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I just discovered this site, and I am happy that I did. I have had (SAD) all of my life. As a child I was always very quiet and shy. Never dated much in high school. When I started college I met a wonderful person and we married, we have been married for 38 years now. We have three grown children. During my marriage I have always stayed away from social situations. Those Christmas parties were the worst for me. Especially if I didn't know anybody there. I always felt alone. I had nothing to say to anybody. I used to watch everybody else having a good time, I couldn't figure out how they had so much to talk about to people that they didn't even know. I felt sad and left out. I was always standing alone, and felt like everybody must be staring at me.

When I did finally get enough courage to talk to somebody, it was like after hello and introducing myself, I had nothing left to say. I felt uncomfortable. So needless to say if some event came up I always made excuses to not go with my husband to them. Working, taking care of my children and my husband became my life. Then after my children grew up, I felt terribly alone, they were my "friends". We went shopping, to the movies, stuff like that.

Once when I went to a convention, the person announced that they were going to bring up some of the people that had participated in a medical proceedure - I literally felt nausious, I got hot and heard ringing in my ears (like I was going to faint), my heart was racing, all because I thought that they were going to call on me (which they didn't).

I feel so sad and lonely sometimes that I cry for no reason. Even when I am in a room with lots of people I feel very alone.

I am tired of feeling like this and want to change. So I am here to learn and feel comforted in knowing that I am not alone with this disease.
 

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Hey SadCali :wel
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, SadCali! :)
 
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