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Does it make you feel better if people pity you or feel bad for you? There may have been a time when I was younger I wouldn't mind it, but I actually have some self-respect and a bit of an ego now. So it would anger me if I ever felt someone pitied me, cuz that just means they think they're better than me. And I refuse to admit anyone is better than me. Joining a frat kinda hardens you, even though I still have social anxiety problems.

edit: I just re-read what I wrote, hope I didn't sound like an *** the way I worded it. It was meant to be a serious question.
 

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No.... Self pity is even worse.
 

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it used to make me feel better when i was younger. then it used to annoy me, made me feel like a burden to people (i felt bad for making them have such a down thought on their mind).. so it yea it made me feel little 'n weak for awhile, but now i can sorta joke around with it like if i get a hug i'll say something like "this isn't a pity hug is it?" and if they laugh a bit i'll follow with "do i get a pity kiss too?"... just playful things like that. of course it doesn't always work out that way lol.
 

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I don't like if they pity me, but I also hate it when they don't even believe I have a problem, they would just say something like ''that's not such a big deal, everybody is anxious infront of others sometimes, you just need to relax''
My point is I want them to know i'm in bad situation without being pitied. Like i don't pity myself (too much), i just realize this is really a crap...
 

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I get annoyed when people do the whole pity routine, like when they make it obvious they feel sorry for you. Do these people believe that treating you like a sad little child will make you feel good? That this sort of treatment will send you on your way to recovery? really? That's not even true understanding sympathy, that's just some way to make themselves feel like they are being a nice person, stooping down to your level or something.
This is why I try not to pity people, I try to symphathize with them, none of that false, self-righteous pity ****. At least I hope I don't come off this way when I do feel sympathy towards someone.

I think empathy is different than pity. Empathy is what I try to feel, I realy dislike how belittling people can get, and they call it sympathy, this is what I think of when I hear the word "pity". I'm getting stuck on the technicalities of the words now and I probably don't make much sense. Or I just have a weird sense of pity? mehh, rambling over :blank
 

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Full circle, new highway
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I would rather someone not make a big deal out of anything whether it is pity or praising. Sometimes I don't think that the praise is genuine and the pity seems like they are better than me; like a lot of people have said on here.

I have been able to mostly ignore what people say, keep my distance, and be happy being alone with my wife.

I have the kind of personality that is pretty even-tempered but when I interact with others I try to be really warm and nice. If the person is rude or obnoxious I make a sarcastic remark, or just try to get away from them.
 

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Sympathy and Empathy is different isn't it?
From what I understand,
Sympathy is "I feel sorry for you" "it must be so hard on you :(" (although they're quite possibly :) in their minds) and "poor pitiful soul" (eheh, disney reference)
Empathy is something like trying to get into the other's mind and understanding their point of view. And offering comfort without pity...

When I was little I did like the sympathy/pity because it was attention seeking behaviour. Now if anyone pities me in any circumstance, I'd pity them for having an ignorant/unopen mind. Doesn't do anything but it helps with coping.
 

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If by pity you mean being treated like your mentally retarded, yes i hate pity, its like looking at someone with a broken arm and assuming he cant walk or feed himself.
 

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I can honestly say I don't really mind now because I feel like people at least care about me. It depends who it's coming from...
 

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Pity=special treatment, kid gloves treatment whatever. Means you'll be condescended to and patronized. People usually wait for you to leave before they resume their normal straight talk.
 

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Right now my parents and family either pity me, or they outright ignore me as I lay on the couch. It's like they've stopped trying.

It's a terrible feeling, I agree.
 
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