating and so forth. So if you're on a road where the speed limit is 45 and you're going 60, you will probably have someone tailgating you because they want to go faster. So you can't win even if you break the speed limit. :lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #134 ·
The way they do it here is you have to know the answer to every question they could possibly ask even though they don't ask every question you have to know the answer to. It's kinda dumb that they don't just tell you what's gonna be on the test but I guess that is their way of forcing people to study everything. But here, you have to get a certain percentage to pass. I don't remember what it was but let's say 80%. 79% on most tests would still be passing (It would be like a C or something in school) but on the driver's test you either pass or fail. Which I thought was kinda dumb

Funny thing was when I got my license this time, I failed the vision test and they let me go anyway. Which seemed very odd to me. Like she didn't even say "you didn't pass the vision test". I could just tell that I didn't because I couldn't see most of the letters I was supposed to call and just guessed.
It's similar here, but the online practice test lets you know which questions you got right or wrong and which part of the book they were mentioned in so you can study that section again. Most of the questions in the real test were the same as the practice one, but you don't know if you've passed or failed until you finish and go back to the desk. I got 94%, and you need 78% to pass. I think I got two wrong, and the receipt told me which parts of the book I need to look at again (sharing the road and parking).

The eye test here was very easy. I only had to read one line (they let me write them instead of saying them) and the letters were big, and they were the same size on every line. One of the reasons I waited so long to try to get my permit was that I didn't think I would be allowed to because of my vision.
 

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It's similar here, but the online practice test lets you know which questions you got right or wrong and which part of the book they were mentioned in so you can study that section again. Most of the questions in the real test were the same as the practice one, but you don't know if you've passed or failed until you finish and go back to the desk. I got 94%, and you need 78% to pass. I think I got two wrong, and the receipt told me which parts of the book I need to look at again (sharing the road and parking).

The eye test here was very easy. I only had to read one line (they let me write them instead of saying them) and the letters were big, and they were the same size on every line. One of the reasons I waited so long to try to get my permit was that I didn't think I would be allowed to because of my vision.
Yeah. They did have the online practice test here and I just kept taking it until I passed every time. But it was still harder than I thought a driving exam should be. It was way harder than my first driving exam when I was 15. Or I guess I should say I think it had way more questions on it than my first one did (although that's obviously been so long I don't remember it well). Also I took driver's ed when I was 15 and had to have a certain number of hours spent driving with an instructor who was very good at what she did and taught me how to parallel park perfectly (which I pretty much never had to do again once I got my license because it's rare that you ever have to do that anywhere). She also prepared me for the road test better than she was required to by taking me on the exact route they would be taking me on and telling me how they try to trick you on certain parts.
 

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I rode the bus today. Not by choice. I had to to get to my therapy appointment. I had a panic attack and was nauseated the whole way, and am still nauseated, but I did it. Haven't been on a bus in about 8 years.
 

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I Am Second
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Practiced driving again for first time in like 2yrs. Did ok :).
 

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I didn't really think it was a big step but in retrospect I did manage to give a presentation which isn't something I'd felt I was able to do a year or two ago.
 

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A Person
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Today my boss told me off. A few years ago I would apologise immediately, falter, say i'm sorry hundreds of times, feel crappy and go in the toilet and cry. But .... I stood my ground. I didn't cry. I didnt say soryy. This is a huge accomplishment.
 
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