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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi

Looking for help...anywhere! My 22 year old son is housebound with SA, hasn't left the house for about 6 months. He's depressed and sometimes self medicates by drinking, and sits at his computer all day. It began when he was bullied at school. He had some help then and improved for a while, but then dropped out, and got steadily worse.He is so lonely. He won't go out for any counselling - or anywhere else- or go on medication-he`had a bad experience with SSRI's. I'm afraid to be too 'strict' with him, he might only get more depressed, but I know we are enabling him.How do I help him...I'm so afraid for him ( only child.)Thanks.
 

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Tell him he either seeks a therapist or he has to move out of the house. My parents enable me. I'm in very similar situation. I would love to speak to a therapist but my pride keeps me from it. If you give him no other options then he will feel like his pride isn't being damaged. I dunno that's just how I feel. He might feel like a therapist won't help him but it's always nice to tell someone how you are feeling inside.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
parent of housebound SA

Hi

Thank-you. That is basically what my doctor suggested. But I'm afraid it will make him more depressed and desperate...he tried something 4 years ago. I can't risk an ultimatum. Even encouraging him to go out seems to backfire. How should I even talk to him?
 

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I wouldn't encourage him to go out because everytime my parents say that it just angers me. He's 22, he probably wants to be independant or at least feels that he should be independant by now. Even forcing him into his own apartment might be a good option. I get sick of my parents pretty easily lately just because I don't like them being around 24/7, so maybe the apartment might be a good option. I can't offer you anything else as that's all I can think of and don't want to suggest something that might harm your son. Hopefully others will have more insight into the matter.

PS. not many people read the first step section so if you're looking for advice put it in the "coping with social anxiety" section :)

Good luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Hi


Thanks again for your quick reply. I know what you are saying is true. We are renovating part of our house to make a small apartment for our son. I know, as a parent, almost everything we do seems annoying to our kids, especially when they are older but stuck in a rut from age 16. I try not to 'nag' him but his dad is getting impatient, and they have had some issues. You seem like a very nice,sensitive, young man, a lot like my son...I guess that would probably be the case here! Re: where to post`- I'll try to figure it out, guess I'm a real 'noob' as my son says!Thanks!
 

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Would your son be open to joining this forum, himself? I dunno if he has online friends but talking to other people who know how he's feeling might help. Certainly can't hurt...
 

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Welcome SAMOM. I feel for you. Check out some of the other forums on this site. For example there's a 30+ forum. Maybe the years of experience represented there will help. Stick with us a while and I think you'll find some folks who can be helpful, at least supportive.
Street Owl
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks T.C.


He may already have joined, or at least 'lurks', because he knows it exists. He mostly goes on Facebook, but doesn't have any face to face friends...although they have often encouraged him to go out with them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks everyone....it is a very welcoming place. I wish,wish,WISH I knew the words...magic words...to help my son overcome this. I was also very SA when I was young, but I remember at around his age just being disgusted with myself for letting life slip by because I was afraid of how I was percieved...I began to be proud of my own uniqueness, even if others saw me as odd or awkward...and realized most folks are pretty wrapped up in their own problems to spend their time judging others...and if they do, they're the ones with issues!!!Just get out there and find your niche!!!....but I know,easier said than done,so we go on,day by day, hoping,hoping.....
 

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Welcome, SAMOM! :)
 

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Hey SAMOM welcome. :hyper
 
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