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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've gone from one extreme to the other.I was shy when I was young,but also have been very outgoing in certain times in my life.There have been two major social anxiety life interuptions.I'm going through the second one at the moment,and have been for about 6 or 7 years.The other one happened when I was 18 and went on until I was 20 or 21.It just so happens that both of these seem to be at the same time of being in a serious relationship.When I left the first relationship I did things like get up on stage and sing and play my guitar at open mic nights and loved it.I would travel around and live where ever.I kindof hitch hiked.I went from Florida all the way to New york city and panhandled with my guitar.I would bar hop by my self and knew people and people knew me and life felt great.I had confidence.People liked me and I liked them.Even the perverted bar flies.lol.I don't want to be this way anymore.I don't even know how to finish what I'm saying.There is so much more to the story.Talking about this subject is harder than I thought.Sorry I will try again some other time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Ok,this subject started bleeding into another subject I think.Forget about the relationship part.Just the fact that I'm back to not even wanting to go outside becuase I'm affraid someone will stop by while i'm out there and I'll have to talk to them.After doing all that stuff I had done before.Just the complete opposite.I was brave and now I'm such a wimp.I can't even talk to my own dad,mom,or brother without getting red in the face and my chest hurting.I wish I could just find the inbetween where I can be confident but not reckless.When I did all that stuff I was very reckless.I'm lucky I'm still alive after all that,but at the same time I'm not feeling alive right now because of this problem.I just feel like I can only go from one extreem to the other.I ve never experienced the inbetween.Sometimes I wish I was still that way just so I could feel that feeling of being confident and liked.I don't know how to interact with people in normal situations.I'm having a hard time figuring out who I am,or what kind of person I am.I'm all over the place with this.I'm not a good writer either,but I hope I put enough info out there for some kind of something.Does anyone know what I'm saying?
 
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