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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there, I don't really have anything officially diagnosed, but I do suffer from shyness and I do try a fair bit to be liked. I also have social anxiety around a guy I know and a close friend of mine says the guy is known to be odd and socially awkward.

I used to be bullied at school - the boys for my looks and the girls for not dressing like them, not wearing make-up like they did, not smoking like they did, being unintelligent, being quiet and just coming to school to study, which I thought was why I was there!

Anyway, glad to be here x
 

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Having had consistent negative social experiences in school can definitely mold one to have social anxiety, shyness and social apprehension. Having positive social experiences later on in life can help a lot to reverse that to bring back confidence to yourself with positive reinforcements. Hopefully you can push yourself into social situations more, even if it means you having to go outside of your own comfort zone to seek that. And hopefully you might get some good advice here.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Having had consistent negative social experiences in school can definitely mold one to have social anxiety, shyness and social apprehension. Having positive social experiences later on in life can help a lot to reverse that to bring back confidence to yourself with positive reinforcements. Hopefully you can push yourself into social situations more, even if it means you having to go outside of your own comfort zone to seek that. And hopefully you might get some good advice here.
Thanks Blue Dino :)

I have been told by my closest friend at work that a guy in his department likes me - or at least it comes across that way. He said if the guy actually found out "he would feel extremely flattered". Now, I like him back, and this has continued for about 5 years.

When I returned to the building after lockdown eased, I was working in a different role within the contact centre. The guy didn't know I was still working for the company until I moved up into the company about 3 months ago where I caught him looking at me, beaming from ear to ear and going "oh my god, she's come back, yeah!"

The thing is, I don't know in what way I like him. We rarely talk to each other and he is so work-focused all the time and he can be unclear at times as to what he says. But my friend believes that he does want to talk to me. What about, I don't know...or in what context.

Talking as friends is fine, because he seems likeable and intelligent, but it's like some people have said to me: "he most likely wants more than friendship". For that potentiality and for how long this tension has persisted, the only thing I can do is leave the company, which I have started to consider more seriously.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I rarely get anyone of the opposite sex flirting with me or expressing interest in me...because this guy seems to like me and I like him back, I am mostly just wondering who has put him up to this. I once saw him have a photo on his social media page where he has a calendar full of bikini clad women. I am far more unattractive than any of them! 😭
 

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Yes you're in the right spot. Welcome to the site hope you find it useful. I'm always up for a chat so if you're up for it or just bored send me a message. Good luck.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
So I see the guy today. He came in earlier than expected and to be honest I didn't expect to see him at all because he predominantly works remotely from home. Husband told me to "stay away from him" so I figured I would change my route within the office so that he wouldn't spot me or make any comments about me.

The ladies' toilets are (conveniently for him) situated behind his desk and he happened to be talking with his back in the direction of the ladies' so I thought I would go right then when he wasn't focusing on me. I wasn't in the best of moods either due to it being that time of the month so I started to walk to the ladies', but out of the corner of my eye I saw him look up, stop talking and stare directly at my face.

My girl friends have said he is being a total creep and a predator. My guy friend says there are "feelings" there between us.

He has already asked my same guy friend how old I was (37 - he is 39) and if I am single, and my guy friend said "she is 37 and she's married." The guy went "Oh, that's frustrating". He had known for 5 years I am married, but he's acting so weird.

His friends outside of work seem to know who I am because they have approached me, stared at me and called me "fine" - which I am most certainly not because if this guy has a calendar full of bikini-clad women, well, that would make them hotter than me! LOL

When he talks about work, he sounds so intelligent but seeing him act the way he does outside of work he is like a different person, staring at me and making comments like "I would love to go up the back of her."

He and I rarely talk as we work on different teams, but even when we did it was still pretty much very rare because he always seemed very busy with his own responsibilities. On one occasion I was putting something away and we had a chat about holidays as I just came back from one.

He asked me where I went and I told him and he said "I go there, a few times every month like you do. Maybe next time we have the same time off you and I could meet up?"

o_O

I can still picture his expression in my mind - he was smiling (which he rarely does) and his eyes were half-lidded as if he were dreaming. When I encountered him outside of work with his friends he made this same expression and I was with my husband at the time. Then I heard his friends say "she's fine".

Urgh, this is all so weird! My guy friend firmly believes he is just being socially awkward and "clunky" but I told my husband about what he did today and he said he is evidently being quite "creepy".

I have a feeling his parents separated as he only ever talks about his mum and I have bumped into him shopping with her.

I really feel that the best thing I can do at this stage is wait for there to be a company party where he and I can actually talk and I can get to the bottom of what his deal is.
I will post this in the relationships section I think, sorry.
 
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