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Does anyone else fixate on peoples expressions as you talk to them? The barest glimmer of disinterest in another person really sends me off emotionally. It's so dumb, but I have trouble not overreacting.

I find that at the core of my SA is this statement, "No one cares what you have to say." And so, whenever I see anyone looking bored when I speak to them it's excruciating.

I wonder sometimes if that boredom doesn't have more to do with how I say things than what I say. I need to try to focus on making eye contact with people, speaking in engaging way that says subliminally, "You should really be interested in what I have to say."

Sometimes to help myself with this, I think something like "I am this persons best friend." Or I'll resolve to speak to someone as if they were a really good friend of mine. It's still really, really hard to keep this kind of attitude up though!

Does anyone else have strategies...mental mantras or other tricks that help them communicate more easily?
 

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I have this exact same problem and know that the way to engage people is to speak confidently. But I have no confidence and, unlike some people, I can't even fake it, so I haven't been able to get round this yet. I find I focus all my energy on trying to maintain eye contact and appearing 'normal'!
 

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Trust. I tell myself I trust this other person and if they were bored they'd just walk away. Based on that you can modify your personality to be anything you like. People will judge you no matter what you say or do. Its just the nature of life. Don't overvalue another mouthbreather's opinion; even if this post bored you it says little about me or you, all it says is your tired.
 

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I have this exact same problem and know that the way to engage people is to speak confidently. But I have no confidence and, unlike some people, I can't even fake it, so I haven't been able to get round this yet. I find I focus all my energy on trying to maintain eye contact and appearing 'normal'!
I think i have the problem that people see me differently than the way i'm feeling sometimes.

For example, when i am feeling tense, i feel the need to defend myself, and so i walk/stand/move like i'm ready to fight. I've been told i "look confident" before, when i have felt the complete opposite!

Perhaps the aggressive stance sometimes looks like arrogance maybe? I dont know. What i do know is that its annoying when people assume how i feel, when they dont know AT ALL!

Plus i can be loud and talkative, but also very quiet. So i'm all over the place :|
 

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I think i have the problem that people see me differently than the way i'm feeling sometimes.

Perhaps the aggressive stance sometimes looks like arrogance maybe?
Yes, I have the same problem! People often say 'cheer up love, it might never happen' which is one of the most annoying things ever. Apparently I look miserable and annoyed most of the time, when all I'm trying to do is look calm!
 

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Yes, I have the same problem! People often say 'cheer up love, it might never happen' which is one of the most annoying things ever. Apparently I look miserable and annoyed most of the time, when all I'm trying to do is look calm!
The same with me apart from i'm trying to not get noticed when i'm walking, even though it draws attention. I guess it makes me feel a little bit safer if i'm tense, and "ready to fight"..

Thats a big issue for me. Safety. It always feels as if someone is "out to get me"
 

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Trapped in my own head
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Yep, not only their facial expression, but EVERY little aspect of their body language. I also constantly monitor and analyze my own. I dedicate so much of my mental energy to it that I often can't think of what to say and completely lose track of what the other person is talking about. That's probably why it's much easier for me to communicate over IM or email.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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Yep, not only their facial expression, but EVERY little aspect of their body language. I also constantly monitor and analyze my own. I dedicate so much of my mental energy to it that I often can't think of what to say and completely lose track of what the other person is talking about. That's probably why it's much easier for me to communicate over IM or email.
I'm the same, complete over analysis of all body language, it' both draining & upsetting
 
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