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im 22 years old . i never experienced severe anxiety up until about 2 years ago. i was attending college and everything was going smoothly in my life until one day in class i had a panic attack when the professor called on my to answer a question . it was terrible, i literally felt like i was going to die. i couldnt breath,speak or even stand up.

every since that day i havent been the same. ever since then i CONSTANTLY had a fear of having another one and putting myself in that embarassing situation again. since then i have avoided any and all situations where there could be a chance of me getting the slightest bit nervouse or anxious.

it has pretty much taken over and ruined my life . i feel like i cant do everyday normal tasks anymore. even going out to the grocery store and small things like that get me nervous. i feel like i cant talk to people anymore and have a conversation. im constantly critqueing everything i say and do in fear of sounding stupid or making a fool out of myself.

my mind constantly races with thoughts nonstop. it drives me INSANE. to top it all off when i dropped out of college due to the anxiety and fear of going back i lost my health insurance. so i cant goto the doctor or get on any kind of medicine without putting myself in mass debt.

before my insurance expired i did see a psychologist twice. he put me lexapro i believe it was. but after a few months i noticed no difference , and actually think it made everything worse. so i dropped that.

since then ive just been avoiding all situations and pretty much being a hermit i guess u could say. i dont have problems being around and talking to close friends. but when it comes to meeting new people i just simply cant do it. it seems impossible. my girlfriend whom ive been dating for almost a year now, she has a 2 yr old son whom ive never even met . and have never met her parents also. it drives her crazy, she just doesnt understand.

also my mom is bipolar i figured id mention. does anyone relate to the way i feel, and if so how do you cope with/cure the problem. im desperate. i feel like im losing my mind. i just want to feel "normal" again. thanks!
 

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Hey willyb021 welcome. :)
 

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Welcome, WillyB021! :)
 

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I can totally relate.

I'm just the same, I've been dealing with this since I was like 14 or 15. I've sorta let my SA ruin my life, well not let but it has. I barely leave my house anymore. Going out in public is horrifying, I try to avoid it at all times. Even going through a drive thru scares me because I'm afraid I'll mess up or something and completely embarrass myself. I also am bipolar, I was diagnosed about 2 months ago. They put me on Paxil which does not help me at all with my SA or being bipolar. I feel like I have no control of my life any more. When people are over I lock myself in my room, even if I know the people. I don't think my family or my husband understand me at all. They all try to relate, but none of them have any of this. It's driving me crazy to where I break down and cry alot. I feel so uncomfortable in front of my own parents, it's just ridiculous. I'm glad I found this site though so I see other people that can relate. Anyways, welcome to the site!
 
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