[awkward]

Hello,

I am a 32 year old female from Northern Florida. I suffer from life long depression as well as Social Avoidance and Anxiety. After finally getting on successful treatment from depression, I was able to pull my life together and am now a successful professional. I am still struggling with SA. I recently started therapy but was very unsatisfied with the results - her main focus was to tell me to 'get out more' - so I discontinued as she obviously doesn't get it.

While I am happy with my life's direction, I still have a lot of trouble connecting on a social level with my co-workers. My only friends are the ones I have kept since high school. I really want to become more comfortable socially and raise my confidence. Does anyone know where I should start??

Thank you, and I am happy to be hear.

 

[mrfixit]

i don't have any advice but thanks for posting as i'm a 30 year old who recently found out about SA and your post supports my believe that it's never too late.

 

[rumjungle]

Hello,
My only friends are the ones I have kept since high school.

I'm the same, I haven't made any friends since highschool and haven't seen the highschool ones much since either.

Welcome!

 

[Just Lurking]

Welcome

 

[artist lace]

Welcome to SAS!

I have always found that I make friends the easiest with people who are convenient for me. I got lucky with good friends in school and in my neighborhood as I grew up, and found like-minded friends in college.

Now, a few of my best friends are co-workers. It took a long time to develop an "outside of work" relationship with them, but I have managed to do so. Even though these friends are still relatively new to me (I've known them a couple years) I've started seeing them every other weekend or so, which is a lot for me, socially. Their larger group of friends has accepted myself and my husband and that feels great.

I still have a lot of trouble with all the social invitations, usually there are several/week. Somehow, even though I hate being asked to attend a social activity, it helps to see my friends daily and it almost forces me to go out sometimes. (Which can be a good thing, but it can also be my worst nightmare-I hate having no where to hide.)

If you are able to find anyone you see a lot (at work or in your neighborhood for example) who you may appreciate the company of, I would focus on them. If you can take baby steps, and slowly try to bond with someone, usually it leads to convenient friendships. Sometimes I need my friends to be near me often, to remind me that they aren't out there, living their lives without me. It makes me more comfortable with them.

I think comfort is the key. It's hard to find, but when you are able to reach that level with someone, it helps immensely.

 

[tellywrs]

I too have that problem at work but I've actually gotten really lucky as there is a Pharmacy Tech who has made it her 'mission' to get me more open and relaxed. She saw what I was taking, asked me about it in a friendly manner and said "I can't believe that, I see you with customers being just the best cashier ever" (which is me trying very very hard not to get yelled at because i've screwed something up) and then proceeded to ask me to her 4th of July cook out and would not take no for an answer, and to a concert to a band we both like in September.

Going to the cookout was absolutely frightening but after a few hours of being attached to her hip (as I warned her I might do) it became really fun and enjoyable and a few others from work showed up and were surprised to see me there. And now they talk to me more at work as well.

 

[Toad Licker]

Hey awkward :wel

 

[TorLin]

Hello :wels

 

[TigerLilyie]

Hello and Welcome! I think by getting on this forum is a good way to start! I like the title of your post by the way. "Noob" haha! I like it.

 

[UltraShy]

:wel

 

[lastofthekews]

Hi awkward, welcome to the forums

 

[millenniumman75]

Welcome, Awkward!