[sabueed]

Okay, after a long time I finally decided to give online dating a go. I have an insane fear of rejection, so I messaged three girls every few days. Anyways, I have asked out 25 girls total, 7 replied. Some of the 7 stop messaging me back after a while, and the rest give me their email address, and they never message again after I email them. I went pretty far with one of them, and I got her AIM, and i chatted with her for many hours a day for like a week, but she kept delaying our meet up. She also has strict parents that give her an 8 oclock curfew. I think its because she is middle eastern.

Anyways is it normal to get rejected like 25 times online, or is it just me. I can't really handle any more rejection. I don't want to message 100 girls and never meet up with any of them, its a big blow to my self esteem already. It doesn't help that all the girls I message reply very selectively ( that,s what it says when I click the button to message them ), but I cant help it that I am attracted to pretty girls. What do you guys think.

Oh by the way, I miss SAS, glad to be back.

 

[SAgirl]

Yes, it's normal. I would consider my sister quite pretty and she gets rejected all the time. Beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder.

My sister has talked to probably 50 guys and rarely have they stayed interested.

Plus, all the guy's wanting a booty call ruin it for all the guy's sincerly wanting to find someone.

 

[rdrr]

Women who are on online dating sites have all the power; you can't take getting rejected to heart. If anything dating this way might have more of a success to meeting someone because you use the internet as a buffer. But I think since some guys are 'creepers' on these online sites it ruins the image of the good guy just looking for someone to connect with, I agree w sagirl. Also some girls on there just place a profile on there and not take it seriously; they probably date mainly outside of online... Basically you can only use it to your advantage, but don't think too much into online dating.

 

[STKinTHEmud]

Believe it or not, 7 out of 25 is pretty good. Back when I was active on Okcupid, I got a grand total of 3 replies out of 20 messages sent (I counted) and none of them were really interested (of course, I don't look particularly good in photos). I felt the same way you did about those rejections. In fact, I felt so bad about myself that I deleted my Okcupid account and attempted to crawl back within my "I don't really need a relationship" mode. Of course, that mode doesn't work either.

I think the key is to not expect much from Okcupid. Think of it as a small supplement to your potential dating pool rather than the end-all-be-all of your romantic life. And try not to take rejection personal. You are much different in person than you are online, so it's really not you they're rejecting, it's what little they can glean from your online persona. Also, a lot of people there aren't really serious about meeting people, they're in it to see who messages them (this is what one of my female friends said that was on okcupid). I'm trying to get back into it and practicing not taking silence personally.

Holy crap. I just ran a search for guys to check how often they responded to test rdrr's idea that women have all the power in online dating. I found a guy I've met once on the first page. Apparantly we're a good match.

There are guys that reply very selectively, but, it seems, more men reply often than women. And some guys have this message showing: "[User] hasn't been contacted in over a week. You should send him a message." That makes me very sad. It won't let me see what it says about me.

 

[Envision]

Okay, after a long time I finally decided to give online dating a go. I have an insane fear of rejection, so I messaged three girls every few days. Anyways, I have asked out 25 girls total, 7 replied. Some of the 7 stop messaging me back after a while, and the rest give me their email address, and they never message again after I email them. I went pretty far with one of them, and I got her AIM, and i chatted with her for many hours a day for like a week, but she kept delaying our meet up. She also has strict parents that give her an 8 oclock curfew. I think its because she is middle eastern.

Anyways is it normal to get rejected like 25 times online, or is it just me. I can't really handle any more rejection. I don't want to message 100 girls and never meet up with any of them, its a big blow to my self esteem already. It doesn't help that all the girls I message reply very selectively ( that,s what it says when I click the button to message them ), but I cant help it that I am attracted to pretty girls. What do you guys think.

Oh by the way, I miss SAS, glad to be back.

It's very normal to get rejected. Look at Hollywood. Rejection is the name of the game.

Overall, I have a negative opinion of these dating Web sites.

It's difficult to know what percentage of the personal ads are legitimate. A recent research study concluded that 84 percent of Craigslist personal ads were fake. I believe that stat to be accurate.

Yeah, there's thousands of people listed on these personals' sites, but are these folks dating material? Would a person be comfortable introducing them to mom? That's an important question to ask.

I live in a huge city with a huge gay population. I know you're straight, but the gay personal ads are my only reference point. And I suspect they're not that much different than straight ads.

On Match.com personals, I've seen a number of gay prostitutes whose escort ads appear in local weekly gay entertainment and "what's happening" publications, seeking love and romance. I think they always say they're self-employed. LOL! I have never sought the services of a prostitute nor would I date one.

As far as I am concerned, finding Mrs./Mr. Right takes too much time with these sites. It takes hours. And no doubt some of these ads are fake.

 

[markx]

Although things have never progressed very far with my online dating, I've found that if you wait for them to find you, it's more likely to lead somewhere. Girls tend to get constantly bombarded by attention from guys on dating sites (a bit like a cat up a tree surrounded by barking dogs) and the chance of you being seen as "the one" out of the hundreds of other random guys is pretty slim. If she shows some interest in you to begin with then you stand a much better chance. I've actually had more attention when I don't display a picture... but they quickly lose interest when they see who they've been talking to. :b

If you look at it as purely a numbers game then messaging lots of girls might eventually pay off but there's bound to be lots of rejection along the way.

 

[eekmd]

I've had an online dating profile for 6 years... In total, I've been on 2 dates that have resulted from that profile. Don't take it to heart. I think that to be successful at online dating you have to be very aggressive. That said, it doesn't hurt to leave up a profile. You never know when you might hit the jackpot.

Some ways to get a better percentage of responses:
-Composing a message that's longer than a sentence or two.
-Comment on something you read in her profile. (Women get a lot of messages from guys that will just randomly copy and paste the same message to hundreds of women at a time).
-While being attracted to someone is important, weight your search more toward an attractive personality. (Everyone wants to date a gorgeous knockout... but most of us aren't gorgeous knockouts ourselves)
-When you message, be confident, but avoid coming off as being cocky or arrogant.

Keep at it... and best of luck in your dating endeavors!

 

[Envision]

Although things have never progressed very far with my online dating, I've found that if you wait for them to find you, it's more likely to lead somewhere. Girls tend to get constantly bombarded by attention from guys on dating sites (a bit like a cat up a tree surrounded by dogs) and the chance of you being seen as "the one" out of the hundreds of other random guys is pretty slim. If she shows some interest in you to begin with then you stand a much better chance. I've actually had more attention when I don't display a picture... but they quickly lose interest when they see who they've been talking to. :b

If you look at it as purely a numbers game then messaging lots of girls might eventually pay off but there's bound to be lots of rejection along the way.

I would guess women have better luck with online dating than men--the standard online dating sites.

Now, online dating sites have expanded to certain niches-- disabled, millionaire, etc.

I've ventured just a bit into online dating sites. I've always responded to an ad. I've never posted an ad. Most sites advise you to post a picture, because the ad will receive more responses. And I think that's true. I've never looked at ads without a picture. I just bypass them.

Too many people are looking for perfection. And then, too, some people have specific fetishes. It's crazy! The girl must have blonde hair. She must be this and she must be that. Or the guy must be very tall with a bald head.

Rejection does hurt, but if you don't have the certain fetish they're looking for, it's all over.

 

[IcedOver]

Plus, all the guy's wanting a booty call ruin it for all the guy's sincerly wanting to find someone.

Um, those guys sincerely want to find someone, just not for that long a time, which is fine.

I'd say that all the gold digging girls ruin it for those whose main concern isn't the size of a man's bank account. I was looking at a woman's profile recently on Yahoo! Personals. I actually found her description intriguing as she said she admitted to feeling very lost and lonely and is still living with her parents. In her "ideal man" column, almost all of her answers were "Any" except for the income requirement which said "Above $25,000". How typical.

 

[Envision]

I've had an online dating profile for 6 years... In total, I've been on 2 dates that have resulted from that profile. Don't take it to heart. I think that to be successful at online dating you have to be very aggressive. That said, it doesn't hurt to leave up a profile. You never know when you might hit the jackpot.

Some ways to get a better percentage of responses:
-Composing a message that's longer than a sentence or two.
-Comment on something you read in her profile. (Women get a lot of messages from guys that will just randomly copy and paste the same message to hundreds of women at a time).
-While being attracted to someone is important, weight your search more toward an attractive personality. (Everyone wants to date a gorgeous knockout... but most of us aren't gorgeous knockouts ourselves)
-When you message, be confident, but avoid coming off as being cocky or arrogant.

Keep at it... and best of luck in your dating endeavors!

Maybe you should try one of these millionaire online dating sites. I think you might strike gold. I know nothing about them.

 

[bsd3355]

Okay, after a long time I finally decided to give online dating a go. I have an insane fear of rejection, so I messaged three girls every few days. Anyways, I have asked out 25 girls total, 7 replied. Some of the 7 stop messaging me back after a while, and the rest give me their email address, and they never message again after I email them. I went pretty far with one of them, and I got her AIM, and i chatted with her for many hours a day for like a week, but she kept delaying our meet up. She also has strict parents that give her an 8 oclock curfew. I think its because she is middle eastern.

Anyways is it normal to get rejected like 25 times online, or is it just me. I can't really handle any more rejection. I don't want to message 100 girls and never meet up with any of them, its a big blow to my self esteem already. It doesn't help that all the girls I message reply very selectively ( that,s what it says when I click the button to message them ), but I cant help it that I am attracted to pretty girls. What do you guys think.

Oh by the way, I miss SAS, glad to be back.

LOL. So let me get this straight, you only emailed 25? Dude, I've tried probably 100 on plentyoffish. Out of those 100 probably 40 responded back, 20 out of 40 gave me their number, 5 stayed in contact with me longer than a week (over the phone), maybe 2 wanted a relationship and 1 of those two wasn't my type and the other one said we had no "connection" after a month. I'm a good looking guy and kind - dating sites suck.

Here are some reasons why:
-Probably more than half don't take it seriously enough for anything serious (tons of reasons)
-A lot are after an ego boost or because they are bored
-You really don't KNOW that person besides through text on a screen
-Some ladies get like HUNDREDS of emails a week from so many guys I've actually heard women say it's overwhelming. Because of this many women are super picky. Doesn't matter if your good looking or not because your just "#50".

I honestly had to recheck myself so many times because it was a pretty awful hit on my ego too. I was so good at getting blown off that I knew how and when it was coming every time it got so bad. Finally came to my senses and said screw this. Your chances of meeting someone you like are better in real life.

 

[sabueed]

wow. Thanks guys. I was just bummed out being rejected so many times, but I guess it seems to be normal. I also found out that OKCupid had more men than women on their dating site. I'll keep trying but not sure if Ill get anywhere. On a plus, it seems many girls do find me attractive, as I recently found out. Its just maybe I need to send better messages. As soon as I ask for the phone number, they stop messaging me back.Oh well, thanks guys.

 

[STKinTHEmud]

If you look that good, maybe you should try going out more. Hang out with friends at every opportunity and meet their friends, even if you feel uncomfortable about it. Chances are, you'll meet someone who will be attracted to you simply because you met in a low pressure situation.

 

[Drachasor]

wow. Thanks guys. I was just bummed out being rejected so many times, but I guess it seems to be normal. I also found out that OKCupid had more men than women on their dating site. I'll keep trying but not sure if Ill get anywhere. On a plus, it seems many girls do find me attractive, as I recently found out. Its just maybe I need to send better messages. As soon as I ask for the phone number, they stop messaging me back.Oh well, thanks guys.

Eekmd gave some great advice. Be selective about who you message, and make sure first and foremost they are attractive to you when you ignore the pics. In my experience, physical beauty really doesn't mean that much if you decide you really like someone. Trying to just go after "hotties" is going to fail on a lot of levels.

Anyhow, it might be better to chat with them for a good bit before asking for a number. I've used online dating fairly often and find having several chats (on aim or some other messenger program) that last a couple hours or longer to be a good way to decide if you are really interested in someone, and it is a good way to get them to decide if they are really interested in you. After that you can broach the topic of going on a date (note, that process might take a week, maybe two).

 

[sabueed]

If you look that good, maybe you should try going out more. Hang out with friends at every opportunity and meet their friends, even if you feel uncomfortable about it. Chances are, you'll meet someone who will be attracted to you simply because you met in a low pressure situation.

To be honest, I think my pics make it seem like I'm betterlooking than I really am. I mean I look the same, but I'm shorter. I don't know, I don't get too many girls that approach me and flirt with me, but I think I should go out more. Odds of getting rejected in person are less than online