[sprinter]

Remember any jokes that have been around for... well as long as we have? I'm taking a truck load of junk to the landfill tomorrow and that made me think of this stupid old joke.

Where did the Lone Ranger take Silver when he died? To da dump, to da dump to da dump dump dump. :lol :um

 

[glittergaze]

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

My father told me that one when I was really young.

 

[Noca]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side

 

[Ms Deer]

Q. What is black and white and red all over?

A. A newspaper


Q. How many dead people in that cemetery?

A. All of them.

 

[Crusader Rabbit]

A B C D Goldfish?
L M N O Goldfish.

O S A R.

 

[Ms Deer]

A B C D Goldfish?
L M N O Goldfish.

O S A R.

I heard it a bit differently. :lol

ABCD puppies
LMNO puppies
OSAR puppies
CMPN

 

[glittergaze]

Call me dumb, but :get :stu

 

[Ms Deer]

Call me dumb, but :get :stu

Don't feel bad. It really is pretty obscure. Reading some of these "jokes" and I'm thinking.....Gaaaahhh, it really didn't take much to amuse our little pea brains back in the olden days.

Here's the translation:

Abbie, see the puppies.
Hell, them ain't no puppies.
Oh yes they are...
See'em pee'in!! :lol

 

[glittergaze]

Call me dumb, but :get :stu

Don't feel bad. It really is pretty obscure. Reading some of these "jokes" and I'm thinking.....Gaaaahhh, it really didn't take much to amuse our little pea brains back in the olden days.

Here's the translation:

Abbie, see the puppies.
Hell, them ain't no puppies.
Oh yes they are...
See'em pee'in!! :lol

Oh, okay! I get it now. That's cute! :lol :thanks

 

[Amocholes]

How do you know if an elephant has been in your refridgerator?


You can see his footprints in the cheesecake.






How many elephants can you fit in a Volkswagon?


5 - 2 in the front seat, 2 in the back seat and 1 in the glove compartment.

 

[PeekABoo]

These are cute! I've got a couple.

How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch?

It wears pink tennis shoes.


How does an elephant hide in an apple tree?

It just hangs around making sounds like an apple.


Elephant jokes were very big, for some reason, when I was growing up.

 

[Amocholes]

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between 4 and 5 pm?

That's when the elephants are jumping out of trees.




Why are pygmies so short?

They went into the jungle between 4 and 5 pm.

 

[PeekABoo]

Do you remember how you never got tired of Knock Knock jokes as a kid? As an adult, I got tired of them very quickly!

Knock, knock:
Who's there?
Cantaloupe
Cantaloupe who?
Can't elope tonight, I forgot the ladder.

Knock, knock:
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!

Knock, knock:
Who's there?
Tarzan
Tarzan who?
Tarzan stripes forever.

Knock, knock:
Who's there?
Adolph
Adolph who?
Adolph ball hit me on the head, that's why I'm talking this way.

Knock, knock:
Who's there?
Dwain
Dwain who?
Dwain the bathtub, I'm dwowning.

 

[Ernest]

knock knock:
who's there?
banana
banana who?
banana banana

knock knock:
who's there?
banana
banana who?
banana banana

knock knock:
who's there?
orange
orange who?
orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

 

[IFearScrutiny]

One my ex told me:

What did 1 strawberry say to the other strawberry?







If we weren't so fresh, we wouldn't be IN this Jam!

 

[ShesKrayZ]

knock, knock
who's there?
boo
boo who?
you don't have to cry about it

knock knock
who's there?
celeste
celeste who?
celeste knock knock joke I'll ever tell you

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elifino read (h)Ell if I know

 

[quietpond]

Here's one from when I was little:

How do you catch a unique duck?

Unique up on him!

How do you catch a tame duck?

The tame way! :lol


Oh, and this one my dad had me stumped about for a long time:

How do you get down from an elephant?

You don't, you get down from a duck.

 

[Amocholes]

How do you catch a polar bear?

Chop a hole in the ice.
Spread peas around the hole.
When the polar bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

 

[lilly]

A grasshoper goes into a bar
and asks for a drink
the bartender hands the customer a grasshopper and says,
"this drink's named after you"
"What Trevor?" asks the grasshopper.

 

[lilly]

A mushroom goes into a bar
and asks for a drink
the bartender says
"we're not allowed to serve mushrooms in this bar"
the mushroom answers,
"Why not? I'm a fun guy!"