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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I joined the forum a few weeks ago, and then went through a 'good patch' where there wasn't much going on to bother me. I'm taking my driver's test next week (I'll be twenty next month. I've had the permit for a year.) and the prospect of being in a car with a stranger and having to drive well enough to pass is sending me into an anxiety filled tailspin. I really have no choice, though, as I live out in the country with no public transpo and asking for a ride is harder for me to do than driving myself. No matter how many times someone tells me it's fine, I can't help but think they're just being nice. And then guilt sets in, and I start avoiding at all costs.

I've had a lot to work through in regards to my social anxiety, and most of it has been on my own. The few times I made it in to see a therapist I left shortly after in tears. Just the thought of speaking to someone I don't know well (and to some people I do know well) makes me cry. I'm past the days of not being able to park in front of store windows without crying and not being able to pay for my own things, but I still have a long way to go. I'm hoping that by posting on this forum, I can gain some understanding about the problem. If nothing else, it's good to know I'm not alone.

:D
 

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Hi caesarea. Good to see another Tennessean here. :) I know you're nervous about your driving test. I was too, I took mine at 17. It may seem daunting right now, but I think once you're actually in the car and out on the road, it won't be anywhere as bad as you may believe. Even if you do fail (which I don't think you will), you can easily take the test again, right? It's just a matter of persistence and courage. And you seem like a courageous woman, considering the fact that you've battled SA on your own and have been able to make it past some huge obstacles. That takes a kind of inner strength and will many don't possess. I know it's difficult living like this, but with the help and info you'll find on this forum, plus your own determination, I think you can totally overcome SA. Welcome to the site.
 

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Hey caesarea welcome. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks guys. :D

And shadowmask, I wish I felt courageous. :)
 

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Hi Caesarea and welcome to SAS! :)

I certainly know how you feel about the road test. A few years ago I was determined to get my license because I too live in the country and went and did the written of which I passed on the first try and then when it came time for the road test I canceled and never rescheduled. I'm terrified about being in the car with a stranger even if it's a worker for the DMV. I have all these weird thoughts about what might happen. I hope you have better luck though and go through with it. I'm 25 and I still don't have a license. I do know how to drive though. Although, I still can't parallel park. :b It's just my fear of the road test that is stopping me.

As for therapy, I feel the same way. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a stranger about my feelings. Let alone a stranger I have to pay just to listen to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks! :)

I feel like using the internet is my 'therapy'. I keep a journal (livejournal) and have two friends on there I met online years ago, and they keep me grounded. I tell them everything. What I'm feeling, things that've happened to me that I haven't told anyone, my SI issues that I'm still trying to control. It's so easy for me to just drop into a forum and spill my guts. It's just face to face that makes me go Oo.

Do you still live in the country? How do you get around? I hope, hope, hope I can stay calm for my test. I'm trying to plan questions to ask and things to tell the instructor that'll help make it easier.
 

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A lot of people say to write how you feel to let your feelings out. I've tried doing that and it never seemed to help. I suppose I have too many years of pent up sadness for it to work. And I'm not really all that good at writing my feelings down. I've tried, but I can never seem to say what I truly need to. I do have an online boyfriend (I hate that term so much!) that I do talk to and seems to bring me to a good place when I need him to. He's understanding and that's something I really need in my life so at least I now have a little bit of an outlet like you do with your livejournal.

Yes, I live in the US. My parents drive me everywhere. I don't really go out much anyway so it's really not much of a problem at the moment. Maybe you could tell them that you're a little nervous about driving with them. I'm sure they've heard it before since it's not always easy with people who don't even have SA. It's just a matter of passing or not.

I wish I could talk myself into going through with this, but I would need a vehicle to use and I would need to learn how to parallel park first. Maybe others could give you some advice on this situation? I can't exactly borrow from experience. But let us know if you do go through with it and how it went. :)
 

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:wel
 

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Welcome, Caesarea! :)
 
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