Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 20 of 22 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,191 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My friend was explaining to me how someone hurt her feelings by saying he preferred to be alone and not have too many friends. This apparently made her feel like he didn't want to be around her, so she just labeled him an a-hole and stopped talking to him completely. I wasn't really sure how to tell her I felt the exact same way he described, or even more so. I understand she probably misinterpreted it as him saying he didn't value their friendship, but I think she was a bit harsh. I mean, he obviously trusted her enough to open up and was basically just got a bunch of sh** for it.

Is she just overly sensitive or is that most people? I can't imagine what they think about me in that case.
 

·
SASsy
Joined
·
18,100 Posts
I think most 'normal' people consider loners to be weird or maybe even arrogant. That's a common reaction.
 

·
Looking for an argument
Joined
·
2,347 Posts
Some people do just prefer their own company, just like others feel the need to be around other people as much as possible. It seems in western culture its frowned upon to be an introvert, i say just be yourself whatever feels right for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
81 Posts
I think that anyone who is extroverted and social think they are above us and have control over us because they have a higher social status. They dont take time to consider that we maybe be going through problems and have a normal conversation with us. But once we beat our sa we'll have accomplished something that everyone takes for granite, making relationships even more satisfying. But only when you step up and have the courage to beat it once and for all. And you'll look back laughing at what you were and be able to live a long healthy life of love, friendship, and joy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,120 Posts
I don't know, but I still haven't told a long-term close online friend whom I met one day this summer that I didn't want to meet up again the next day because having someone who expected constant or even frequent interaction from me would be too demanding and ruin my last chance to enjoy myself at all before I left a city I'd likely never visit again. He ended up ruining my day (and any chance of seeing me again) anyway from a distance by sending me frequent texts repeatedly trying to get me to tell him where he should be in case I wanted to meet him. I can't imagine him not being hurt by it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,191 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I think that anyone who is extroverted and social think they are above us and have control over us because they have a higher social status. They dont take time to consider that we maybe be going through problems and have a normal conversation with us. But once we beat our sa we'll have accomplished something that everyone takes for granite, making relationships even more satisfying. But only when you step up and have the courage to beat it once and for all. And you'll look back laughing at what you were and be able to live a long healthy life of love, friendship, and joy.
Well said. I have noticed that most think they're above us, just in the way some will say stupid crap like "Why don't you ever talk?" and a lot of people try to make me some charity case and go around telling people I have no friends and it's just sooo tragic. :roll
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,954 Posts
How odd. And I get **** shoved in my face when I actually make effort to be an extrovert....drives people away for some reason :\ "Why do you always want to hang out?" "Why are you talking so much?"

*rolls eyes*

I do think your friend was being a bit harsh as well. If only people today were more open to understand others.
 

·
o_O
Joined
·
6,024 Posts
Yeah. I think some social/outgoing people assume that if someone says they want to be alone, they are hinting that they don't like them or something. They are used to "normal" people who enjoy socializing and can't believe that there are others out there that don't. Idk, but I often get the feeling that people might think I hate them because I don't talk to them, when in reality, I don't talk to anyone so it's nothing personal.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
12,909 Posts
Don't let it get to you. It's your friends fault she felt offended because she misunderstood what the guy said.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
302 Posts
Yeah its like when my friends want to hang out and I want to be alone, I can't tell them I just want to stay home. Instead I have to make up some elaborate excuse because they'll take it all personally when it has nothing to do with them. I just need time alone
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
114 Posts
I think it's healthy to have alone time. I also think it's damaging to relationships when it's believed that every single moment of ones life has to be spent with the other(s). It's kind of a balance. It brings to mind a notable author. He and his wife frequently take time apart from one another to have their own time and come back refreshed with themselves and toward one another. Smart. People who fear any kind of introversion are completely reliant on their attachments toward others. They fear to be alone in any way. They may fall to pieces. What they don't realize is it would improve their life. Just an opinion :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
375 Posts
Oh I've been called "stuck up" many a times just because I don't talk to many people. I think people make snap judgements like that because obviously they don't know or understand you. They'd rather judge you and write you off as an ******* than stop to think for even a second that maybe something else is going on. Unfortunately if you're not just like them, you're weird, an *******, or stuck up. I hate people sometimes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,723 Posts
The problem for me is that not only am I really quiet, but people say I always have a scowl on my face ( I don't think so). So when people are talking and I'm sitting their quietly, looking apparently angry or upset, people get mad because they think I don't want to be there or that I'm stuck up and don't want to talk to them.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
12,909 Posts

·
Brand New Day
Joined
·
151 Posts
maybe the extroverts are the one's actually more off balance because they thrive on the company/attention of others. some sort of dependence issues.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
yeah this has happened to me once. i told my friend i hate high school and will never go to the high school reunions and stuff. and then later she was ignoring me and i asked her why and she said because i dont like people, even though i never said that. anyway she kept ignoring me for a few days and because she was my only friend in gym (and i hate being alone in gym) i had to pretend like i was just kidding. as soon as i said that she stoped ignoring me. so yeah i guess they fear anything different like invtroverts.
 
1 - 20 of 22 Posts
Top