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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey, i hope this is not taken as trolling or attention-seeking, because it's not, i seriously want some help with this.:)

I think my other thread isn't viewed that much because it's in the 'Just for fun' section:

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com...-am-not-taking-this-poop-anymore-epic-144236/

I'd like you to read my last post (and if you want my other posts also) and reply with supportive/motivational comments. I need some approval that I can do it! That it's possible to reach my goal until next summer!:clap

I want to see a bunch of people believing i can definately do it, in that span of time, and that i should go for it.

I still have my doubts that i will end up having done all the hard work for nothing, and i want to take that doubt away.

Who supports me is my guardian angel.

:thanks
 

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Okay, I read your other thread, and to sum it up, you want to elimininate SA by next summer by doing the following (copy/pasted):

Ideas of how i will slap S.A. from different corners until it dies:
- Dr Richards Audio Series CBT Course
- Professional Therapist counselling, psychotherapy
- EMDR For specific trauma's maybe
- Focus on 'healing' and curing "toxic shame", see Lifetimer's thread about this
- Going to all kinds of 12step groups, sex addict group, AA, drug addict group, idea inspired by the movie Fight Club
- Go to a 'shy people' group meeting
- Self-hypnosis CDs/meditation daily, and maybe a few hypnotherapist visits here and there
- Getting physically strong, weightlifting and martial arts for becoming more mentally/physically tough

After progressing a bit into it a not feeling frightned around people anymore, i will start doing improvised exposure exercises, like approaching 30 people each day in public, with random questions. Or ringing the bell of random houses and trying to keep a conversation for as long as possible without feeling awkward.

============================================================

Everyone is different, and I have no idea if you can do it. I think you need to focus on less and not try to tackle so much. That's just me, though. It would be overwhelming for me to do all of the above that you've listed. Do you have a friend that you trust that you can go out with? I would try going out to different places with that friend and just meeting people that way...creating a network of people you enjoy doing things with. Martial arts is a good idea since it is something you enjoy and you can meet people that way. Good luck, and keep us updated!
 

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I read most of it to get the gist of what you're trying to do. I think it's great you want to tackle this head on just try to remember Rome wasn't built in a day. You have to allow yourself bad days and not let them defeat you.

I hope you succeed. And WHEN you do you can come back here and serve as inspiration to others. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Okay, I read your other thread, and to sum it up, you want to elimininate SA by next summer by doing the following (copy/pasted):

Ideas of how i will slap S.A. from different corners until it dies:
- Dr Richards Audio Series CBT Course
- Professional Therapist counselling, psychotherapy
- EMDR For specific trauma's maybe
- Focus on 'healing' and curing "toxic shame", see Lifetimer's thread about this
- Going to all kinds of 12step groups, sex addict group, AA, drug addict group, idea inspired by the movie Fight Club
- Go to a 'shy people' group meeting
- Self-hypnosis CDs/meditation daily, and maybe a few hypnotherapist visits here and there
- Getting physically strong, weightlifting and martial arts for becoming more mentally/physically tough

After progressing a bit into it a not feeling frightned around people anymore, i will start doing improvised exposure exercises, like approaching 30 people each day in public, with random questions. Or ringing the bell of random houses and trying to keep a conversation for as long as possible without feeling awkward.

============================================================

Everyone is different, and I have no idea if you can do it. I think you need to focus on less and not try to tackle so much. That's just me, though. It would be overwhelming for me to do all of the above that you've listed. Do you have a friend that you trust that you can go out with? I would try going out to different places with that friend and just meeting people that way...creating a network of people you enjoy doing things with. Martial arts is a good idea since it is something you enjoy and you can meet people that way. Good luck, and keep us updated!
Thank you for your contribution! :)

First of all i want to reply on the bold part. That IS the problem with SA, How can i enjoy social things when i have SA? At this point it is not possible yet. What you are suggesting me is a good method for lonely people without SA to make new friends, but for someone with SA trying to meet new people is just a good way to boost your SA and make you feel embarrased because of the panic/awkward feeling and interaction. Things have to be sorted out in the brain before going out and interacting, but fine, it's the Cognitive therapy that takes care of that. Exactly what i meant in the part that you quoted of me 'After progressing a bit' :) But great piece of advice after all, for when i am feeling more comfortable about myself in a true sober state :)

Ofcourse i have a friend that i trust, and i already go out. But that's not the point.
I want to be able to do all this sober.
I am currently find myself wasted drunk on ghb or alcohol:spit and all seems fine, but i also want to meet those people sober the next day.

Yep it is A LOT to do, but as i said, i have to focus on getting rid of S.A. as a full-time job, it's the only way to get rid of it asap. The more the better.
I cannot live with it anymore, really. How wierd this may sound, SA is NOT 'me' .
I was the total opposite of it 2 years ago. Friends, family are slowly starting to get confused because of me avoiding social interactions, looking nervous sometimes, acting strange sometimes, and being quiet/mysterious, they don't know what happened to me. I have to 'fix it all quickly' before everyone knows officially i 'have SA' and then i see even more drama, people treating me like a retard, and becoming more socially anxious, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Somehow i like it now because they're not treating me like some 'mentally disabled', since atm they just don't really know what is wrong with me, but on the other side it's annoying me that i can't communicate as before. This is where the missing piece is. You know, the SA really doesn't fit my situation! Then i also got some other business/work related things that don't go well with my SA.:no

I have big opportunities now in my life but i have to grasp them within the next year, and it's only truly possible if my SA is gone or at least lessened to a great degree, without any drugs. I will not go in details into this.;)

PS: Is it annoying that i always come up with long replys? I always want to make my point "extremely clear", i am kind of a perfectionist in a sense. I think sometimes people don't bother to reply on me because they know they will have to read a whole article of my reply :D
 

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I understand completely what you mean about how difficult it is to enjoy your time out in public when you have SA. That is why I asked if you have someone you trust that you can go out with... But, I understand :). You know what you need to do, but go at the pace you need...and be patient with yourself.

Also, yes, long posts are hard to respond to. So, if you want a lot of responses, keep them short and to the point. I know that's hard when you're a perfectionist and trying to be clear!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I read most of it to get the gist of what you're trying to do. I think it's great you want to tackle this head on just try to remember Rome wasn't built in a day. You have to allow yourself bad days and not let them defeat you.

I hope you succeed. And WHEN you do you can come back here and serve as inspiration to others. Good luck.
Thanks!

I understand completely what you mean about how difficult it is to enjoy your time out in public when you have SA. That is why I asked if you have someone you trust that you can go out with... But, I understand :). You know what you need to do, but go at the pace you need...and be patient with yourself.

Also, yes, long posts are hard to respond to. So, if you want a lot of responses, keep them short and to the point. I know that's hard when you're a perfectionist and trying to be clear!
Thanks. The pace i need is Ultra-speed
Still 8 months to go, can't be too patient :boogie
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
127 views...C'mon does no one believe in me.. :get
Feel free anyone to post some affirmation that i can reach my goals on my other thread
:agree

:thanks
 

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I think you can do it. You just have to
think so too. It helps if you say out loud everyday
I can do this. And think of yourself doing it. Say I can do this.
And believe yourself. Because you can :3 and why shouldn't you?
you have a right to and you can do it.
Exposure therapy for me is what helps most.

Also maybe you should not Time Yourself by saying 8 months.
Don't put so much pressure on yourself that way.
Just start doing stuff and stop thinking about doing it.
or planning it.
:3
 

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Place so much pressure on yourself you feel you may break at any moment unless you move in some way.

Work drastically and quickly.

Speed is essential.

Act, adjust, act, adjust.

Do not rest except to sleep and take periodic active breaks.

Change can happen in the blink of any eye. One perfectly timed decision can change your life.

Unless you suffer from a serious disorder (more serious than SA) there is no reason you cannot make this happen now. I've gone about it in the opposite way and gone nowhere.

Fight!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Place so much pressure on yourself you feel you may break at any moment unless you move in some way.

Work drastically and quickly.

Speed is essential.

Act, adjust, act, adjust.

Do not rest except to sleep and take periodic active breaks.

Change can happen in the blink of any eye. One perfectly timed decision can change your life.

Unless you suffer from a serious disorder (more serious than SA) there is no reason you cannot make this happen now. I've gone about it in the opposite way and gone nowhere.

Fight!
Thanks these are great words.
It's good to have this and the other thread around for when i start lazing off, then i'm gonna re-read my own posts and the replys.

I think it's a good thing i placed the 8 month deadline on myself, this way i have set exact goals and the pressure reminds me that i can't start slacking off.

Thanks thanks thank you guys

Today i'm going hardcore!
 

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Wow nice to know I'm in your sig. This is my real face btw.

Here is encouraging words: You're 17. This is going to sound cliche, but you are at the point where everyone, and I mean EVERYONE wants to be. Everybody wants to do their life over and choose this career, that person, moved to that place, etc...

Realize how lucky you are to be 17... young, bright, and full of options. If I was 17 again with what I know now, I would probably be extremely happy, successful, etc... by the time I hit 24. So take advantage of the opportunities now because it gets harder when you get older... way harder.

God, I sound like an old man lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Wow nice to know I'm in your sig. This is my real face btw.

Here is encouraging words: You're 17. This is going to sound cliche, but you are at the point where everyone, and I mean EVERYONE wants to be. Everybody wants to do their life over and choose this career, that person, moved to that place, etc...

Realize how lucky you are to be 17... young, bright, and full of options. If I was 17 again with what I know now, I would probably be extremely happy, successful, etc... by the time I hit 24. So take advantage of the opportunities now because it gets harder when you get older... way harder.

God, I sound like an old man lol.
Lol it's an honor to have you in my signature, it's just the whole combination mis-understanding and the double-sided sarcasm that made me laugh hard :b Don't take it personal, there's nothing wrong with your face :)

Great words, i didn't know it gets harder when you get older.. Well it makes sense because the longer I stay in bad habits how deeper they are hardwired in my brain, and how further my old good neural pathways are shrinking away..

Thanks Darth_Thomas! I will keep this in mind too so i don't slack off.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Place so much pressure on yourself you feel you may break at any moment unless you move in some way.

Do not rest except to sleep and take periodic active breaks.
One more thing, what do you mean with periodic breaks exactly? I think this is a crucial part, since after a while i really start to lose concentration on what i'm doing, and i feel it signifficantly lessens the effect of my self-therapy.
Like getting up and moving around the house for strict 15 minutes after one hour?

Or more like not doing any therapy for one week, after 2-3month of working?

Thanks
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I am already making some crucial steps in my recovery. I told one trusted family member that i have SA and cried it out. I already feel a little bit cured of my toxic shame. She told me it was OK, that she loves me, and will always be there for me and my recovery. I told her about my plans of doing CBT and such. Great :boogie

Now please people, can you keep continuing posting cheering-up messages, telling me i can definately do it, give me reasons why my goals are totally realistic, give me motivational/inspirational help and tips, etc.
I really appreaciate this kind of things, i hope i can get this thread a few page-long with motivation for me to keep going on. This really helps me in my day-to-day battle with SA. This may also be a good motivational thread for others to view.

For me this really works, because i am used of the internet "telling the truth". Everything that you guys tell me that i can do it, and how i should do it really boosts my confidence and motivation in this.:clap

:help

When i'm done with my SA-battle journey, i will definately post my results in order to help other young people like me overcome their SA! I promise when i totally overcame SA i will make a websitef dedicated for young people with SA.

C'mon 300 views and only 7 people reacting.
:thanks
 

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Dude, your posts are extremely energetic. I envy you. I'm sure you'll overcome your SA before long.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Dude, your posts are extremely energetic. I envy you. I'm sure you'll overcome your SA before long.
For some reason when i start doing something, i do it very focused, energized and accurate. Just need someone to kick me in the nuts/arse from sometimes to get me started.

Don't envy me, i'm sure you can overcome SA too. How old are you?

Feel free to post something, anyone:yes
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Today it's sunday, a day full of therapy for me. I'm getting serious with Dr Richards again :)
I'm soon starting this group cbt course near me. It's a weekly thing.

But what happened last night was a good step for me!

I was intimate with a girl and hooked up with her, great!!
It was partial because of me new more positive thinking,
but mainly because i was really drunk too lol.:banana

I hope i can keep seeing this girl as my girlfriend somewhat, but i don't think i can do it 100% sober. So how silly this may sound, the first few weeks i'm gonna see her again a little tipsy, while my therapy helps me more, i'm gonna start to see her sober.

Hope i can keep up!
I love the battle against my SA :)

Now write me something

:help
 
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