I dread being laughed at. Not in a good natured, harmless way (I find that I can laugh at myself), but in a malicious way. I used to get picked on a lot from childhood onwards and a lot of that was either verbal abuse or malicious teasing.
I feel so uncomfortable when people around me are laughing. It can be one or more people. I hate that laughter sounds so sinister to me. Does laughter not bring normal people joy? I always feel as though people are laughing at me even if I know that they're not even looking my way. Of course, when they are looking my way while they laugh, it makes me really anxious. I know that there is nothing physically wrong with me, I dress well, I have good hygiene, I'm attractive and I do not behave in a way that will make me stand out.
I've begun to wonder if because of my SA my anxiety or discomfort may be apparent in my facial expression or body language and if this may be amusing to others? I do admit that I would not be amused if I knew or thought that I may be making someone uncomfortable. In my experience, people seem to become amused at other's fears or misfortunes. So how do I know for sure that others aren't laughing at me and how do I just stop caring and feeling so self-conscious? Any suggestions would be appreciate because I'm sick of feeling this way.
I feel so uncomfortable when people around me are laughing. It can be one or more people. I hate that laughter sounds so sinister to me. Does laughter not bring normal people joy? I always feel as though people are laughing at me even if I know that they're not even looking my way. Of course, when they are looking my way while they laugh, it makes me really anxious. I know that there is nothing physically wrong with me, I dress well, I have good hygiene, I'm attractive and I do not behave in a way that will make me stand out.
I've begun to wonder if because of my SA my anxiety or discomfort may be apparent in my facial expression or body language and if this may be amusing to others? I do admit that I would not be amused if I knew or thought that I may be making someone uncomfortable. In my experience, people seem to become amused at other's fears or misfortunes. So how do I know for sure that others aren't laughing at me and how do I just stop caring and feeling so self-conscious? Any suggestions would be appreciate because I'm sick of feeling this way.