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Hi everyone,

I am so pleased that I have found this website :)

I'm Rainbow, and I live in Liverpool UK. I'm a mummy to two wonderful daughters, aged 4 and almost 7. My eldest child has many health problems, including a heart condition and a spinal condition. She attends a mainstream school and is very clever!
My youngest daughter is 4, she's very bright as well but she's very very shy! She's the reason that I've found this site.

Ok, a little bit of background. I suffered severe pre and post natal depression while pregnant with her. It must have been terrible for her, and I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of, which I'll be happy to talk about once I know you all :)
Anyway, she was 14 months old before I got the help that I needed.

She's always been a quiet child, always been fairly clingy to me, even when I was ill. But because of my issues, she never learnt how to interact with others, and how to deal with emotions. All this is learnt from the mother in the first year of life.

So, this has lead to her been a very quiet, very shy child. She attends a private nursery because I've recently gone back to work, I didn't feel that spending 24/7 with me was a good idea, that she should socialise with others. She's been at the nursery now for 4 months, and she's doing better than we expected.

However, she tends to lash out if people invade her personal space without being invited. She doesn't really talk to others, she panics if strangers speak to her. She has made one friend at nursery, and tends to stick with her. She seems to find one person to be her security and stick to them, and panics when they aren't there.
She shys away from emotions, and even with me and her dad, doesn't seem comfortable with crying, lots of laughing etc.

Sorry it's such a long post, but I want to help her, and we seem to be getting nowhere through the doctor who told me it was a phase and she'd grow out of it, or that she was doing it for attention. But I've seen her panic when we're out shopping and someone smiles or speaks to her.

Any words of advice would be really helpful :)
 

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Nowhere Man
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*waves back*

Welcome to SAS. I'm glad to see that you have two wonderful daughters to keep you happy. I hope you find the help that you need on this board. :)
 

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Welcome, RainbowMummy! :)
 

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Welcome! I commend you on taking the plunge and joining this site to help your daughter!

Try not to be so hard on yourself, you did the best that you could. I have a 3 year old son and had some baby blues after he was born. I know it pales in comparison to what you had, but I can relate to the feelings of being depressed and not being in control.

I can relate to your daughter when you say that "She seems to find one person to be her security and stick to them, and panics when they aren't there."

Have you had playdates in your home? Perhaps they can start out with that one girl that she's friends with and then in time add another child to the playdate.

Something else to consider is she could have an inheritantly very reserved personality. I belong to another message board on babycenter.com and on the particular board that I belong to there are two other ladies with girls who are extremely shy. Encouraging them to have other social interactions be it swimming classes, Music & Me classes, gymnastic classes etc have helped them out. I believe the fact that you've enrolled her in daycare will help her greatly!

Thanks for joining!
 

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Hey rainbowmummy welcome. :)
 
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