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Poll for older members

1203 Views 24 Replies 22 Participants Last post by  SparklingWater
By "older" I guess I mean over 40 but I guess you can answer if you want to if you're under 40 (just say approximately how old you are).

So. Another open-ended poll

How do you feel about being old(er)? Is it how you always thought it would be or are you surprised by anything?
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For me, I have to say that getting older has surprised me in a lot of ways I didn't expect. If I think back to my early 20s, when I saw/thought about older people, I thought that your appearance (obviously) changes but you feel and think the same as you did when you were younger. And wow, was I wrong. I mean, I guess that happens for some people but I completely did not expect to feel so bad all the time. To have aching muscles all day from getting on my hands and knees to fix something. To have muscle pains that came out of nowhere and seem to be permanent. To summarize, I don't feel a day under 75 (I'm 49).

And yes. Of course I let myself go and didn't exercise and so forth because I thought what I thought. I didn't think it was possible to feel this bad unless you have cancer or something. Or some disease there's a name for and a definitive diagnosis. When I was 25, exercising literally did nothing for me other than keep me from doing things I'd rather be doing instead. I could spend 45 minutes working out and feel no difference. So I just said "Why bother?" Now if I work out for 45 minutes, I fall asleep immediately and have no energy for days.
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Not at that age yet but it’s creeping up

Exercising- my muscles get a lot more sore running per se than they used too. Can’t eat how I used to without feeling bloated or have tummy aches. OP IMO the exercise though might be good for you in that many with anxiety deal with insomnia issues. Exercise tires you out.

Anxiety- double edge sword. In ways I’m much better but at the same time more adult responsibilities thrown my way
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OP IMO the exercise though might be good for you in that many with anxiety deal with insomnia issues. Exercise tires you out.
Nope. I tried exercising every day for several years and it never made me feel any better and always made me tired and shaky and jittery. It causes my blood sugar to bottom out and makes me extremely jittery and hungry. Which I can't eat much or my blood sugar will then spike and I'll be even more tired.

All the wonderful benefits you supposedly get from exercise? I don't get any of that. It just makes me feel like I'm gonna drop dead any minute.
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I feel better physically and mentally at 42 than I did at 22. Not a surprise though, my dad took up marathons at 40 and hit his physical peak mid-40s. It's around 60 when things really start to fall apart for most people I think.

The only decline so far is staying awake for 40 hours is no longer an option whenever I feel like it. And when I do get a slight ache I worry that it won't go away and is the start of the downhill slide. When things are blurry for a moment when I look up after reading for an hour, I worry old-sightedness has started. So basically there's the insecurity of not knowing when something will change irrevocably. On the plus side, I'm less worried about going bald than twenty years ago.

I was never one to exercise for the sake of exercising, until I started doing pushups at 40 just to see if it was possible to get any upper body strength I'd never had. It worked but I had no use for it so pretty much stopped that and back to just doing fun things that happen to be exercise (hiking, pickleball).
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Nearing 40 so to me that's a little scary. Everyone ages differently though, in my opinion, but not necessarily better or worse, just.. different.
I'm not as flexible as I once was, my back is hurting a bit more. I have yet to test out if I can get that spring in my step and my back in tip top shape by just exercising more.

Despite not feeling achy yet, every little pain still manages to scare me. And I mean every single one. I had a stomach issue back in winter that I ended up going to urgent care for, that was ultimately unresolved but it went away eventually. Prior to that, I never ever worried that what I ate could cause anything. Things were running through my mind like colitis or even cancer.. it's a scary thought definitely, esp if you didn't have a history of stomach problems.

And, to make things even more exciting, I have menopause to look forward to which, I.. m not really sure what it entails but because of my race, apparently I'm at higher risk of osteoporosis due to menopause and the subsequent lack of estrogen causing your body to leach calcium from bones. (Then again of course, if you're pregnant, your baby can leach calcium from you also).

I get heart palpitations more often than I'd like. Not a good feeling and I have two really bad teeth. It seems my habits are starting to catch up with me, and my anxiety is through the roof. A while back, I was losing a ton of hair and thought, oh no, I'm getting thyroid issues now (but it was just cyclical hair loss thankfully).. What Im saying is, it's scary to age, for me. The weight thing... Yea, no it will be very hard to bounce back to my previous weight and previous vanity. But I'm learning to accept more things than not.
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Close to 61 now. I guess I don't have as much energy or recover as quickly like I used to. Recently though I've been feeling pretty energetic might just be the beautiful weather we've been having, sunny but cool and low humidity. High humidity really makes me feel lethargic. I don't really have much in the way of persistent aches or pains, the only time I really get muscle soreness is if I'm doing something, working on some vehicle or equipment that involves some contortion. I really need to do regular stretches for my legs or else I'm vulnerable to sore hamstrings if I do certain types of work. My lower back is actually much better than when I was young since I've learned what to do If I feel it starting to go out. Need to stop what I'm doing and not try to work through it, lots of gentle stretching and sitting in my computer chair with the great lower back support. I will never get rid of this chair.

My usual activity for the week is pretty physical. lots of lifting and walking and standing. I delivered two loads of hay last week which involves lifting hay bales by hand since I can't load the truck and trailer by machine and have to load it into the horse barn by hand. I can still unload and stack 75 bales into the barn in about a half hour with no problem. Still I wouldn't attempt to do what I did when I was younger like the times I had to load 700-1000 bales on a semi. Lots of times that felt like I imagine running a marathon would feel. I remember one time taking practically all day to load 1000 with just me on the ground and the driver stacking the hay on the trailer. The driver/dealer actually ended up throwing his back out towards the end of loading the trailer unfortunately. He was pretty old too, might have been in the 70s I think he died not too many years after that.

I do still lift weights but I found long ago I only need to workout each muscle group once every two weeks to maintain muscle mass and strength I usually just work one muscle group on separate days which makes for very short workouts.

edit: Surprises... the one thing that surprises me is how fast time goes by now, seems like ten years goes by in the blink of an eye.
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I think I'm constantly surprised by things - I have a couple of niggling issues that I won't go into here but I worry about them constantly. As my old man told me once - "don't get old, there's no future in it." When I was younger I didn't think about getting older at all - I was always sort of just going off on whatever crazy idea I had at the time. Needless to say I've slowed down a bit now and it's getting very boring.
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Not that I'm qualified to answer since I'm not as old yet, but as I read this I feel my knee pain that I've been having for the past few days. I don't want to think how I'll be ten years from now at this rate.
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I'm 38, and I'm continually surprised that I'm still alive. When I was in my tweens and teens I never could have believed that I'd live this long. Go figure.

The real problem is that my mental and/or emotional maturity doesn't match my age, obviously. I still feel like a dumb teen in my head. I always thought I'd feel "like an adult" when I was this age, but nope. Maybe because I categorically reject "adulting," or maybe because of stunted emotional growth, IDK.

I definitely tire a lot easier now than I did in my teens or early 20's, that's for sure. It's a lot harder to mow our entire yard; I have to do the front one day and the back another. And I've started to develop some random pain in my right knee, mostly when I climb stairs, which I'm terrified could be arthritis because my mom has really bad arthritis in both knees that she doesn't do anything about. I really don't want to be in my 50's or whatever and handicapped, you know? Especially because I'm not going to have ANYONE to help me.
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VERY close to 30 but the older I get - I just keep thinking back on when I *****ed about technology, social media, etc would destroy our lives. Endless stress from work, just a mediocre existence. I was right, so I don't feel shocked at getting older
I think I am mostly surprised because I thought things would be worse and they are not.
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47 I think, or 46, can't remember haha.

Yeh, aches and pains.. lots more of those. Weird stuff like the underneath of my feet.

Injuries in the gym... are bad at this age. Take forever to heal and usually there's a lingering pain that lasts a long time. That being said, being a gym goer I have the tools to offset a lot of issues, strengthening is like magic. Oh, @coeur_brise re osteoporosis, weight training works for this too, some people aren't aware how much it increases bone density!

Mindset, well I eventually got over the whole society expectations at a certain age thing, but I did expect to have solved my anxiety and mental issues by this age, that didn't happen.

I'm more accepting of things tho I think.

Hah I just literally got out of bed with neck pain!
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Hah I just literally got out of bed with neck pain!
Oh man. I've been having pain in the back of my neck for like several years now. I'm not sure exactly when it started but I think it was when I had a seizure in my sleep a few years ago. I usually have large fuzzy gaps in my memory surrounding times when I had seizures. Anyway, it seems like the neck pain was not present before that and has been ever since. I had back pain before that but never neck pain. I've had a weird shoulder pain past few years. It comes and goes. That one I think might have actually been from one of my Covid shots. I think the lady who did that one actually stuck the needle into the shoulder joint and I remember it being more painful at the time than any of the other shots I got. It's been less painful the last year or so than it was though. But yeah. I agree. Seems like slight injuries hang around much longer the older I get. I used to bounce back from everything in like a week (or even a day in many cases).
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I feel physically at my strongest now at 40. Without any training I am able to lift heavier stuff and I have no muscle pains yet. I suspect this is because I never worked so I’m not worn out yet.
My face has changed minimally though I have lost almost all my hair, a little bit lower I have grown a belly something I never had before. The hair loss and belly are as far as I am concerned the only visible changes of my appearance.
What I do feel is how much flexibility I lost, I was able to bend myself in directions most people could only dream of in my twenties. Now I feel like I haven’t been oiled up in a long time though I am still more flexible than the average person, even the younger ones. I used to be able to jump up our garage by using the wall as a lever to go higher but now I can’t do that any longer, in fact I’m downright scared of trying it. Yet I think if I trained for it I would be able but back then I did it with my eyes closed so to speak.

I guess I’m still too young to physically feel very different

Mentally is an entirely different matter, I feel detached from the world, I can’t concentrate as much as I could when I was younger, I have to read texts 3 or 4 times to make sense out of something. I have the feeling I am getting dumber with age. My shyness and slight social anxiety made way for heavy avoidant behavior and often really dark destructive thoughts. When I was young I had less worries, laughed more and was overall very relaxed, now I feel some restlessness all the time, my brain is constantly spinning negative thoughts. The stuff I loved when I was young I still have an interest in but I don’t have the energy to really enjoy them. I have short burst of positive energy but they don’t last long. I felt positive yesterday, today I feel negativity.
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I'm 37. I feel very immature for my age other than starting to learn from some life experiences. I feel like I'm in my 20s but trapped in an older body.

Lots of aches and pain. Back pain is pretty random. Can be great one day and in a bunch of pain the next. My hands ache a lot, I assume related to arthritis, and I wake up often with my hands tightened up and numb. My doctor wants me to get on drugs that would affect my immune system, but I worry it would make some of my hobbies less safe(snorkeling/fishing near areas with lots of mist like dams). I'd also like to try to start dating again and worry it'd make me more prone to catching communicable diseases. So far doctors haven't been great on discussing this stuff with me. Also the one they were previously pushing wasn't covered much by my insurance and could cost me over a thousand a month...

Have lost a lot of weight(80lbs) partly through daily exercise like walking. But for the past month or so have been getting a ticking/clicking sound in my hip when I walk. Took a week off from exercise but didn't seem to help. Have tried a little stretching but doesn't seem to help. Going to mention to a doctor tomorrow.

Have been building muscle by going to my gym but my back and hands are weak points.

Feel really behind for approaching 40. Had definitely hoped I would've accomplished more. Only people I'm in contact with in real life are my Dad and ex. I'm severely lacking in social skills. Not sure if there is much hope at my age, but I plan to keep on trying to make some real life friends.

Worried it is shaping up to be a horrible 40+ at least health wise
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Physically, I still feel fine for now for the most part being in the 25-64 age group. Have yet to notice anything degrading physically per say. Although it's getting obvious how I cannot get into certain physical bodily positions as quick and lithe as I use to. When I do, I kind of have to ease into it and out of it. If I don't, I usually will feel it for a day or two afterwards. I get recurring upper back pain time to time, but that I think it's from a bad chair in the past I had been sitting for years. Time to time, I have odd bouts where I will just feel very off and abnormal for days to weeks. I do constantly worry about having undiagnosed health issues just looming, and it might all come into light at once as I get older. This stresses me out the most, especially being in America.

As I got older, I use to be surprised at how some of the older people I've long respected or give the benefit of the doubt, because they're older and wiser, appear to be pretty flawed, unrational and emotionally immature. For a while, this kind of let me down and made me see how fragile the world is. As I got even a bit older, I realize it might just mean it's my own personal growth and maturity realizing this, and to not see everything so black and white. Despite all my life, and to this day, I have been constantly conditioned and be told that I am stuck with the maturity level of a teenager. Compare to my peers, I am definitely moderately behind in where I am in life for my age financially, careerwise and relationships. I obviously am an underachiever, especially for a university graduate. But a lot of that is due to my own doing of having a rich history of bad decisions and bad luck. Gambles I've should taken that I didn't, gambles I took that I shoudn't have. Just making one bad decision after another. And letting my fear of being blackmailed & threats from over-controlling behavior shape my decision making. Despite that, I can sustain myself and my living currently, although it's one big life interference away from being all shattered. But if I were to be more in line with my peers in the eyes of others in the first place, I wouldn't have these interferences in the first place. So it's again kind of my own doing.

If my early 20s self was able to see where I am right now, I would definitely be surprised, disappointed and fall quickly into chronic depression.
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I'll be 40 later this year.

How do I feel about getting older? Not a fan. I'm physically in really good shape. I've kept up with working out and eating healthy throughout my 30's. But around 35 I started noticing I got hurt easier and started taking longer to get over injuries. Aches and pains started accumulating. Most days now I hurt somewhere. Haven't exactly slowed down, but physical stuff seems like it takes more effort.

I have started trying to take it easier with work and the gym. I lifted heavy weights and did powerlifting competitions through most of my 30's. The last few years have been constant injuries and I'm thinking more about how I need my body to last. My job isn't exactly hard, but a major injury could make it much harder. I've had minor injuries that have temporarily added hours to my workday just by making me move slower.

The last few years I've also started worrying about potential health problems. Mostly about possibly being ruined financially by them. I've had a hip problem for the last few years I'm really not wanting to get worse. And some pain in my side for the last year that I don't know what it is. I had to take blood pressure for awhile, but lost some weight and got it back under control.

I don't think I've really started looking much older yet. I still get mistaken for late 20's sometimes. My wife will say to tell me to take my hat off lol. I started losing my hair around 30 and am mostly bald now. I've always worn a hat though anyway. So at least hat on I guess I look younger.

Mentally I still feel like I did in my late teens or early 20's. Despite being married, owning a home, and holding down a job I still don't feel like an adult. Not the way I thought an adult would be when I was young. Or that I'm like I'm a fake adult somehow. I've actually mentioned this to a couple of people in real life and apparently at least some other people also feel this way. At this point I don't think I'm ever really going to change though.
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a lot of things I have had to face up to since my teens or 20s, my hair started falling out in my teens and had the hairline of a geriatric by the age of about 25. I sort of knew even from about the age of 10 that I would go bald but I didn't realise it would be that bad. I put my back out seriously in my teenage years and also in my 20s, problems with my lumber facet joint. also had some other bad back issues. I have also had aches and discomfort from my liver from the same age, so it's something that hasn't got worse but hasn't got better. I always assumed that certain things could be managed, like always being able to be in control of things and to never lose control. but after having a really bad spell in recent years it really humbled me as I realised some stuff is just out of our control. sometimes the brain just does things and there is nothing you can do but ride it out, similar to an epileptic fit, you just hope you come out the other side of whatever mental episode you are having ok.

the most obvious thing when I hit 30 was I could not eat and drink like I did in my teens and 20s. I could hit the pizza and beer regularly in my younger days and the body would just regulate itself. then my metabolism takes a plummet and now I couldn't eat and drink consistently like that at all.

i've always had problems with energy levels,motivation, and tiredness vs overstimulation so I am not really looking forward to getting older and feeling even more tired. or feeling mentally overstimulated and like my body isn't on the same page. that happens a bit now and it's kind of frustrating.

I think I took for granted how good my eyesight was as a child. didn't think it would get this bad over time. I guess I should have realised that I was bound to have failing eyesight since both my parents had to wear glasses. although it happened earlier for my mum than my dad.

I didn't expect things I like to change so much or never be permanent. things you like and enjoy with entertainment and media. you find a bunch of things that all very similar and you enjoy them and just expect to keep seeing a constant stream of that content or those personalities. but trends come and go, things just dry up or stuff changes/people change, services end. so i've sort of now come to terms with the idea that these things need maintaining and checking to make sure they are still what I want or they provide me with what I want.
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Apart from the common and the obvious, I've slowed down quite a bit. I think that I had a lot of nervous energy growing up due to some undiagnosed issues. A common phrase I heard from just about everyone as a youngster was to "slow down!!!!". Power walkers had nothing on me. But I don't have that issue anymore.
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