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new here and at the end of my rope

2782 Views 25 Replies 19 Participants Last post by  sprinter
I am a new member and I am very glad to have found this place. A short version of why: I am 47 and have dealt with severe sa and have been diagnosed with Avoidant personality disorder. I have NO friends and can count on one hand the number of friends that I have had over the years. Currently there is no-one that I socialize with. I have been divorced for 3 years from a very socially adept man who I loved who left me for a woman who is more in tune with his personality. I was devastated and it was the final blow to my self esteem. I long for social contact with others and at the same time avoid it like the plague. I am getting so tired of the battle. I work with 3 very social and strong women in a small office and they hang out together after work but I am never invited. Ayway I wont go on and on. I am glad I found this place. I hope to at least aleave a littel of the isolation I feel here. Dreams and shadows
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Hello dreamsnshadows...and everyone else here. My experiences are so much like yours. Like you I have no friends right now and I find my self obsessing over that fact. I look around me and it seems like friendships come so easily to some people. I started a new job 9 months ago and though everyone there is very nice I haven't made any friends (the office is 95% women). There have been others that started working in the office after I did and within a few weeks they were pal-ing around with someone. It's so painful to be around it. Most of the time I just wish I were able to find a job that I didn't have to face others every day. I even got up my nerve one day and asked a co-worker if she wanted to go to the fair that was in town (she had mentioned that she wanted to see the crafts that were on exhibit). She said yes at first...then she said she wasn't sure, she had to check her schedule...and I never heard back from her. I was too humiliated to bring it up again. I know it sounds like a little thing, but it wasn't easy for me to ask. I've already begun to stress out about the work Christmas party that's coming up in December. I've already got a dozen excuses lined up to give for why I wasn't able to attend. Is that pathetic or what?

I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage dreamsnshadows. I can only imagine how painful that was. The one thing that has kept me from going off the deep end is my husband. I've been married for 29 years. He understands the way that I am, and the fact that he's not a very social person himself probably helps. We live virtually like hermits. He does have several good friends that he pals around with on his own but for the most part it's just him and I. But I would love to have a girlfriend. I keep hoping.

Sorry this turned into such a long post...I didn't mean for it to. But I did want to let you know that your not alone...there are others out there like you who understand and care about what your going through.
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