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I'm new here, and I'm not sure this is the right board, but here goes. I read some posts and the community seems helpful and kind, so that's great! :)

Anyway, my problem is as follows. I've had a girlfriend for 4 years now. Everything was amazing in the beginning. However, at a certain point I had to go on anti-depressents and that caused me to frequently lose my erections when having sex.

I guess in media and everywhere, a man who can not get erections (with a woman) is often deemed either homosexual or "less of a man". I somehow warped my mind into thinking that she thought I was gay (nothing wrong with that, but I don't want my girlfriend thinking that of me, you know?). So whenever she would mention something about a guy or something random about homosexuality, I would tense up. This tensing up would cause a spike in my heart rate, causing my face to change and it would "move my penis". She has felt this if we were laying in the spooning position or something.

I have gotten off the meds, and our sex life is back to normal. However, this tensing up has gotten progressivly worse. It's becoming impossible to cuddle with her because I'm afraid of this sudden spike in my heart beat from certain key words. I have to lay down next to her in a certain position so she doesn't feel it.

So any advice? To a "healthy" person this may seem like a silly situation, but I guess for someone with anxiety, the smallest things like this can be earth shattering and painful. I know the best advice would be to talk to her about it, but again, anxiety is forbidding me to do that at this certain point, but I will do that if all else fails. If anyone has dealt with a similar problem, I'd be more that thankful to listen. :)
 

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I'm not sure I even understand it. I haven't had an active sex life in three years and even then, it wasn't very active and I'm pretty sure I wasn't really all that sexually interesting.
 
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