I started to think about my place in this world and it really got me depressed. I am 28 years old and my SAD has destroyed my life up to this point. I have gotten average to low grades throughout my educational experience through college. I never joined any clubs nor participated in any extracurricular activities. I haven't had a single friend for 10 years (although I have had 3 girlfriends during this period). I wanted to be enthusiastic and go the extra-mile at work but I just did not have the brain energy to do so. As you probably know, being completely self-conscious all the time puts tremendous strain on the brain. My father and girlfriend has been having to support me financially and emotionally for long stretches of time. I have been thinking about my place in this world. What am I doing here? What's the advantage? All I do is consume and not produce. I take but don't give anything back. How can anyone live their life without being able to have relationships with others? I hear that the humans are social animals. We all depend on one another to get through life. We need contacts to advance in business. We just need other people in our life to give us some help. But, I am so damn scared of people! My brain screams to run away whenever I am around people. If I cannot get comfortable and lower the intensity of my fear response then I will die a failure; a waste of space. That is my greatest fear. This is my motivation. Learn to take back control over my fear or die. No, I don't mean suicide if I fail, by the way. I just wanted to get that off my chest.