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especially responses from females. i need to know if anyone who have a father who neglects you. is always around but completely indifferent to you and never ask you how you are or what's going on with you. can't and doesn't even stand up/protect his own family.

he makes me feel so worthless. just because he's not physically or verbally abusive doesn't mean it makes him a good father. isn't emotional neglect abuse? i resent him so much because i feel like he blames me for the way i am and doesn't acknowledge that he is the cause of my problems. i wasn't born this way. it's his negativity/indifference that turned me into this melancholy/negative and bitter person.

am i just ungrateful? what about offsprings of older generations who's parents probably beat and neglected them and they still respect and care for their parents. is this just a first world problem?

please tell me i'm not alone. i'm in so much anguish. what's wrong with me for him to treat me this way?
 

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My parents disowned and kicked me out when I was 12, lived on my own ever since. Nothing I can do to impress them or make them accept me, though today they resent me even more since I make more money than them. Their loss since I really wanted to help them for a long time, now I've given up on them.
 

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Yes i know exacly how that is to have that and i dont understand why people make babies, if they show totally no interest in them. In my case i grew up in a family where i handeled everything on my own at a young age, my parents knew almost nothing about me, not about my grades at school, in which class i was, what problems i had, etc, its a very weird situation.
But i cant say it affected me that much that it is the cause for my depression, i accepted and learned to live with it and dont feel bitter about it. What really bothers me is that i have no people from the outside, if u do have them a boyfriend, or some good friends whatever, than at least u have a lot in life to be happy about. Life isnt perfect and we need to accept that and be happy with the things we do have.
 

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HeavyDirtySøul
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Your not alone. My fathers not exactly like yours but similar I think. Hes never taken an interest in me and doesnt know a single thing about me. Youll NEVER catch him saying anything positive about me unless its for his own personal gain. The only time he ever says something to me is when Im doing something wrong or should be doing something better. I think he is the biggest reason I have such a low self esteem. I try to avoid him as much as possible so I dont have to listen to him lecture me. Whenever hes home I try to stay in my room. I hope you feel a bit better. Just please dont blame yourself, its not your fault hes just terrible parent.
 

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My dad calls me ungrateful sometimes and I can't help but feel I was short changed by having him as my dad. He seems to really resent having spent so much money on me and my sister and on top of that he had the misfortune to marry someone who got very ill while the kids were still young. My mom got leukemia when I was 12 and my sister was 6. He has few friends and there was no extended family around to help out. I know it was tough on him and he feels that he did his best. He still holds a grudge against me because I stopped going to school and did not help around the house when my mom got sick. So my dad had to not only deal with a severely ill wife, he had to deal with a truant officers calling and threatening him and a sullen, depressed teenager hiding in her bedroom. I do feel bad about the not helping part.

After my mom died, when I was 17, he married the first old bag (16 years older than my dad) he could find and she moved into our house soon after. A few months later he got rid of the house because it had gone down in value and moved us all into my step-mom's one bedroom condo. The reasoning was that he couldn't afford to pay for a 2-bedroom apartment and my step-mom, sweety that she is, refused to pay half since she already had her own condo. So me and my sister were sleeping in the living room for nearly 2 years. During that time the old bag and my dad traveled all over Europe on several trips.

I moved out at 19 1/2 and then 6 months later moved to Japan. My poor sister suffered in the living room for a few more years. My dad is still pissed about how I didn't call from Japan and lied and said I would only be there for a month or two. I finally called after 3 months. The thing is, whenever I called him, he'd go on and on about his own life and only at the end of convo would he ask how I am. I'd say um...ok..., then he'd say, oh I have to go the telephone bill will get too expensive. You would think, he would ask me to come back and finish my education... but no..... No offers to help me out with school any further.

When I was younger I wasn't terribly happy having a sister but now I'm glad she's around. We can discuss just how screwed up our dad is and I can be more objective about the whole thing. I hope you are not still living at home. Moving out just makes things so much better, can finally have some distance from the whole situation.
 

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I'm a father and it pains me to read your stories, for what you all missed and in a strange way for what your father's missed.

While I'm a flawed parent, the one thing I'm proud of is the effort I make to be a positive part of my children's lives. My father probably had SA issues which he self medicated with alcohol and, well, he wasn't much of a dad I suppose. In a weird way, though, he made me a decent father by teaching me these negative lessons about how not to parent.

Sorry you feel this way. There's nothing like a daughter's love, and I really can't understand why men piss it away.
 
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