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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What are some reasons people might do this?

It happens when I first meet people, like right away, so it can't have to do with me holding eye contact too long.

It probably has to do with appearance, so be honest: has anyone ever looked so awkward or been just kind of unattractive that you didn't want to hold eye contact? I know for a fact I'm not attractive, and I would reeaallly rather know if it can get to the point where eye contact becomes an issue. Trust me I could deal with it at this point.

I've been told to smile more as well. Guilty as charged but I don't think that can be the main reason to not reciprocate eye contact.

Help an brother out?
 

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What are some reasons people might do this?

It happens when I first meet people, like right away, so it can't have to do with me holding eye contact too long.

It probably has to do with appearance, so be honest: has anyone ever looked so awkward or been just kind of unattractive that you didn't want to hold eye contact? I know for a fact I'm not attractive, and I would reeaallly rather know if it can get to the point where eye contact becomes an issue. Trust me I could deal with it at this point.

I've been told to smile more as well. Guilty as charged but I don't think that can be the main reason to not reciprocate eye contact.

Help an brother out?
haha I've never broken eye contact because a person was too ugly! That seems silly. As long as a person looks kind and approachable, I'd think people would make eye contact with them.

I'm saying this from a 3rd person point of view because I don't make eye contact, purely because I'm scared of people's facial expressions in reacting to stuff I say or questions I ask.

Maybe you just look too serious and it comes off as mean or intimidating? There was a guy I talked to once who would give me the "death stare" when i'd talk, and I'd get so freaked out, but found out he was just paying REALLY close attention to what I was saying.
 

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Maybe you look too intimidating? I would joke around and say something along the lines of, "Hey, is there something more interesting over there?" I usually go the route of saying something completely random or unexpected that forces them to look at me.
 

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Practicing smiling really naturally and make eye contact to see if there is a difference. It is really hard for me to hold eye contact if a person's body language is not neutral or welcoming.
 

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Alot of people, I think especially those with aspergers like my self find it really uncomfortable or just have a hard time giving eye contact. It's unsettling to me and part of it is fear of witnessing a negative reaction. It can also be intimidating. If I am comfortable with the person I can usually give decent eye contact, but with strangers it's really hard.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks all, I guess it really might be the intimidation thing or general awkwardness. People sometimes say I seem nervous, but I don't really feel that nervous.

It might just be habits that have carried over from when I was much more afraid of people. Something is sending the wrong message for sure. (I want to add that a few people DO reciprocate and these are usually very relaxed people)

You have no problem holding eye contact yourself?
No, I used to. Holding eye contact is natural now and it helps me read reactions more than anything. If someone is extremely attractive, I really can't look at them and that's the quickest way to make me awkward. That, and if someone seems distracted and they're not giving me their full attention.

It's a huge relief in itself that people took time to respond. Thanks again.
 
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