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I have this exact same problem and know that the way to engage people is to speak confidently. But I have no confidence and, unlike some people, I can't even fake it, so I haven't been able to get round this yet. I find I focus all my energy on trying to maintain eye contact and appearing 'normal'!
 

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I think i have the problem that people see me differently than the way i'm feeling sometimes.

Perhaps the aggressive stance sometimes looks like arrogance maybe?
Yes, I have the same problem! People often say 'cheer up love, it might never happen' which is one of the most annoying things ever. Apparently I look miserable and annoyed most of the time, when all I'm trying to do is look calm!
 
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