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new here and at the end of my rope

2766 Views 25 Replies 19 Participants Last post by  sprinter
I am a new member and I am very glad to have found this place. A short version of why: I am 47 and have dealt with severe sa and have been diagnosed with Avoidant personality disorder. I have NO friends and can count on one hand the number of friends that I have had over the years. Currently there is no-one that I socialize with. I have been divorced for 3 years from a very socially adept man who I loved who left me for a woman who is more in tune with his personality. I was devastated and it was the final blow to my self esteem. I long for social contact with others and at the same time avoid it like the plague. I am getting so tired of the battle. I work with 3 very social and strong women in a small office and they hang out together after work but I am never invited. Ayway I wont go on and on. I am glad I found this place. I hope to at least aleave a littel of the isolation I feel here. Dreams and shadows
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Hi Dreamsnshadows. I'm 56 and have been divorced 3 years now as well. I always had friends until about 5 or 6 years ago. Then I got really bad with this disorder, couldn't use the phone, so couldn't answer when they'd call, couldn't return their calls, couldn't accept invitations any longer (but even before it got that bad, I would quickly come up with 'reasons' I couldn't do this or that with them - or I'd force myself to accept and try to come up with reasons to cancel). After my H and I separated in '99 is when it became the worse. I stopped going anywhere I didn't have to.

But, noone ever understood what it was like for me either. Certainly not family. For a long while, I stopped telling people about the SAD. Now, on occasion, if I feel the person is understanding and I feel fairly safe, I will tell them... but I don't risk my emotions any more than I have to. I get so tired of them thinking it's that I'm just being stubborn, rude, selfish, lazy or intentionally anti-social.

Do you have a counselor, Dreamsnshadows? Someone that specializes in this disorder, or general anxiety disorders, might be very helpful for you.
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