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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I got laidoff back in April and just had an offer given to me. 70% of the time I get so scared of new people and new environment that I wimp out and not show up. My anxiety level is so high I wish I can just walk in and be calm. I do not know how to cope. New people scare me the most. :( I need some advice.
 

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I am also starting a job soon and nervous like you. What are your ways you cope with anxiety? I used to just grit my teeth and brace for anxiety just to get through it. I changed some and I kind of let go of expectations and let go of the desire to be in control of situations.

When I get anxious, I do a little bit of a breathing exercise and a mental exercise called tonglen. It's a practice that helps me view people as very similar to me. I take 5-10 breaths and the anxiety dissipates a little bit. Tonglen seems to help build compassion and kindness towards people while simultaneously allowing me to be kind to myself. The negative self-talk won't make sense anymore. Anyway, when I see people as similar to me, it's like I am not afraid of them.

Sure, we will encounter people that are mean or angry towards us, or cold, or judgmental. If we can recognize that those dispositions seem to come from a place of sadness, we can relate to it and we won't take those negative reactions personally. Here's some links:

http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonglen

http://www.naljorprisondharmaservice.org/pdf/Tonglen.htm
 

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Noona
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You have to think of the positives of starting a new job. Rather than looking at what your afraid of, focus on what you have to smile about. Let's face it, the recession has really affected lots of people and I know you're grateful to have a new job in the first place. Then, look at the fact that you now have an opportunity to learn new things and meet new friends. If you can put your nervousness aside, I have no doubt that you'll make new friends amongst your co-workers. I had a job at a concert venue where I interacted with hundreds of strangers per night. I loved it actually, and the job was a blast. Stay positive and keep your head up. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
job anxiety

Alot of what both of you said made alot of sense. Sadly though I feel good for a few minutes then realize I will be in situations that people will judge me or not like me. I am so scared of being judged it literally makes me stay inside all day. I am going to try this advice and try harder to work on myself!
 

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Noona
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Alot of what both of you said made alot of sense. Sadly though I feel good for a few minutes then realize I will be in situations that people will judge me or not like me. I am so scared of being judged it literally makes me stay inside all day. I am going to try this advice and try harder to work on myself!
Good luck to you.
 
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