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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've been feeling down lately because of how my SA makes me act at uni. To make up for feeling insanely insecure in my own body, I try to dress nicely so I can fit in. I feel like it just draws more negative attention towards me because I don't have a good sense of style, really. Combined with my awkwardness it just makes everyday that much worse to get through. I often can't even concentrate in class because i feel like the whole class is staring at me.

I see other girls in my classes wear sweat pants and a hoodie most days...it got me to think that I should just give up trying to look stylish because to be honest, I'm broke so I really can't even afford to buy nice or "trendy" clothes. The things I wear do the complete opposite of make me look nice :|

I just don't want to feel judged anymore...how do I shake this feeling?
 

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I know the feeling well. As superficial as fashion may be, it can make a huge difference in confidence level, and consequently, SA. Sometimes I can put together a great outft that makes me feel great. Other times, I'll try clothes on for what seems like forever, and I still can't find anything that doesn't make me look like a complete dork. What's even worse is when you wear something that you think is stylish, only to change your mind about it after you've left home.
 

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I'm actually struggling with a similar problem. Most of the girls in my town tend to dress the same. They go through trends of wearing certain things. I feel like I can never completely look like one of them. I don't even really want to; I want to look like me. But most of the things I wanna wear are too 'out there' and I don't want to have people looking at me. So I try and blend in with everyone else and yet I never really can. It makes me feel like a freak who can't fit in.
 

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Here's some tips to help you pick out outfits;
Find a store you really like, and fits your personality. Then, look at the mannequins in the store. People are paid to put cute outfits together on them, and they should give you an idea.

An item may look cute on you, but if it doesn't fit right, there's no point. FIT is the most important thing.

If you ever need anymore advice, just let me know! I have social anxiety, but for whatever reason I have a knack for fashion too :)

I'm sure you look just fine! People aren't as judgmental on appearances in Uni as they are in primary and high school.

Also, maybe they seem to be staring at you because you look so nice and pretty!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Here's some tips to help you pick out outfits;
Find a store you really like, and fits your personality. Then, look at the mannequins in the store. People are paid to put cute outfits together on them, and they should give you an idea.

An item may look cute on you, but if it doesn't fit right, there's no point. FIT is the most important thing.

If you ever need anymore advice, just let me know! I have social anxiety, but for whatever reason I have a knack for fashion too :)

I'm sure you look just fine! People aren't as judgmental on appearances in Uni as they are in primary and high school.

Also, maybe they seem to be staring at you because you look so nice and pretty!
Thank you for your advice! I think my problem most of the time is fit...either it's too tight or too loose. It's tough to find things that fit well when you're not exactly a size zero.

A lot of the time I'm insecure to begin with, so if I see someone looking at me, I automatically think they're judging my outfit and thinking negative things. Today I saw someone pass by me in the hall looking at my shoes so I went home and changed completely, only to feel even MORE self conscious. I hate this...
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
How do you pick your clothes?
I usually shop at old navy and pick out what i feel will make me blend in yet still look somewhat decent...a typical outfit consists of dark jeans, flats and a sweater or cardigan. Nothing too outrageous, but still.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
maybe they were looking at your shoes because they liked them
Maybe but it seems more logical in my mind that they would be thinking the opposite...
 

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Thank you for your advice! I think my problem most of the time is fit...either it's too tight or too loose. It's tough to find things that fit well when you're not exactly a size zero.

A lot of the time I'm insecure to begin with, so if I see someone looking at me, I automatically think they're judging my outfit and thinking negative things. Today I saw someone pass by me in the hall looking at my shoes so I went home and changed completely, only to feel even MORE self conscious. I hate this...
yes, fit is always the hardest thing! if you REALLY REALLY like something that doesn't fit quite perfect, you can always get it tailored. its not too expensive if it is a simple fix. good call on the dark jeans btw, always flattering. by what i read, it sounds like you dress just fine! this is going to sound silly, but watching 'what not to wear' on TLC really helps me, at least, because they dress people of all different shapes and sizes, not just size 0's. too bad i don't know you like a friend, i work for Gap Inc, i could get you a discount :)
 

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OH and as for the shoes, I often check out shoes when I walked around school (mainly because I stare at the floor because all the people looking at me make me uncomfortable) because I really, really, love shoes and like to find cute ones people are wearing so I can potentially add them to my collection. of the 27 pairs i already have. yes. i know. i have a problem. besides the SA.
 

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This is a personal opinion but I don't think a lot of people like to make eye contact so if they're looking down maybe its because of this and not judging your shoes. Also if you see men/boys looking at you its not because you look unattractive. For example theres this very fine looking girl(could be older I'm not sure but she looks to be around 20 so i call her girl cause i dont know her name :D) She is in my intro to psych class and as soon as she walks in i can already see all the males eyes roving around her(i sit in the back). hahah funny part is even the guys who pretended not to look at her i watch as they make little peeping glances at her.

Ok and uh what does sense of style mean? lol I havent gone shopping for new clothes in ..........
 

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Never EVER wear something because it's deemed fashionable because that's all bull**** and it fades with every month.
Just be yourself.

Find your own way and you'll infinitely be better than those who must consult a magazine or whatever.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
yes, fit is always the hardest thing! if you REALLY REALLY like something that doesn't fit quite perfect, you can always get it tailored. its not too expensive if it is a simple fix. good call on the dark jeans btw, always flattering. by what i read, it sounds like you dress just fine! this is going to sound silly, but watching 'what not to wear' on TLC really helps me, at least, because they dress people of all different shapes and sizes, not just size 0's. too bad i don't know you like a friend, i work for Gap Inc, i could get you a discount :)
Funny you said that because i've seriously considered trying to convince my family to nominate me for 'what not to wear'. I feel like most of my insecurities would disappear if I had better clothes. It seems shallow but it's not meant to be...I simply just want to fit in...
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
This is a personal opinion but I don't think a lot of people like to make eye contact so if they're looking down maybe its because of this and not judging your shoes. Also if you see men/boys looking at you its not because you look unattractive. For example theres this very fine looking girl(could be older I'm not sure but she looks to be around 20 so i call her girl cause i dont know her name :D) She is in my intro to psych class and as soon as she walks in i can already see all the males eyes roving around her(i sit in the back). hahah funny part is even the guys who pretended not to look at her i watch as they make little peeping glances at her.

Ok and uh what does sense of style mean? lol I havent gone shopping for new clothes in ..........
So in other words, if men found you to be unattractive, they wouldn't be looking at you?

Sense of style just means you have a knowledge of what clothes looks good on you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Never EVER wear something because it's deemed fashionable because that's all bull**** and it fades with every month.
Just be yourself.

Find your own way and you'll infinitely be better than those who must consult a magazine or whatever.
I think you're right. I would love to just be myself but I care way too much about what others think/fear being judged negatively every second of my life.
 

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Wearing clothes you feel comfortable in will help, but you won't completely shake that feeling of people judging you until you have more confidence and self esteem.
 

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I actually hate dressing stylish or dressing up in general because I don't want to draw attention to myself and honestly I feel horribly uncomfortable in fancy clothing because I feel that I don't have the personality to match the clothing so why bother.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Wearing clothes you feel comfortable in will help, but you won't completely shake that feeling of people judging you until you have more confidence and self esteem.
True.
 
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