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Hi,

Where do I begin, lets see. I am a guy and I am in a fraternity, where we call each other "brothers" and are essentially very close, at least some of us. I am an older member of this fraternity at a stage where it was only starting. I have put a lot of effort, time, and emotion into this fraternity because I have always wanted people to learn the kind gestures I do and to spread this kindness to their peers, so that we may all be in a better place.

Sadly my plan has not gone accordingly. There are ''brothers'' who have graduated and although they shared many fond memories with me, they have completely disconnected from me and the fraternity. There are also other older brothers who were with me when I started, who helped start this fraternity up, who I truly believe didn't care nearly as much as I did about the people and the organization. These older brothers are now in a position of power and unfortunately the fraternity is at an all time low. People do not attend events and the bonds are very low. I am trying to fix this by pointing out all the mistakes people are making and the lack of management from above, after all these older brothers would appreciate good advice right? Wrong. I have tried about everything and no matter how much logic and sense I am presenting they first put my idea down and then mention something completely unrelated but super positive to get these young guys to jump on their wagon. I am extremely frustrated because this is something that means a lot to me and it seems as if its only purpose now is to make me look like a bad guy and push away the few real people I have left.

I just want to know what I should do from now on. Should I stop caring and move on with my life? Forget all that I have done for these people and swallow the pill of accepting that there is no good in this world?

Please I know this is a lot to take into perspective and I thank you ahead of time just keep in mind that this is very sensitive to me.
 

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I would say that if your suggestions, being a senior member of the fraternity, have gone unnoticed time after time then it may be time to let them have it their way. You can only do so much.

Sometimes people get the hive mentality and no matter how good the advice, even from a mentor and a seasoned veteran who knows what works and doesn't work, they just won't listen. Maybe the Alpha male of the group is too intimidating that the men who do feel you have great ideas are afraid to speak up for fear of being ridiculed. There may be a bit of schadenfreude if you do decide to leave and if/when they let the fraternity fail. But that's a negative consequence and honestly, I couldn't see you laughing at their misfortune since it's so important to you.

I do hope it turns around and that your voice is heard, but if not, there has to be something else out there that will help build you up instead of break you down.
 

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Unfortunately, if your brothers don't want to listen to you then I don't think anything you say can change that. It sounds like they're moving on and don't care to put in the time and effort needed to revive your fraternity. If they truly cared, they would do something.

I'm sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I know what it's like to put effort into a relationship and get nothing back. It hurts. I wish I knew why people stopped caring.
 

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If you want to stay ride it out, enjoy any benefits left being part of the fraternity. If things fail just remember it's not your fault. You don't have to move on completely but definitely keep your options open. I don't know if you can start a new one with frat brothers who are still supportive. There are many organizations that have started with great intentions but ended up ****ty because of new management and not so wonderful changes, so unfortunately you have to think of those days as the glory days.
 
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