[acceptance]

I can't say that I blame them. Someone will try to start a conversation, and I just clam up because of this friggin anxiety. Naturally, they mistake my non responsive way as being unfriendly. Sometimes I just want to aplogize, and tell them I can't help it, but they probably wouldn't understand. Some people will try a second and even a third time to strike up a conversation, and once again I clam up. Usually, at this point, they write me off as an *******, and maybe even get a little nasty with me. This is one of the worst things about SA for me.

 

[shyvr6]

Yeah, it sucks.

 

[BeachGaBulldog]

Yeah, it is a misconception. People have thought that I was a snob, when nothing is further from the truth. I am just not a talker. If a person wants to incorrectly assume, thats their business.

 

[sadnalone]

i know how you feel. i have sometimes find myself just telling people that i am shy, but i just hate doing that.

 

[joe111]

This happens to me also I am actually very friendly.

 

[Just Lurking]

This is a frequent problem for me too. I think I do OK in coming off as somewhat friendly, but then I'm seen as uninterested/uninteresting which is equally as bad.

 

[russophile1977]

That happens to me a lot. I signed up on a social networking site and there's a place where members can leave references for you. So I went to a get-together once and almost every single reference that I got said that I was very shy/quiet at first, but then I opened up and was actually very friendly. It's the word "but" that bothers me the most. It makes it pretty obvious to me that shyness is considered a negative quality. I wish people would just accept me the way I am and not be so quick to judge me. But at the same time, I can understand completely why they'd think I was a snob. They probably think I don't want to talk to them, as opposed to not being able to because of my anxiety.

 

[IllusionOfHappiness]

Eurghhh. I hate being seen as unfriendly or something equally as untrue. I just don't know how to keep a conversation going a lot of the time mostly due to lack of experience and freezing up.

I had to work my way through a conversation with the hairdresser last night. It was alright I think, my jaw just clammed up a lot. But I'm guessing she noticed little of this, as she was doing my hair, not my makeup.

 

[Annyka]

that's so true. i used to wonder why people start always to hate me even when i haven't done anything else except being anti-social myself. then i heard that they thought i am some cold, unfriendly ******* who hates them. i was pretty shocked because i thought they were some cold, unfriendly asholes who hate me

 

[solasum]

Very true. I do the same thing. There was this girl today, and I couldn't tell if she was shy or unfriendly.

 

[Strategist]

I wish people would just accept me the way I am and not be so quick to judge me. But at the same time, I can understand completely why they'd think I was a snob. They probably think I don't want to talk to them, as opposed to not being able to because of my anxiety.

This has been bothering me a lot lately. What makes people think they can just judge somebody just because they seem some way? Are people so unable to think beyond appearances? :no

 

[climbingupthewall]

Yeah, I know for a fact people have mistaken me for an aloof and cold person. Sometimes they just see what they want to see. A lot of people lack insight into what makes people 'tick'. They really lack curiosity. They tend to see everyone as one-dimensional. People are so complex. Some more than others, but over-simplifying someone is something I really try not to do. You know what's really bad? A lot of psychiatrists over-simplify people by fitting them into a diagnostic criteria. You are no longer an individual but a mental disorder. After being labeled, all treatment options from then on are based on your label rather than your unique identity. You might have aspects of many disorders because they are just groupings of maladaptive behavior. Psychiatry is in it's infancy and it is far from a science at this point. As a matter of fact, entering a psychiatrists office without a good knowledge of medicine is risky business. Sorry, I'm a scatterbrain