Welcome to the site!! You can find plenty of help here whether it be advice on medication, meeting people you can relate to, or even just simply venting... I think you'll like it here. Let us help you start that change
I've never joined a forum before. I'm afraid I'm arrogant to the point of narcissism, so I rarely take any one else's opinion seriously. That sounds terrible. I know it. I think I'd like to change that, but I don't know how. I don't have friends. My sisters mostly, but we don't see each other much because we don't really have similar interests. Drugs help me feel less 'monstrous'. I'm happiest listening to music - heavy metal when I'm angry, and when I'm programming. Don't do that much anymore because the drugs have sort of warped my memory. Well, that's the most I've written in a long time so I guess I'll go away now. If you're not totally turned of by me, feel free to say what you think. I'll try to listen.