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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello,

I've never met anyone else with SA and I have never admitted to anyone that I've had it other than a therapist and that was within the past 6 months and a complete waste of time. From reading and this website I see a lot of people either have no friends and it is really debilitating. Although when I was in high school it was pretty bad and even college, I still managed life and had some friends. I still felt incredibly lonely and never had a BUNCH of friends but I had friends and recently I have been going out relatively frequent (maybe every other weekend) considering I am an introvert anyway on top of my SA.

Anywaaaay, my point is I can pass for "normal" in that most people would never guess I had SA unless it's a really good friend and they call it shy or reserved lol No one would suspect I've never been in a relationship etc because I am attractive? Although I do not think I am attractive... I know I am not ugly but I guess I do have low self-esteem/self-worth so I do not actually believe I am attractive although common sense tells me I am okay (I've been given enough compliments I guess just not by people who matter and when I do find these people attractive I convince my self they feel sorry for me or just want to have sex with me)

So would you say you could pass for normal with people who do not know you very well or even those that do know you pretty well? I know I don't share to much about myself or I lie so people assume I have a fulfilling life with the combination of seeing me do "normal" things often enough.

Hope you bothered reading this, if not whatevers
 

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Welcome, Killj0y! :)
 

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yea i can pass for normal thank God. i also kinda joke about my nervousness for some things, and most people i tell, can somewhat relate. they dont know the full extent of it though.

the only ones that know, are my little brother, my mom, and my really really good friend(she has it too)
 

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I've done a pretty good job coping with my SA, but I don't think I've ever "passed". My awkwardness is really obvious and always has been. Once I get to know someone really well I can be really outgoing with that person but it takes me a long time to get to that place with anyone and I still sometimes have awkward moments even with those people. I've never really done a good job blending in, but I've never really tried all that hard either.
 

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All of this sounds too familiar...those that don't know I suffer from SA think I'm snooty or stupid...I have NO friends, only family and that includes my husband, three kids and two dogs. I was brought up in a very religious environment, should have been a preacher's kid for that matter, and was never allowed to go to parties, dances or even my PROM!! I can't imagine thinking this was a good way to bring up a girl. I didn't even have a sister to share my feelings with, I have four brothers and am a middle child, my mother always acted liked she hated me and really can't remember having a conversation with her growing up that didn't involve what chores I was to do...I'm glad I didn't treat my kids the same way, but now I lack the social skills to even try to fit in
 

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I'm excellent at faking it. Usually.
 

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it's tough...feeling like an outsider all of the time!! Just believe that you have as much to offer as anyone else out there...I listened to a woman talk about her hangnail for about 10 minutes, so I know I have plenty to contribute!!
 

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i know exactly what you mean! with my friends i can be very, very outgoing and when i come out to my close friends as having SAD and being an introvert they say "what? that's impossible, not you". sometimes it can be very invalidating to hear people say that since its something i struggle with like every single day and it rlly sucks
 

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I always used to pass for normal, most of the time. People just thought I was just a little quiet, but I would "break out of my shell". My SA has gotten worse over time, and now more people that don't know me think of me as odd... or rather, they don't know what to make of my awkward quietness. So I don't totally pass as normal anymore, but a lot of people still don't notice anything. Anxiety is such an inward feeling, so people on the outside often can't tell what you feel on the inside. That's what makes it so hard to deal with
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
it's tough...feeling like an outsider all of the time!! Just believe that you have as much to offer as anyone else out there...I listened to a woman talk about her hangnail for about 10 minutes, so I know I have plenty to contribute!!
Yessss! I always almost always feel like I am on the outside, even when surrounded by people that I've known for years or people that are considered good friends. I mean just this weekend I had a school volunteering event for grad school and when I was with people that are friends, once I was with more than one person I felt like a third wheel. I feel like I am often left out of conversation, or the last person to be looked for when you are waiting up for friends when walking together somewhere. It's stupid little things that build up and add to me feeling like a complete loser. I know it could be worse where I had NO friends but I still feel like an outsider and extremely lonely... Siiigh

Thanks everyone else for sharing! I am glad other people can relate. This sucks, if only there was a way for us to be friends in real life/gravitate towards each other lol

I know people def get the perception that I am a b*tch bc I am quiet and not the most social at events where I don't know people. Sucks.
 
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