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That doesn't mean I am immune to shyness online and I certainly don't become a social butterfly but I think online is the best representation of how I would be without social anxiety that I can come up with.

There are two reasons for it.

1) The other person cannot hear my voice and thus cannot pick up on any lack of confidence on my part.

2) I have more time to think of what to say.

What my social problems really come down to I think, is the fear that my lack of confidence will come across in my voice. My voice will be shaky, weak or I will stumble over words. This happens to me a lot when I get socially anxious.

My other problem is, my mind freezes when it's my turn to speak and I cannot think of anything intelligent or insightful to say. As soon as I walk away from the situation, I will often realize what I should have said, but I don't ever seem to be able come up with it on the spot. Even in rare situations where the right concept to express comes to my mind, I tend to express it awkwardly with poor wording, damaging the impact of my comment through poor delivery. Essentially, I have no charisma.

It's so frustrating to be this way and not be able to overcome it. Online I dont have a problem. I can say anything I want without worrying my voice will give my lack of confidence away (thus giving me confidence) and I have ample time to think and revise my wording for a smooth delivery. I am convinced that if all human social interaction was done online, I would have a normal social life. Sure, I would still be a rather quirky and unusual personal person, maybe regarded as weird and differing from the mainstream but none of that would be a problem as long as I was comfortable with it. It's only a problem in real life because it tends to contribute a lot to my real problem which is lack of confidence.


Is anyone else like this?
 

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It kind of depends for me on the type of online socializing, I'm a bit better on forums like this because nothing is in real time, there are no socials cues to hit, when you're posting, you're not having to slot your voice into a discussion with other people, you can take as long as you want to think about what you're trying to say without looking stupid for taking too long, or trying to rush it out because you feel everybody is waiting for you to say your piece so that the discussion can move on.

Real time chat is another matter entirely, I'm virtually just as bad with that as I am real life.

The thing is, I'm mostly ok dealing with people when I've got an objective. I just can't socialize, I'm pathologically phobic of connecting with people.

My worse form of communication is telephone, can't stand it, I'd prefer a full on face to face discussion with somebody than talking to them over the telephone.
 

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More or less. I've read in Reader's Digest a long time ago that "online, people usually say and do things they would never EVER say and do face to face." And I find that true.
 

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More or less. I've read in Reader's Digest a long time ago that "online, people usually say and do things they would never EVER say and do face to face." And I find that true.
^Agree. I'm actually way more talkative through texting than I am online. I'm not sure why. But even on this forum, I get anxious when messaging people sometimes.
 

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Yes sas forum would never work if it wasn't anonymous, people would be too scared to talk with one another. It's a good thing imo.
 

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I dunno... I kinda get anxious talking to people online too, especially if it's something like an IM. If it's a forum or talking through email where I have plenty of time to think up what I'm going to say, then I'm mostly okay.
 

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I dunno... I kinda get anxious talking to people online too, especially if it's something like an IM. If it's a forum or talking through email where I have plenty of time to think up what I'm going to say, then I'm mostly okay.
I agree with you :D I'm fine on things like forums, but IM is another story.
 

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I am the exact way, except I don't care if people hear my sexy voice. Online, there is absolutely no problem at all, AT ALL. I can say anything to anyone or talk to anyone. I can say something like, oh hey. I tried to wank off this morning but my cat was on my bed, so no dice. But IRL there is just no way to talk to people.
 

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I am the polar opposite. I find myself to be much more anxious in this medium than I am in real life. It is much more difficult to read other's through a textual medium than it is face to face, and I cannot convey myself without being misperceived online more often than not.
 

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I used to be that way. I look back on posts I made online and journal entries I wrote for the Internet around 2000-01 and I come across as nearly histrionic compared to now; now I'm incredibly subdued compared to then. I was REALLY outspoken on forums and would be on there chattering for hours, back and forth with others; I replied to e-mails promptly and indepth; I was very sociable and comfortable and eager to communicate.

Then I went through rejection and criticism and ignoring and even stalking/harassing and deliberate trolling...over and over...though it was the rejection and ignoring that hurt far more than the rest.

Now I'm painfully anxious online too. :sigh Even with my online friend, it takes me weeks to even read her e-mails, much less reply to them. I thought maybe if I made myself face these fears enough times they'd start to diminish, but I've been trying that since coming back to SAS this past May and...no luck. If anything I feel even more anxious since my avoidance tends to offend people. I just had so many horrible experiences p*ssing people off and getting ignored that I feel like I'm permanently damaged.

I have no opportunity for IRL social contact even if I did want it, so I wish I could at least be non-anxious online like I used to be, maybe then I'd feel somewhat content and not so lonely/worthless. I envy people who aren't anxious online. I miss those days. :(
 

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I think it goes without saying that MOST people in general are more comfortable getting thoughts and feelings across online than in person. Just look at how many people on here of all places have little issue saying even some of the more taboo things for discussion on this very site.

Of course, any feedback you receive online can be anxiety inducing enough, so I'm implying that there isn't at least a degree of anxiety when people "socialize" online, either.
 

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I'm much better typing. Hate my voice, get nervous and can't think of witty replies fast enough. Typing gives a few extra precious sec/min/hrs, + editing capabilities. I can bring it and even flirt easily, which I can't do via speaking. That being said, I don't like online dating sites, because it seems to attract people that aren't comfortable typing as a form of communicating, like jock/party types vs. suave typing geeks.

I just realized that people typing poorly and sounding like idiots is exactly how I feel like I come across when speaking.
 

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Of course you're more confident online than off - how could you NOT be? You're protected by the comforts of anonymity through a computer; allowing you to be the biggest douche with no consequences at all. 99% of things said online would never be said face to face - and that's why we all love, and hate the internet.
 
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