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Hello,

I'm feeling frustrated. As a teenager, I was told I have something called social anxiety disorder. I responded by thinking it was just some made up bull****. I've always kind of thought that everybody has problems coping with life and given the opportunity, will latch on to somebody's diagnosis and start excusing away at why dealing with life is harder for them than it is for everybody else. I absolutely still believe that that is the nature of many of us, myself included. But with the logical processing aside, I still find that despite the facts that everybody I work with likes me, I get along with everybody I meet, and I'm respected and successful in the work I do, I find that I am unable to make friends. I have people I will text with, and ask to watch my dog if I should go on leave, but I will not hang out with people outside of work and organized functions. I am unable to participate in small talk, or personal conversations. I know that I am the sort of person that should be able to easily make friends and have other than just professional relationships with people. I am also married, and my wife is the greatest person that I share my simple existence with on this planet. The only problem I seem to have with her is that when I want to talk about how I feel, its fine. We'll have a conversation and discuss meaningful things, but when time passes and the same things come up in conversation again, she seems to be frustrated with the fact that I'm still dealing with the same thing we talked about last time. Also, when I just don't feel normal, she will assume its the same thing that has bothered me before. If I talk about how I feel, she later fixates on previous issues and tries to bring it back up, even when it, to me, is completely something aside. I don't know if I actually have a question or not, but I don't feel right, and am unable to resolve it in my head. It is persistent, overwhelming frustration. It results in depression usually lasting about 2-3 days, with a day or so being more positive, followed by a few more days of depression. If anybody actually reads everything I wrote, and responds, I'd be pleased, as I probably wouldn't read somebody else's rant if it ran this long. There is some additional stuff going on, the kind of stuff that would warrant substantial grieving from anybody, but I will hold that back for now, as the previously mentioned information existed before the recent grief came to be. Please let me know if I need more help than I can get by spewing thoughts on an internet forum.
 

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I read it, thanks for venting. Maybe you two could get some counseling together?
 
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