new here and at the end of my rope

cicada said:

It's great that you have improved so much. I know that Zoloft has been an important part of your therapy, but what kind of non-drug therapy have you been doing? How long do you expect to have to take Zoloft? I am hesitant to take anti-anxiety drugs. I guess I am afraid I'll rely on the drug too much and won't actually change my thinking or behavior. Has this been a concern for you? Just trying to figure out if I should end up using anti-anxiety drugs or not.

Click to expand...

I was diagnosed with dysthymia (a mild form of depression) that had developed into major depression and SA. My doctor told me that because I have had these problems since I was a child that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes me to think differently than "normal" people. ( Have you seen the Zoloft commercials that show a black and white drawing of nerve endings and the little circles popping back and forth between them?) Because of this I will need to take Zoloft for the rest of my life. This is fine with me because I never want to go back to where I was. I have also found out that in 2006 a generic form of Zoloft will be available and that's great news for my wallet.

To answer one of you questions, I see a therapist every 3 or 4 weeks. She has a checklist of personality problems for me to work on, that she made during her initial evaluation. This way I know what I need to focus on. Taking Zoloft has made this task easier for me. This is my understanding of what Zoloft is, it is not a mind altering drug, so it will not drastically change your personality. It is a re-uptake inhibitor. Which means it simply forces the electrical impulses in you brain to act normally by jumping from nerve to nerve instead of jumping out and back in. Once the electrical impulses start doing what they should,your brain will start to release more serotonin which will elevate your mood. Your elevated mood will allow you to be more approachable and others will respond to you in a more positive manner. As for thinking that you might rely on the drug too much; that would be something that you want to discuss with your therapist. He/she should be able to give you some tools to help you learn how to change your behavior. My therapist recommended a book to read and I learned a great deal from it. I think it is a must read for everyone on this site. It is called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers PhD. The most important thing I learned from this book is that everyone feels the same fears I do. The same fear that paralyzes me will motivate them. The book teaches you how figure out which fears are groundless and how to overcome them. Hope I helped! :thanks

feelingbetter, your story is similar to mine. My doctor told me very much the same thing he told you. I was skeptical. And the first time I tried Zoloft, I didn't stick with it (because of the side effects). But later I went back on it at a lower dose. It seemed to help my depression but did nothing for my SA. But I stuck with it, and after about 6 months I began to notice a difference. I began to realize that certain social situations no longer caused me great anxiety. I was still myself, quiet and introverted, but I no longer had the fear that would cause me to be unable to function normally.

Just like you, I've had this condition all my life. And certain behaviors had become entrenched in my personality. I had learned to avoid things that I thought would be anxiety provoking (learned behavior).

I'm doing much better now. I've been able to go to social events such as weddings, and for the first time, enjoy it. I've met a wonderful girl whom I am in love with - something I thought I would never experience. Even though I'm 49 years old, I feel younger than I've felt in years. So even if I don't make any more improvements, I am more than satisfied with what Zoloft has done for me.

Before this starts sounding like a drug commercial, I will add that a lot of credit also goes to my friends (online and offline), who have put up with my self pitying rants and encouraged me along the way. Thank you (SAS members) for your support.