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Lateralus
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I woke up in a sour mood this morning and had a temper outburst. In the outburst, I took my Luvox and threw it with force at the wall - it proceeded to shatter and most of the medication was destroyed in the process. Great call on my part there. Now I can't even return the useless sugar pills (with the sexual dysfunction bonus).

I asked my psychiatrist the previous night via text what the worst case scenario was of trying amphetamines. His response verbatim - "massive anxiety, temper outbursts, and mood instability."

So I bumped up my appointment to Friday at 1 PM (the day I was scheduled to start Luvox) and I am making one last hail mary attempt to get amphetamines. I'm going in with my guns loaded this time.

I sent my pdoc a picture of what was left of the Luvox and asked if tossing them at the wall qualified as a "temper outburst." I sent the message six hours ago. No response yet. Yeah, I'm really helping my cause here.

I don't know why I consented to Luvox in the first place. I specifically told myself going into the last appointment - amphetamine or not, NO MORE SSRIs. I can't believe I ever agreed to it.

Pray to whatever god you believe in. If you're an atheist, cross your fingers - that I may get my wish.
 

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Amphetamines give me obsessive-compulsive thoughts and make me crave pornography. Most people don't seem to have this problem with amps and porn but for some people the increased dopamine in the brain can make them extremely and uncomfortably horny and obsessed with sex. I don't sleep or eat for an entire day too while on them. They really don't help that much with social anxiety. Maybe for the first few hours the increased energy and the euphoria it gives you might make you feel a little more talkative and confident. But I would say in the long run I doubt it is going to do much for you.

Tolerance goes up extremely fast with amps too. Using them two days in a row I find is a bad idea because the second day the effects are extremely diminished. For me it takes a few weeks for my tolerance to go down after one night of binging on amps.

The day after is the worst and I do feel like I get annoyed so much easier the next day after use but it usually goes away very quickly and I feel back to normal. But I've never been an addict or used them as prescribed. There have only been a handful of times I've taken them. I usually take around 40 or 60mg at once. At really low doses of 10 or 20mg I don't feel any of the effects, even when I first tried them 10mg seemed to do nothing. But higher does of 50mg or more will blow my mind.

I've taken both street speed amphetamines and the prescribed adderall and honestly I could not tell much of a difference between the two. The adderall might have had a less terrible comedown but really it seemed almost the same to me.
 

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baclofen enthusiast
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involuntary treatment's getting closer...
 

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Lateralus
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
involuntary treatment's getting closer...
How do you mean?

I'm not getting amphetamines. Time to officially put that idea to bed. It's over, end of discussion.

My mother actually called my pdoc and now he's requested that both of my parents come into our meeting Friday. Yes, both of my parents. Into my meeting with my psychiatrist. I'm 21 years of age. This isn't embarrassing at all!

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm so lost. I've got no answers. This truly feels like hell.

If anyone has some idea I'm missing, some efficacious medicine I haven't pulled out of the hat yet (one that is semi-feasible to get) now is the time to help YFS out.

I've tried Nardil almighty. Stims are out of the question. What's left? Am I truly to ride the SSRI train again?
 

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How do you mean?

I'm not getting amphetamines. Time to officially put that idea to bed. It's over, end of discussion.

My mother actually called my pdoc and now he's requested that both of my parents come into our meeting Friday. Yes, both of my parents. Into my meeting with my psychiatrist. I'm 21 years of age. This isn't embarrassing at all!

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm so lost. I've got no answers. This truly feels like hell.

If anyone has some idea I'm missing, some efficacious medicine I haven't pulled out of the hat yet (one that is semi-feasible to get) now is the time to help YFS out.

I've tried Nardil almighty. Stims are out of the question. What's left? Am I truly to ride the SSRI train again?
I think he means that you're becoming unstable to the point where they will involuntary treat you, aka, psychiatric hospital. But yeah, I don't think they can do that unless you hurt yourself or threaten to hurt someone.

But yeah, I agree sending a picture to your doctor of you throwing your pills against the wall is going to hurt your chance at a stimulant. I've never used a stimulant but I believe they're volatile. If anything, right now it sounds like you could use remeron. I'm not sure if you've used it.

It'll put you asleep 16 hours a day so you're not awake through all this depressive pain and it will keep you calm while a drug gets in your system like luvox.

One of the best signs is if your sleep starts to regulate, the antidepressant effect isn't too far off.
 

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You will be so lucky if you get amphetamines. i used to take adderall here and there and i never felt more confident and motivated on it. I actually enjoyed life on it and did things i never would.
 

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Cheesus
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Your doc could interpret that in a threatening way. Becareful.

You didn't even give luvox a chance. For all you know the sigma-1 agonist properties were what you needed.

Anyways, maybe Lyrica or Baclofen as adjunct therapy? Although your episode may land you some nice antipsychotics hehe.
 

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You will be so lucky if you get amphetamines. i used to take adderall here and there and i never felt more confident and motivated on it. I actually enjoyed life on it and did things i never would.
That effect doesn't last with daily use.
 

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I can tell you that amphetamines can really test your temper. With DEA quotas & blatant market manipulation by big pharma to screw you on price you might feel ready to throw a temper tantrum. Generic dextroamphetamine that used to cost $40 now goes for $400.

Today I filled an Adderall scrip, a relative bargain at a "mere" $99. In today's world you're supposed to be thrilled to even find amphetamines available at any price. If you enjoy being bleeped up the bleep, you'll love buying C-II stimulants.

I'd like to wrap my hands firmly around the neck of a DEA agent and practice squeezing as hard as I can. It would make a great workout, both physically & mentally.

BTW, I got the Adderall script (20mg twice a day) from my GP, so my former pdoc who dumped me can go suck it!
 

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Going to war
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Amphetamines give me obsessive-compulsive thoughts and make me crave pornography. Most people don't seem to have this problem with amps and porn but for some people the increased dopamine in the brain can make them extremely and uncomfortably horny and obsessed with sex. I don't sleep or eat for an entire day too while on them. They really don't help that much with social anxiety. Maybe for the first few hours the increased energy and the euphoria it gives you might make you feel a little more talkative and confident. But I would say in the long run I doubt it is going to do much for you.

Tolerance goes up extremely fast with amps too. Using them two days in a row I find is a bad idea because the second day the effects are extremely diminished. For me it takes a few weeks for my tolerance to go down after one night of binging on amps.

The day after is the worst and I do feel like I get annoyed so much easier the next day after use but it usually goes away very quickly and I feel back to normal. But I've never been an addict or used them as prescribed. There have only been a handful of times I've taken them. I usually take around 40 or 60mg at once. At really low doses of 10 or 20mg I don't feel any of the effects, even when I first tried them 10mg seemed to do nothing. But higher does of 50mg or more will blow my mind.

I've taken both street speed amphetamines and the prescribed adderall and honestly I could not tell much of a difference between the two. The adderall might have had a less terrible comedown but really it seemed almost the same to me.
im the same way.
 

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Why amphetamines? Sure the stimulant effects can be great but there are a lot of downsides to them to like the points your pdoc makes. Plus if your complaining about sexual dysfunction then amphetamines probably won't help with that.
 

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Lateralus
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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Why amphetamines? Sure the stimulant effects can be great but there are a lot of downsides to them to like the points your pdoc makes. Plus if your complaining about sexual dysfunction then amphetamines probably won't help with that.
My entire life is a downside. If I can even gain some positive effects from amphetamines, I'll take it. Regardless though, that ship has sailed. I'm not getting them, period.

Speaking of sexual dysfunction, I'm still getting boned by Cymcrapta a f'ing month and a half after stopping it. I'm STILL having sexual dysfunction, but it's gone from anorgasmia to erectile difficulties and I'm going to make a term up here - OVERgasmia. I seriously hate Cymcrapta. Screw you, Lilly.

Anybody have experience with Clomipramine? That's something I'm gonna bring up Friday.
 

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baclofen enthusiast
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I think he means that you're becoming unstable to the point where they will involuntary treat you, aka, psychiatric hospital. But yeah, I don't think they can do that unless you hurt yourself or threaten to hurt someone.

But yeah, I agree sending a picture to your doctor of you throwing your pills against the wall is going to hurt your chance at a stimulant. I've never used a stimulant but I believe they're volatile. If anything, right now it sounds like you could use remeron. I'm not sure if you've used it.

It'll put you asleep 16 hours a day so you're not awake through all this depressive pain and it will keep you calm while a drug gets in your system like luvox.

One of the best signs is if your sleep starts to regulate, the antidepressant effect isn't too far off.
I know what I said sounds a little mean and I apologize to YFS. However, his behaviour could be bothersome to a doctor and a friend of mine received an involuntary treatment in the past for just throwing her meds out of the window and demanding booze instead. Here you just have to take your meds and walk the line... on the other hand access to any med is easier than in other countries but you'd better not tell a doctor that you're taking a med which he has not prescribed to you.
 

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Lateralus
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I know what I said sounds a little mean and I apologize to YFS. However, his behaviour could be bothersome to a doctor and a friend of mine received an involuntary treatment in the past for just throwing her meds out of the window and demanding booze instead. Here you just have to take your meds and walk the line... on the other hand access to any med is easier than in other countries but you'd better not tell a doctor that you're taking a med which he has not prescribed to you.
It's alright. Unless I posed a serious threat to myself or others, I couldn't be hospitalized involuntarily.

Have you tried Parnate? It has stimulant properties..
I tried Nardil which was a catastrophe and a heartbreaker. I haven't tried Parnate and don't think that's in the cards.
 

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Reposed in awesomeness...
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When the professionals don't cooperate it may be time to take matters into your own hands. Self medication isn't as irresponsible and dangerous as some may think. At least, no more dangerous and irresponsible than prescription meds. Blind people fumbling around in the dark. Where is the empirical data to back up the idea that SSRI' can be used to treat just about anything you may have to see a psychiatrist about? Pfft!
 

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How do you mean?

I'm not getting amphetamines. Time to officially put that idea to bed. It's over, end of discussion.

My mother actually called my pdoc and now he's requested that both of my parents come into our meeting Friday. Yes, both of my parents. Into my meeting with my psychiatrist. I'm 21 years of age. This isn't embarrassing at all!

I don't know what to do at this point. I'm so lost. I've got no answers. This truly feels like hell.

If anyone has some idea I'm missing, some efficacious medicine I haven't pulled out of the hat yet (one that is semi-feasible to get) now is the time to help YFS out.

I've tried Nardil almighty. Stims are out of the question. What's left? Am I truly to ride the SSRI train again?
Just do what I did. Refuse SSRI's and TCA's on the grounds that serotonergic meds make you feel like ****. Eventually they get around to prescribing you dopaminergics.

Lamictal helped my depression, let's add Wellbutrin, that helps a bit more but still not enough. Ok switch that to Ritalin, that helps more but is slightly anxiogenic, so why don't go ahead and try an amphetamine. Well I found a good p-doc and that's how it went for me...
 

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Just do what I did. Refuse SSRI's and TCA's on the grounds that serotonergic meds make you feel like ****. Eventually they get around to prescribing you dopaminergics.

Lamictal helped my depression, let's add Wellbutrin, that helps a bit more but still not enough. Ok switch that to Ritalin, that helps more but is slightly anxiogenic, so why don't go ahead and try an amphetamine. Well I found a good p-doc and that's how it went for me...
What all do you take now? Just wondering.
 

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Lateralus
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Just do what I did. Refuse SSRI's and TCA's on the grounds that serotonergic meds make you feel like ****. Eventually they get around to prescribing you dopaminergics.

Lamictal helped my depression, let's add Wellbutrin, that helps a bit more but still not enough. Ok switch that to Ritalin, that helps more but is slightly anxiogenic, so why don't go ahead and try an amphetamine. Well I found a good p-doc and that's how it went for me...
My pdoc shot down my Wellbutrin idea a while back because he thought it'd be "too stimulating" for me.

I brought up Lamictal last time and I'm going to bring it up again.

Depression has taken the forefront ahead of my anxiety as of late, because if I don't get my depression reduced at least somewhat I can't last a whole lot longer. Once I can at least tolerate the thought of living another day then I can tackle my anxiety. If I can hit them both then that's great, but so far I have yet to find something that helps either one.

A big part of my depression stems from my FIRM conviction that I will never hold a steady job, make friends, have a GF etc due to my intense level of anxiety....leaving my own damn house is trouble these days.
 
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