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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
EG. If your career or social life has been halted for a long time, so there's a big gaping hole in your life,

People always ask about your past.

What was your job? Are there many friends? if not, why? Did you go to college? What did you major? What was it like when you were in high school? How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Have ever done this/that? Ever been to abroad? What did you achieve? Why did you spent so much time at home? Do you have some illness? What do you do on weekends? Tell me about your life story....

THAT's the dreading part when you start fresh new life, people start to ask questions, and if they find out your life was mundane/boring,
They lose interest again. Then you become isolated again.

What the...

You can't run away from your past. Life sucks.
 

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Seriously , never serious
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I've started a new life a few times and no one has ever asked anything except what do you do as in job , not even what's your name only what you do for a living . .
But you are right you can't run away from things and you can't hide from things .
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I've started a new life a few times and no one has ever asked anything except what do you do as in job , not even what's your name only what you do for a living . .
But you are right you can't run away from things and you can't hide from things .
more and more they get closer, more thoroughly they interrogate you.
You don't have idea how nosy people can be.
Of course they don't ask all that questions at once, but sooner or later you have to answer them.
 

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Tell them you have a rough past and you don't like to talk about it. In a way it's the truth. I think once people get to know you better they won't care much about the past anyways, regardless of what you did.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Tell them you have a rough past and you don't like to talk about it. In a way it's the truth. I think once people get to know you better they won't care much about the past anyways, regardless of what you did.
That only works for acquaintances and co-workers.
Your GF/BF, close friends wouldn't be happy to hear that. and that kind of answer make them feel they are shunned.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
It's pretty easy to talk around questions. Say something vague.
I can do that. But people feel insulted when you don't give direct answer, though they don't express it,
later you'll be hearing people talking bad things about you behind your back because you're so secretive.
 

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Have a couple stories ready. I haven't had much of a life I guess, but I try and have one or two stories, even if I omit having a bad time or something.
 

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Most people don't probe too deeply.
This. The few times they do, it's easy to dismiss and evade. People like a bit of mystery.

You can always go the sarcastic route. "I spent the past 10 years in San Quentin." "For what?" "For what I did to the last person who asked too many questions."
 

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I know how you feel. I find myself using half-truths and white lies about my life around new people pretty frequently because from experience the 100% truth repels people. If you have make a little bull**** up, especially when you've suffered from SA for most of your life, then do so. As long as it isn't hurting anybody I don't see why not.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
This. The few times they do, it's easy to dismiss and evade. People like a bit of mystery.

You can always go the sarcastic route. "I spent the past 10 years in San Quentin." "For what?" "For what I did to the last person who asked too many questions."
You know, that kind of sarcasm pushes people away, if you want to have solitude life that's OK, but if you wanna really mingle in, or if you wanna start business, opening up yourself becomes kinda mandatory.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I know how you feel. I find myself using half-truths and white lies about my life around new people pretty frequently because from experience the 100% truth repels people. If you have make a little bull**** up, especially when you've suffered from SA for most of your life, then do so. As long as it isn't hurting anybody I don't see why not.
Maybe I should become assassin or black market trader for a living, then no one would ask anything about me.
 

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Yeah, that's absolutely true and a big factor in me relapsing at several points in the past when things were picking up for me.

I'm considering giving the answer of 'a rough past' from now on, although I hate being seen as weak or complaining.

Plus, there's the matter of the guys who already know you. You can't really run from your past self.
 

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As long as your cover story sounds reasonable and you can tell it with conviction, people won't probe. The problem is that the more time you spend with someone, the more inconsistencies in want you could accidentally say may be noticed. A small slip complaining about your family pestering you to "come home" (if your family is not supportive, what's the real reason you moved here?), offhanded mention of a previous coworker (alerting to the fact that you had a job before, perhaps one you don't want go talk about), another slip where you reveal you have knowledge on something you likely wouldn't have otherwise known if you didn't take a course of study (that somehow didn't work out and you don't want to explain).

Yes, I'm speaking from experience. It took until about five weeks in before I spilled almost everything to a coworker, a lot through being coaxed and partly of my own volition. In terms of explaining your past and current circumstances to potential employers, this takes extra caution and is more tricky. I had one corporate recruiter completely undress my reasons for moving across the country, and another who I could tell didn't believe me, but didn't probe further. Two barely asked at all- the more noncommittal the position, the less they care. The first one, if given the position, offered three weeks of full-time paid training and you were expected to stay for a long time, so I didn't blame the recruiter for digging so deeply. One of the latter however was only a 6-month seasonal position.

I've been trying to hide two years of my life, so it hasn't been easy.
 
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