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new here and at the end of my rope

2766 Views 25 Replies 19 Participants Last post by  sprinter
I am a new member and I am very glad to have found this place. A short version of why: I am 47 and have dealt with severe sa and have been diagnosed with Avoidant personality disorder. I have NO friends and can count on one hand the number of friends that I have had over the years. Currently there is no-one that I socialize with. I have been divorced for 3 years from a very socially adept man who I loved who left me for a woman who is more in tune with his personality. I was devastated and it was the final blow to my self esteem. I long for social contact with others and at the same time avoid it like the plague. I am getting so tired of the battle. I work with 3 very social and strong women in a small office and they hang out together after work but I am never invited. Ayway I wont go on and on. I am glad I found this place. I hope to at least aleave a littel of the isolation I feel here. Dreams and shadows
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Hi Dreamshadows. I like your username. :)

I'm fairly new to these boards too, this forum seems nice that we are a bit older, some of the other users seem so young! LOL. ;)

SA is really hard to describe to anyone who hasn't experienced it directly. I don't think they can really understand. The emotions that come up and incapacitate us and feel so intense, in situations that other people just are able to deal with every day.

I'm attempting to be more social in my life and it's really really scary. Just the last two years. I'm trying to make friends and it's weird, but I think it's going okay. But each day I think they will find out something about me they can't stand, and they'll go away. I guess we'll see. :) The healthy attitude is that I shouldn't care, that they'll like me for who I am no matter what. But.. that's not an attitude that has been prevelent in my life.
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