Hi guys. I've just registered but i lurked quite a bit on this forum 
. I have severe SA, and i hate it. I've got pretty much every simptoms and done a lot of things users name here. Even user name i picked, is far different than one i use normally on the net, just in case so none of my friends recognise me here.
I registered just to vent here a bit, because no one understands me. Few days ago i had to make a speech in my college class, and whole day i felt miserable, and almost puked. I couldn't take it anymore and confessed everything to my mum. It was a fatal mistake. I feel even worse now. And she is a hardcore religious person, and is praying and crying now. And she told me i'm lazy. This isn't a suicide post, but i just have such a strong desire for death right now. I'm a burden to myself, and keep inflicting pain to everyone around me. But i'm not going too kill myself, i'm too big coward to do that.
I am constantly tired, and don't have energy for anything. Not for learning, socialising, having fun... can't even concentrate on watching movies. Even now i hardly pick words to wride this post, as english is not my native language, and even with my native tongue i struggle to put together coeherent sentences.
Yesterday i passed by the local gym, and even that was too much for me. When i saw all the cars and bikes parked i got instant panic attack. God, if i entered there i would probably fainted. Few weeks ago my favorite band was in my country for the first time, and i couldn't make enough courage to go to the show...
That's it for now,i don't feel like writing anymore, and this post is already too long. Cheers everyone
. I have severe SA, and i hate it. I've got pretty much every simptoms and done a lot of things users name here. Even user name i picked, is far different than one i use normally on the net, just in case so none of my friends recognise me here.I registered just to vent here a bit, because no one understands me. Few days ago i had to make a speech in my college class, and whole day i felt miserable, and almost puked. I couldn't take it anymore and confessed everything to my mum. It was a fatal mistake. I feel even worse now. And she is a hardcore religious person, and is praying and crying now. And she told me i'm lazy. This isn't a suicide post, but i just have such a strong desire for death right now. I'm a burden to myself, and keep inflicting pain to everyone around me. But i'm not going too kill myself, i'm too big coward to do that.
I am constantly tired, and don't have energy for anything. Not for learning, socialising, having fun... can't even concentrate on watching movies. Even now i hardly pick words to wride this post, as english is not my native language, and even with my native tongue i struggle to put together coeherent sentences.
Yesterday i passed by the local gym, and even that was too much for me. When i saw all the cars and bikes parked i got instant panic attack. God, if i entered there i would probably fainted. Few weeks ago my favorite band was in my country for the first time, and i couldn't make enough courage to go to the show...
That's it for now,i don't feel like writing anymore, and this post is already too long. Cheers everyone
