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Spread Your Wings
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I've always been called 'slow' all my life, from sports to simple activity like packing of an item; I would be accuse of not putting enough effort to do it right.

I was wondering if this is SA at work or I just had no chance to improve my motor skills as this is one of the area that I am very much afraid of people judging me.

When I exercise, people tell me that I am too ugly to watch and that I look so weak attempting a simple workout.

When comes to multitasking in movement, I would be struggling like crazy and I would look really,really laughable and clumsy because my concentration would mess up really bad and I could literally feel my brains sliding back and forth inside my head :no

Because of this, I tend to give off the impression of a baby or seem like I don't even know anything deep at all.

Why? How could I make my actions seem more coordinated and fluid?
 

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I'm not sure about that, but I can tell you that some years ago, people said that motor skills were poor and at some degree worrying. At that time, I started to play soccer and I was really bad (was one of the last choosen). Now, after years of playing soccer I can say that some mates admire my skills and people and I impress the people who some years ago said that.

Maybe practice is the solution, in my case it was.
 

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I probably have something like this...

I remember as a kid, when someone asked to borrow an eraser, it was just thrown across the room to be caught. I always dreaded having to catch something b/c I knew I would drop it or if I did manage to catch it, it would look as if I tried too hard. I don't know, it was little things like that which made me feel different. I used to pay attention to the body language of all the "popular" kids; I noticed how they sat down, what they did with their hands, how they walked, and so forth. I did all this since the first grade, at a very young age -- all in an effort to be more normal.

These days, I hardly notice those things except when I have to do a class presentation and it's not my turn yet. In those cases, I try to pay attention to every detail of my peers' presentations, from the opening (Good morning class, my name is so-and-so and I did my project on blah), to the words and body language they used, and to the way they respond to questions concerning their project, etc.

It's hard trying to remember small details like this because sometimes I forget that it's not normal.
 

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I bet a lot of it is caused by self-consciousness. I know that I am, when relaxed/by myself, etc., a well-coordinated person. I'm pretty deft :D. But whenever I'm in public, I literally cannot function. My aim is terrible, I stumble. It sucks. Don't beat yourself up over it. Don't label yourself as sometthing that you're likely not.
 

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I got peer pressured into folk dancing today. I couldn't get my feet to move in time where my brain was telling them to. That was two hours ago, I am still reeling from the embarrassment. I am trying to tell myself that since it was my first time , that I don't have the muscle memory (even though these were really basic). Despite my failings I tried my best to smile and not let my despair reflect on my body language to the best of my knowledge (I'm not good at self awareness)

:mum

I honestly don't know how to reframe or block this crap moment.
 

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OP - how's your sleep? Poor psychomotor skills are one of the symptoms of the various sleep disorders.
 

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I have recurring dreams of feeling a similar way, like i can't move properly and that i look really dumb. Its anxiety IRL manifested into something extreme in my dreams. I guess just try to focus on what you're doing rather than the anxiety which ain't easy i'm guessing.
 

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I have recurring dreams of feeling a similar way, like i can't move properly and that i look really dumb. Its anxiety IRL manifested into something extreme in my dreams. I guess just try to focus on what you're doing rather than the anxiety which ain't easy i'm guessing.
Yeah, I have many dreams about this too! **** SAD!
 

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I think there's a couple of possibilities here:

1. You're clumsy due to SA. I drop things, freeze up, look stupid walking, can't write, can't find my mouth when eating etc due to SA. I get self conscious and then my muscles go all stiff and/or shaky and that's why I look retarded and awkward.

I can walk, write, eat and not drop things etc when nobody is watching me. If its the same for you and when nobody's watching you you're fine, then your problem is due to SA.

2. You have poor psychomotor skills, perhaps due to something like dyspraxia. I can't do things like catch a ball, be good at sports, run well etc regardless of who's watching me or not. If your problems persist even when you're not being watched, then you might want to look into dyspraxia if your psychomotor issues affect your life in lots of areas really badly.

3. You're as graceful as a swan but you're with abusive bullies. Are you sure you're actually clumsy, or are you just made to feel that way by certain people?

4. It's some combination of the above.
 
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