[dreamer222]

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[Just Lurking]

Forums are OK for me. Emails aren't too bad.

But instant messaging? That spikes my SA. I'm (relatively) better at the one-on-one thing in person than on MSN. I find that odd, but it's just the way it seems to be... I think it's the lack of eye contact and body language. I like to get a feel for a person and you can't do that by staring at a bunch of text on a computer screen. It's impersonal.

I've tried the MSN thing with people on here before and didn't really get anywhere (my own fault). It's been a long time since I last did that - I suppose I should give it another go but... Anyway, yes I can relate.

 

[justforester]

I can relate. I actually find I'm more self-conscious writing online than when I talk 1-on-1 with a person, even if that person is a stranger. I over analyse what I type and it pisses me off. I don't even know how to make online friends.... It's easier in real life, though it's still really hard. How do you even make friends on this site?

I've never done dating sites because I have this (false) ingrained belief it's for "losers" yet I regularly feel like a loser due to my lack of a social network.

MSN is pretty relaxing for me though. I can talk freely on there and only get slightly anxious. Even when i'm messaging people I don't know well. It's weird.

 

[southward]

Yeah, I can post comments on here and other message boards but as for holding a conversation? No, I can't do it. In some ways I am more social in real life than I am on here. I also like to "read people" when I talk to them, that's not really possible on here.

 

[pokeherpro]

I'm fine with message boards and instant messages. Most IM's, you don't have to respond immediately, you have some time to plan your response and there is the backspace key. In fact, I often think that IM's are another reason I've developed social anxiety, because most of my communication with people happens through IM's so I'm used to not having to reply immediately. In person gives me no time to formulate a response so I stutter and mumble...but that doesn't happen online.

 

[successful]

Wow I thought I was the only one with the online social problems. I just go in chat rooms or forums, read what others post and never post. I never know what to say

 

[xVeilOfMayaX]

yah for me it weird because i feel like i get more anxiety on here then in real life i feel since this is a sad forum everyone knows u have sad and they do and my sad is based off as people seeing me as a person who suffers from it i dont want to be considered as a person as being shy or nervous but i still talk to people on here and even in that chat i can just feel my adrenaline rush when im on here and i feel nervous but then it goes away

 

[shyvr6]

I'm ok with it, but I still get the blank mind thing if it's someone new.

 

[milo001]

posting on forum ok but i feel terible as well went MSN-ing.that's why i didn't use my MSN for years.

 

[Some Russian Guy]

Someone could leave me a simple comment, and I'll freak out because I won't know how to respond to it. Then, if I do, I end up obsessing over what I said, convinced that it wasn't interpreted in the way I wanted it to be. It's especially annoying when it happens on dating sites...

Me is the same... so I just resort to asking questions about the person I talk to online, but I don't reveal much about myself. It happens on this forum in private messaging too.

 

[Micliph]

it's ok for me most of the time.
but it's lol because sometimes i even get small occasions of social anxiety in online shooters like Left4Dead, because ppl can see my through their screen, lol.

 

[zookeeper]

It takes all my effort just to post on the forum. I went into the chat for about 15 seconds once and it was terrifying.

 

[Tappman]

It depends. Since I don't really go out with friends, and never have, I spent all my days starting around 11 or 12 playing online games. I'm very comfortable with those people, because normal rules of conversation are thrown out the window in online games. You can say whatever you want, and nobody gives a ****.

Now, if I'm talking to someone I know in real life on MSN or Facebook, then yes, I do have trouble thinking of what to say to them.

 

[Tappman]

It depends. Since I don't really go out with friends, and never have, I spent all my days starting around 11 or 12 playing online games. I'm very comfortable with those people, because normal rules of conversation are thrown out the window in online games. You can say whatever you want, and nobody gives a ****.

Now, if I'm talking to someone I know in real life on MSN or Facebook, then yes, I do have trouble thinking of what to say to them.

 

[Vieras]

I have trouble with emails, forums, social networking sites, and chats. Pretty much everything except instant messaging. The forums and such gives me too much time to think about what I'm saying, and there's the knowledge that it's still there for re-reading even months afterwards. With social networking, it's just... too much. Too much commenting, too many pictures, too much clutter, and too many people yammering at you. With IM, it's rather short-term. Plus, I usually only talk to people I know well. Not always, but even with a stranger I can somewhat hold my own better than if it was on a forum or something.

 

[miminka]

I'm definitely less self-conscious writing on the internet. Of course, if you want to get right down to it, there's still spelling/grammatical errors and your message being taken the wrong way to worry you.

 

[John Paul]

I am okay with posting and creating threads, but I am on a few forums and I never get into an online conversation with anybody or converse with any individual poster. I also don't use the likes of MSN or chatrooms.

I also find in threads that I start, that I usually don't post in it again after I have started it.

 

[xLinnyx]

A few years ago I used to spend a lot of hours per day and night on MSN messenger talking to friends and it didn't bother me although I didn't like joint conversations much but nowadays I seem to get anxious and nervous going on there so I never really go on MSN anymore and people keep asking me when i'm going to go back on it. Forums are ok for me but I used to be addicted to going on MSN IMing people so i'm not sure why I can't even bring myself to log in now, perhaps because my SA has worsened over the years

 

[richiek]

I do have some anxiety when it comes to posting on forums or messageboards. After i post, I'm always anxious about people responding to me negatively. It's the same thing with emails. And IMs, fuggetaboutit. I hate being on the spot in responding to another person.

 

[IcedOver]

I would put as little stock as possible into what you do or how you're perceived on the internet. I know that the internet is very popular and omnipresent but it's a cesspool and is destroying this world. People have all these new ways of connecting such as IM, message boards, e-mail, text message and all this crap but it's really just pushing us farther away from each other. It's hard to even know who somebody is that you're talking to, right down to their gender!

The online world is able to provide some information and enlightenment and I'll admit that I have been addicted to it at times. You are able to talk to people you would never meet and on message boards like this where you have a common interest and can share stories, that's good. But online friends shouldn't be a goal of anyone. I think dating sites might be the best way for people with SA to initially meet someone but the online relationship should end as soon as possible in favor of a phone call and subsequent meet up. You shouldn't fret too much over little online comments. Call the person and you will better be able to judge their character (and vice versa) than you can by trying to interpret what they say in little online messages and stuff.