[aloss4words]

I thought I would share this advice with you all because I think it has helped me. I just remind myself of it if there is something I am afraid to tell someone. If you are open with your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs then people will be open with theirs and you will become closer by sharing them.

 

[LostinReverie]

There are a few people, here and there, that can appreciate honesty, but many who do not.

 

[aloss4words]

Maybe only the good, sensible kind of people appreciate honesty then.

 

[PickleNose]

I guess it depends on the kind of honesty you're talking about. If you're having negative thoughts at a given time, it's probably best not to be honest about them because they will probably pass but the people who you would have communicated them to won't forget it once they hear it.

People are very unpredictable sometimes. I've always been pretty honest with people but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere. Quite a few times, I think I'd have been better off if I'd just not said anything.

 

[Jeff]

I thought I would share this advice with you all because I think it has helped me. I just remind myself of it if there is something I am afraid to tell someone. If you are open with your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs then people will be open with theirs and you will become closer by sharing them.

When you say 'be honest'...do you mean sharing your feelings with people? (opening up to people?). Or do just mean not being fake? Please explain.

 

[LostPancake]

i love honesty also. i do get the feeling that not every body else does though.

 

[aloss4words]

When you say 'be honest'...do you mean sharing your feelings with people? (opening up to people?). Or do just mean not being fake? Please explain.

Yeah, I meant like opening up to people. I didn't mean being honest with no purpose like in insulting someone.

 

[getGrid]

People find it very attractive when you aren't ashamed or scared of your own feelings. When you hold yourself with confidence.

But opening up too much (verbally), this is a thing which may scare some people. With some people you want to share your inner thoughts, but with others it is not so good idea.

 

[MissMay1977]

I have found the more I share about myself - the more the other person shares and we can talk about common things.

 

[alohomora]

This is actually good advice. I wanted to start a thread about it. I think I used to be very perplexed by how people behaved because I was always trying to find a "code of conduct" and people would say unpredictable things that didn't seem to consistently follow any particular social rule. I started to realize that they were just being very aware of how they were feeling/thinking and expressing themselves genuinely. I've tried to become more genuine in public now and it works. Instead of focusing on what I "ought" to say, I focus on what I genuinely feel like saying. There ARE exceptions of course: if the person does not deserve your honesty, is not in the right state of mind to hear it, or when you feel very negative. I usually keep negative comments to myself because they're usually the result of irrational emotional feelings anyway.

 

[jimity]

I found the more I opened up the less other people did. It just made them feel uncomfortable and awkward and I got weird looks and laughs.

 

[jimity]

If you're having negative thoughts at a given time, it's probably best not to be honest about them because they will probably pass but the people who you would have communicated them to won't forget it once they hear it.

That includes negative thoughts about yourself. People just think I'm a loser and a ****head and join in on the banter if I put myself down.

 

[Cornerstone]

i'm honest (unless in emergencies) because it makes everything so uncomplicated. If you lie, you have to remember all those constructions, if you never lie, you never have to worry.

 

[Mracless]

I don't find this to be true at all.
People tend to prefer falseness. They aren't prepared to accept my negative and depressing personality. They want me to cover it up with positivity and pretend everything is good.

I have to pretend to be something I'm not if I want people to like me.
But I'm not willing to do that. I'm open and honest, and thusly have few friends.

 

[borbiusle]

I've always been a brutally honest person and have been labeled as patronizing, arrogant, and a "know-it-all". I just don't have it in me to lie to people without feeling immense guilt.

 

[NoName99]

I love it when people are honest about their feelings (while being polite and respective of others), because it means they trust me and feel comfortable enough around me to open up. And in turn I too become more trusting of them and relaxed. By contrast, when people put on their "tough guy" or "tough girl" mask just to give others the impression they're something they're not, it makes me feel out of place. Like it's all an act... and it is. It's very difficult or near impossible for me to get close to people who are constantly pretending to be someone else. Most of the time I don't even want to.

 

[Pialicious88]

if people liked honesty i'd have a million friends lol

 

[Yogurt]

I'm scared of being honest with people about myself. I'm afraid of the reactions I'm going to get. One time this girl I used to work with always invited me out to go partying with her and her friends and I always made up excuses to not go. Then one day I just straight up told her that I'm not really the partying type and she looked at me like =O. I Guess she figured I'm young so I should be partying and drinking all the time. I kinda felt like a loser but she never bothered me about going partying again. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing...

 

[NoName99]

Being honest just means you don't put on a fake persona, not that you have to tell your every thought or secret. Little white lies or omissions are allowed. If you call everyone on their every little defect, it's not going to be easy making friends.

Not that I'm an expert in these matters, of course...

 

[borbiusle]

Being honest just means you don't put on a fake persona, not that you have to tell your every thought or secret. Little white lies or omissions are allowed. If you call everyone on their every little defect, it's not going to be easy making friends.

Not that I'm an expert in these matters, of course...

Darn, my personality pretty much revolves around being competitive and calling people out on their BS. I might be screwed lol.