Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Whenever you have a conversation with someone do you feel like what you're saying doesn't feel natural? Sometimes when I do muster up the courage to have a conversation with someone I feel like I'm not being myself, like everything I say doesn't sit right inside my head.
As soon as I say something I hear myself thinking "Why did you say that? That's not really what I wanted to say."
It feels almost like being completely seperated from what I'm saying. A weird "out of body" sensation during a conversation. It makes me want to stop talking so I don't feel so uncomfortable with myself.

Does anyone else feel that way? It makes me feel even more anxious about talking to people because I just want to be "me" around people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
61 Posts
Yeah all the time. I'm always catching myself pre-thinking what I'm going to say. I don't trust the spur of the moment to guide my words. When they're saying something, I'm already preparing an answer.. but by the time they're done speaking, my prepared answer no longer fits the moment. So I don't say it, and this repeats.. over and over.
 

·
Daydreaming
Joined
·
586 Posts
I think I know what you mean. I think, "that's not really what I wanted to say" often.

I also almost always pre-think/plan what I'm going to say.
 

·
blessed with lucky sevens
Joined
·
840 Posts
Yeah man. That's gotta be the definition of Social Anxiety or something... It's ****ed up.

I feel like when I'm around people and I'm talking to them I must sound like such a dumbass because it's such a struggle for me, and I'm thinking so much about what they're thinking of me that I don't focus my brain power on the topic at hand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
67 Posts
Yes, I always feel uncomfortable and unsatisfied with the majority of "meaningful" conversation I have with people. It's frustrating I know..you try to get your point across and I always feel like although I can share it beautifully on a blog, I stutter and sound like a bumbling idiot in person.

Very rarely do I ever get those "I can be me" type refreshing conversations.

They are out there, so don't worry about the situation :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
yes, yes, and YES. it is possibly one of the most frustrating things about having SA. i have so many things to say, so much in me, but i always end up mumbling vague sentences that have NOTHING to do with what i wish i could say.

you're not the only one.
 

·
anhedonic
Joined
·
2,005 Posts
Yes, I'm a conversation mushroom. I'm never quite myself. In order to get along with the person, I act a little like him/her.
 

·
Little Winged One
Joined
·
6,445 Posts
Oh Wow! I know what you mean. Most of my conversations feel as if I'm being interviewed for a job.(Gotta come up with the correct answer/question). Even my voice does'nt sound right-it's like it gets high and squeaky. And always,always,attempting to please! Even if I promise myself I won't do that. Sometimes I think that's really why I never make friends. Nobody wants a mimic of themselves.-They want a real person who has their own ideas and thoughts.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Ah, you guys get it. And you put it more eloquently. Although I think it sucks for all of us to feel this way, I can take a little bit of comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one.

It's so annoying and exhausting to pre-think/over-analyze everything you say and do. And still end up tripping over your own words. I would love be able to have a conversation without pre-thinking. Sigh. Wouldn't that be great?

Atleast I can have normal conversations with my immediate family. That's a plus. Right? Haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,554 Posts
Yeah, that's pretty much every conversation for me...unless it's with someone I've known for a really long time. I overthink things way too much before I say them and then it just ruins the whole flow of what I was saying.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
158 Posts
Yeah all the time. I'm always catching myself pre-thinking what I'm going to say. I don't trust the spur of the moment to guide my words. When they're saying something, I'm already preparing an answer.. but by the time they're done speaking, my prepared answer no longer fits the moment. So I don't say it, and this repeats.. over and over.
That's how it is for me too. While listening to the person I'm really running ideas of what I can say back to them, and then that response doesn't fit so I have to think of something else. Then all that comes out is a "yeah" or an "oh"
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top