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I try to force myself to talk to people. Only thing is i have no interest in cheap, meaningless talk. I just think "what the hell do i say now so they won't get bored?"

Meanwhile, i am incredibly bored of them!

I try to sound interested by laughing along with people, raising the tone of my voice to edge out the sound that i am curious and interested about what they are saying. Also, generally agreeing with whatever they say. Like "oh yeah, that's great".
But my mind is zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz the whole way through.

How can i be interested in people? How do i stop worrying about what i need to say next?

Any ideas??
 

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It might be a matter of high expectations.
It might also be a matter of depression.
It might even be a matter of condescending behavior for all I know.
Could be the rationalization of the inability to socialize or the lack of social skills.
It could be the projection of perceived personal inadequacies.
Hell, it could be a byproduct of worrying too much about what you need to say next, which makes you feel like you have to keep others entertained but at the same time it makes you think others are getting much more than you are out of social interactions for the same reason.

But I don't know your situation. It could be many things.
Just keep in mind that it's not all about others entertaining you constantly or about you entertaining others. You don't have to have something witty to say all the time, and constantly worrying about what to say or what is going to be your next line is what might be taking the fun out of social interactions because it makes them feel like a chore.

Sometimes it's better to just be a good listener, which can be problematic if you feel the constant pressure of having to say something that is both interesting and related to what the other person is saying.
If you don't have anything to say but the other person does, just listen and try to limit your usage of "oh yeah" and "that's great" because those might make you sound condescending. If you try to say something about what the other person is saying just because you think you have to in order to keep the conversation going, it will sound kind of forced, so avoid that too.

At the end, all I can say is that you can't learn to be interested in something or in someone, so what will help you the most in this case is figuring out what are the real reasons why you find people boring and what you expect to get out of them. Is it a fear? Is it a worry? Is it the wrong people? Is it having nothing to say? Is it having something to say but being unable to say it in social situations?
 

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Bounty hunter
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I think everyone is boring. Thats one of many reasons I cannot socialize. (I'm picky with my friends, and I toss friends away if they do not fit my "standards") When people yap to me about TV programs, media, or celebrities, I want to slap them. When people gossip about their friends' lives, relationships, backstab stories, etc. I tell them flat out "I couldn't care less".

When I talk, I either go on nerd rants about games, or talk about strange and uncommon topics. Like say, the mating rituals of a tortoise. People are very weirded out by me.
 

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A lot of people truly are boring, or they seem to be because they talk about the same old topics because they know they're tried and true. Maybe you could find some way to seek out interesting people? Join something where people are interested in the same things you are, and you'll be able to talk about what you actually want to. The only reason you should talk to someone who bores you to death is to get to know them better, to see if they really are interesting.
 

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If you really think people are boring it should take the pressure off. Do you think you are interesting? If so than maybe they need you more than you need them. Like someone else mentioned try to make things more interesting if other people aren't doing it first.
 

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Focus on accepting the person.
Find something you really like about them: maybe their interesting necklace, funny laugh, unique voice.

I have the same problem as you recovery122 - but I see that I'm in a mind trap when I speak to people that tells me "that person is a threat to you" when in reality they aren't.

Try to focus on accepting the person as they are, focus on trying to accept and love them & this will translate to yourself.

:-D
 

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Anthropophobia
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I feel this way most of the time. I feel that many people are boring to me. When I'm having conversations I usually worry about what to say next, if I'm making the correct facial expressions, if my eyes aren't positioned looking at the right places, if they think I sound stupid. Since most of the conversations with boring people are boring, I worry if they can tell I'm uninterested. I really hate most things most people talk about, like pop culture and drama. I hate how socializing is so glorified in mainstream culture and I can't voice my opinion on "most people are too boring" anywhere else.

I don't have a desire for human contact most of the time. I usually don't see any point. I'm not interested. But there is a very good thing about this trait I hold. It allows me to whole-heartedly value the people who I find very interesting. It means that the people who I devote my interest and time to are special and not just another number. When I'm truly interested in talking to someone that's the main time I will enjoy socializing. I believe this is how many of us people are, we will put all value to those who matter. It's actually a warm trait to have :)
 

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I feel that most people bore me. The very few I find interesting seem worlds apart from me and I seldom get a chance to get to know them, partly because of SA but also because we have too little in common. Most people do bore me and when someone tries to talk to me or be my friend I have to act fake and like I care, so I don't offend them. I don't know how I'll ever get friends if the people that approach me, I have little desire to actually get to know, and my head is always stuck in the clouds fantasizing about having relationships with those who are far from reach and gone from my life.
 

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SA PhD
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I completely agree with OP. I feel the exact same way, 100%, I just can't stand most people. I hate being in a group. One or two friend is good, but when it comes to a larger group I suck big time and most of the times I will be trying to be part of that group and at the same time standing isolated and feeling ignored. Crazy life.

To me most of them sound like either too bull**** or too high level or "too lively" for my level.
 

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Pain in butt
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Most people talk about themselves or other people.
the same boring subjects like their cat, their kids, their job (oh gyod, PLEASE have an interesting job if you talk of it) or something they saw on TV, yeah, pretty mundane.

Now I do watch TV, I have one in the bedroom. I watch it gather dust. I don't know if it works or not.

But yeah the typical subjects of chat like family, work, their kids, it is pretty boring. I don't care if Jane's husband got a promotion at work. I don't care about their new mini-van that holds their 5 kids.

Try this - try talking about ideas. Deep stuff. People get confused by that.

Here though is the MOST torturous in mundane subjects - when someone wants to show you pictures of their vacation. All 30 gigabytes worth. "Here is John and the kids sitting on a rock, here I am drinking a pepsi thru a clown straw we found at sea world". Someone PLEASE shoot me! AAAHHHHHHH!
 

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Your Assumptions
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Perhaps you could try going on about what interests you a bit. That's what I do.

I mentioned to one therapist that small-talk didn't interest me, not even expressing it as strongly as you are, and she barked, Are you superior. Yeah lady, that's my personality through and through; got me pegged; also notice I'm sarcastic?

Try asking deeper questions and they might end up telling you their secrets, which happens to me. Not taking risks is probably a large contribution to what makes the conversation boring. If you're holding back too much, it's not going to make for great communication and will be stagnant. Self-disclosure is also necessary.
 

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My problem is not finding people boring but just my ability to talk them. People rarely open up to me, so I don't really get to know if they are boring or not. The things that pop up in my head that I could talk about are what I find boring. If you live an interesting life, have a lot of stories to share, and have commonalities it is way much easier to talk to people (most SAers lack all of these). I think this is the main reason why most SAers have crap social skills.
 

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Most people talk about themselves or other people.
the same boring subjects like their cat, their kids, their job (oh gyod, PLEASE have an interesting job if you talk of it) or something they saw on TV, yeah, pretty mundane.

Now I do watch TV, I have one in the bedroom. I watch it gather dust. I don't know if it works or not.

But yeah the typical subjects of chat like family, work, their kids, it is pretty boring. I don't care if Jane's husband got a promotion at work. I don't care about their new mini-van that holds their 5 kids.

Try this - try talking about ideas. Deep stuff. People get confused by that.

Here though is the MOST torturous in mundane subjects - when someone wants to show you pictures of their vacation. All 30 gigabytes worth. "Here is John and the kids sitting on a rock, here I am drinking a pepsi thru a clown straw we found at sea world". Someone PLEASE shoot me! AAAHHHHHHH!
TL;DR: How boring you find a subject depends on personal taste, not on whether the subject is objectively boring.

I think the problem in this case might have something to do with being unable to make meaningful connections with people. "Unable" might not always be the right word, considering the fact that one is not always actively trying to connect with people. But still, sometimes the reason we consider the things other people do to be boring might be that we don't have a deep connection with the person and we might not have anything in common.

So people are not boring because they're boring; they're boring TO YOU because YOU find them boring. It's a matter of personal taste and the importance and meaning we give to a person or to the personal relation we have with the topic being discussed.

Here is an example of that: You know how many people go to Hawaii each year? They always bring back home their ****ing chocolate covered macadamias, the same pictures, and their stories about the beaches and the surfing... Boring, right? Well, for the person who went there and the friends to which he's telling how everything went this might be some fascinating ****! You might roll your eyes and think there's nothing special about going to Hawaii because at this point it is sooooo mundane... but that's because you are not invested in the person and you have no genuine interest in what the person has to say about his experiences.

The same thing goes for the weather, women, drinking, star trek, children... Some people find that stuff fascinating and can't wait to tell someone else about what their favorite subject, and you also have people who can't wait to hear how someone else experienced their favorite thing.

Every topic has been discussed ad nauseum, so someone's lack of interest is not a problem caused by the topic being discussed or the people who are discussing; The problem is the personal lack of interest itself.

This is why depth has nothing to do with making something interesting, because for a subject to be interesting you still need to care enough about it and know enough about it.

What should we discuss? The politics of Romania? South Korean obsession with western RTSs? The merits of humanistic psychology? History of conflict in the middle east? Ideas to end conflicts in Africa? Those might be deep... but you still have to know and care enough about them. Some people just had their first child, or watched the season finale of their favorite show, so they will talk about what they know and what they care about.

Who knows, maybe the subject might be of interest, but you might not like the person discussing it because he's boring, which brings everything back to taste.
 

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In my experience some people are not as boring or as intellectually/socially inept as they first appear and others are the opposite which makes people very difficult to read/understand. I think that's part of the reason why I'm kinda afraid them. Especially since they have the power to mess you up if they so desire, regardless of their abilities/personalities.
 
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