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I have this exact same problem and know that the way to engage people is to speak confidently. But I have no confidence and, unlike some people, I can't even fake it, so I haven't been able to get round this yet. I find I focus all my energy on trying to maintain eye contact and appearing 'normal'!
I think i have the problem that people see me differently than the way i'm feeling sometimes.

For example, when i am feeling tense, i feel the need to defend myself, and so i walk/stand/move like i'm ready to fight. I've been told i "look confident" before, when i have felt the complete opposite!

Perhaps the aggressive stance sometimes looks like arrogance maybe? I dont know. What i do know is that its annoying when people assume how i feel, when they dont know AT ALL!

Plus i can be loud and talkative, but also very quiet. So i'm all over the place :|
 

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Yes, I have the same problem! People often say 'cheer up love, it might never happen' which is one of the most annoying things ever. Apparently I look miserable and annoyed most of the time, when all I'm trying to do is look calm!
The same with me apart from i'm trying to not get noticed when i'm walking, even though it draws attention. I guess it makes me feel a little bit safer if i'm tense, and "ready to fight"..

Thats a big issue for me. Safety. It always feels as if someone is "out to get me"
 
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