Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,
I ve looked at theses sites on and off for a while as I have had bouts of SA for years now. Life seems fine in between and after a while I forget what its like, and hold down jobs such as home carer,dog walker- working on my own, and have even managed bar jobs as my SA seems to be specifically related to working with other people, or doing courses with strangers. I begin to believe that my SA may have magically disappeared, mood has been good and confident for a few months so decide to try a new course, job etc. Every september for the past few years I have tried this, only to realize that it is lurking round the corner and comes crashing back down upon me!! bad cycle of losing job,house,life in general begins again... bloody hell its frustrating!!!! have tried meds, cbt , hypnotherapy, counselling so its not like i have nt tried or think its not a problem. But after trying theses and things never seeming to change, well its extremely disheartening. Has annyone else experienced this??
I am feeling badly in need of a vent as today was the second day of a new and good job, for which I left my other 2 jobs of 5 months. I have been practically incapable of making any sort of conversation with colleagues and felt more and more uncomfortable, had a training day today where they went round the table to ask questions....ultimate nightmare, fear comes rushing back, unable to answer heart beating through my chest ets im sure you may be familiar, and a giant urge to run out screaming...!!!! felt like a complete idiot, incapable and incompetent.
even tried new tactic of speaking to manager alone to explain, and somehow made it through rest of day. However, I feel i just cannot go back tomorrow, which again will leave me jobless , embarassed and back at the beginning.
Sorry this is a very long first post but if you have managed it thanks ever so much for listening....
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
38,431 Posts
:wel
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
177,223 Posts
Hey Lainey, welcome to :sas
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Hi lainey, i just joined this site today and like you i can relate to having the pounding heartbeat when you are in a meeting or being the center of attention. I've been working at the same place for 17 years and still get this problem! The reason i have worked here for so long is not because it's such a great job or it pay's well ( it doesn't), it because of my anxiety of trying different things based out of fear. Just the idea of going on job interviews gives me anxiety as i get the sweaty hands which is pretty embarrasing.
Now here's the irony; i have been writing music for about 15 years (keybaord based electronic music) and have gotten to the point where i feel i have made some good songs but know deep down i could never do anything professionaly with them because of my anxiety. Well about 3 years ago we had a talent contest here at my work and i decided to play a song in front of all the employee's (about 70 people). I had a lot of anticipatory anxiety about doing this but i had to give it a shot a least one time since music is what really like to do. I did the performance and was nervous but got through it ok. Afterwards I was really proud of myself and this gave me a temporary boost in confidence and i though "hey maybe i can do this", but there have been many ocassions since when my panic attacks come back and remind me of the reality. I might get depression for a few days afterwards and then feel fine and go back to normal until the next stessful event that triggers a panic attack. So one of the worst things for me is knowing i am limited in what i can do because of my problem. No matter how talented i can become at something i know i won't be to be succesful at it because of the anxiety getting in the way. Sorry for the long rant. Take care.

Shawn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Hello again lainey, i was wondering if you could tell a little bit more about the therapies you tried and why you think they didn't work.

Thanks,
Shawn
 

·
Comfortably Numb
Joined
·
232 Posts
Hi Lainey,welcome to :sas
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,235 Posts
Welcome, Lainey! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
Hello Lainey i got the message you sent me and i replied but my message doesn't show in the "sent items" box so i'm not sure you got it. I sent a second message and it still doesn't show as being sent; i don't know why it's not working. Just letting you know in case it never made it to you.

Take care,
Shawn
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
98 Posts
Hi:wels
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top