Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Hi. I kind of like the idea of anonymity here. A perfect way to avoid actually talking to someone about this verbally. People just don't seem to understand me. And so I've actually given up talking to others and so now ive possibly lost the ability to word my thoughts, and it sort of reversed on the ability to really make thoughts as well because Im what i think they call a more auditory learner.
I lived with my sister for a year last year until this september and avoided her for as much as I could for the duration of it. My own sister I'm nervous talking to. I havn't always been this bad but now I am. Just looking for something here... I don't know what as of now. But maybe the more new people I talk to the more I can beleive that I'm able to do it more in real life.

I went to a music festival last night which was Really hard for me considering the fear i have with interacting with people. I don't have any friends so going to really social places for me is really embarrassing... I still made myself go though because there were bands I wanted to hear and it could have been a chance to meet people if I toughed through it. So... I saw one person i knew... awkwarded that conversation to the max. It got to the point that they were staring off noticably to me and did the face. If only i could have recovered that somehow god im so weird.
Then I ran into someone else that I know from my hometown. He was by himself too and is a nice guy so he said that we could hang out. I was so glad about that. From that point on whenever we ran into groups of people that he knew we would talk for a few minutes and then they'd keep going on their way. I think that he'd intended it meet up with those people and hang out with them the whole night. I reallly have no idea how to hang out in groups of people. How am I 22 years old and don't get group dynamics? Im used to just hanging out with one person at a time. usually a guy. Im used to being like.. courted.. but now that i have this crazy lost thing about me, which i feel is massively more obvious to others now that im older people really try and shake me.
Eventually when he and I grabbed a few drinks at this random bar after the bands were finished we were sitting at the bar talking to this muscular, body builder, steriod use, really slow or really drunk guy named " Duncan" and after i said something he just leaned in and called me a loser.
Why can't I be functional and fun. I'm slow, and im getting slower. Im ashamed of this too and so i retreat from people only making the practice less possible. My family is sick of me. And my attitude to get better sucks.

Help advice anyone? How to live haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Thanks for your kindness. Seriously. I'm so tired of being this way... I don't know how to change. How to get my head together. I want to just BE and FUNCTION. Anxiety!!!!! is ruining my life.
Okay. Your positive voice and hopefully that of others i meet here can help. Thanks a trillion.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
12 Posts
Hi Holymountian. I also get really nervous talking to or calling my sisters and most of my family, with the exception of my mom. I would avoid it for years if I thought nobody would notice or be mad at me. I really thought I was the only one to experience this!

I think you are brave for going out alone. A coffee shop or a walk and sometimes a matinee is the best I can do alone. I also have no friends lately, so I miss out on a lot... shows, art, festivals, all things summer.

Anyway, I could go on- I really related to most of what you're going through. I'm 25 and also feel more comfortable if I'm being "courted" by a guy. I feel slow so often and have a hard time finding words and forming sentences when I'm even a bit anxious. And most people I've talked to about this (besides therapists) don't seem to know or even want to know what SAD is (maybe it doesn't seem like a real disorder to them?).

I wish I knew how to function better too. So far, talk therapy has helped some, I think. I know someone who was helped tremendously by taking meds (I don't know what), but I haven't gathered the courage to ask my therapist about it yet. Meditation and breathing properly seems to help too. Good luck!!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
177,223 Posts
Hey holymountain welcome. :hyper
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,233 Posts
Welcome, HolyMountain! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
157 Posts
Hello, and welcome to the community! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

As far as any advice to offer, I can definitely say that after much searching, I've never found the instruction manual to life. It's been difficult for me to learn myself, but the best advice I've ever been given is just to be myself. If people don't like it, so be it. I'm me. Take it or leave it. You seem like a great person. From my experience, most often, insults from others come about from their own insecurities. The guy you mentioned sounds like someone who is extremely caught up in his appearance. As cliche as it sounds, what's he compensating for? Is he so insecure about his looks that he has to try that hard to improve them or belittle others? Maybe I'm completely misguided, but I still sleep alright at night.

As an aside, who was playing at the music festival? I have a hard time socializing in groups myself, and I prefer one-on-one interaction or smaller groups (4 people, max). I'd love to go to a music festival myself, and there have been several around here I've wanted to go to, but crowds drive me nuts. I commend you for working through it. I hope you enjoy the high level of support you'll receive here.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top