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Hmm.
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I've asked girls who are acquantances to hang out, don't see that as a big deal. But not like a random girl I see in a coffee shop or anything. I have asked for a girls number before a few times, lol usually doesn't go anywhere though.

How many times have I told a girl I liked her after getting to know her, through friends or at school/work, several times. How many times has a girl responded with the same feelings: zero.

Did have one gf though, for like two weeks, that was a random situation, never expected it.

I don't plan to ever tell a girl straight to her face that I like her anymore though. I figure if I try to get to know her and see if she feels the same way, something will happen if it wasn't meant to (after spending time with her of course).
 

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Never.

I fear rejection of my approach (even though that is not rejection of me since the girl doesn't know me well enough to reject me).
 

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Asked a girl out in person? 2 times.

Otherwise? About 7 or 8.

all of these except 1 were in the past year (24 yrs old)
 

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banana enthusiast
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Never. I haven't even been able to start a casual conversation with a girl (a conversation without any romantic intentions). I remember several times trying to psyche myself up to start a friendly chat with a girl, but the anxiety stopped me every time.
 

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Xande - are you talking about hanging out with female acquantances as in just something to do or with the clear intent of starting something?
Both. Lol my intention may be to start something, but usually we end up not spending much time together.

Don't have that many female acquaintances anymore though.

Used to ask female acquaintances more often to hang out of where I know them (work,school, etc), but that was when I was more confident, before several more rejections.
 

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Never. Not only would the severe anxiety take over when I would be about to open my mouth but then during the date I know the awkwardness that would take over and would end up making me mute and causing me panic attacks which happens regularly during silent periods, plus the girl doesn't help when she starts blaming me for her feelings of insecurity.
 

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Geese
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Asked a girl on dates and then to officially go out to which all were accepted, however my anxiety then destroyed me. Since then I have not approached anyone but have been approached but I still don't think I have the self confidence to actively ask someone out, rejection is still a major fear :(
 

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About 20-30 times.

Rejection rate: 60%

Reasons: Too busy, hanging out with other people, "Wtf r u serious?", got homework to do, ..... , only if i can invite my bf...
 

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The problem for many people with sa is not simply because she'll say "no".

It might have a lot to do with exposing the fact we have emotional needs. The shame of revealing emotional needs (need for love and affection) can cause those people to experience intense self consciousness and feelings of embarrassment just attempting to show someone they are interested in them and even approaching someone who has given them an invitation to come over. It might also have a lot to do with the fact that many guys with sa have little idea in how to open a conversation with a woman they'd like to date. What exactly do they say? How do they behave? How do they steer the conversation towards the asking out? These things allude many sa guys and so they have no confidence and so don't want to risk making themselves awkward and end up embarrassing themselves in front of the woman. A lot of fears might also come from the fact that the woman might actually say "yes", and then what does the guy do??? He doesn't know exactly. Maybe he'll have nothing to say on the date and so appear boring to her, maybe he'll get nervous and awkward and she'll get uncomfortable etc. Maybe the guy is afraid of revealing his lack of experience with women and feels embarrassed about it. A lot of fears might also come from the fact that a relationship tends to demand one become more sociable, ie; meeting parents, meeting friends, going to events like birthday parties etc. Many of these things terrify sa guys and they might feel ashamed in revealing they are afraid of socializing. Relationships also demand intimacy and revealing things about themselves and many sa guys fear self disclosure and emotional vulnerbility. Another often overlooked reason is simply because of the anxiety reaction itself. The fear of rejection can provoke excruciatingly painful anxiety feelings. But it isn't the rejection that is feared, it is the ensuring anxiety that results from the rejection or just the thought of it (anticipatory anxiety). The thought of walking over to a woman and saying a simple "hello" can cause a sudden burst of anxiety so painful, many sa guys don't even dare think about thinking of asking a woman out and so end up daydreaming about them instead.
 

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Put me in a social setting; classroom, around coworkers, and people that I know, I'm looking for the nearest exit or in the corner hiding somewhere.

But around girls it's completely different, I have no problems approaching girls, getting numbers etc

I've probably asked out 100's of girls over the last 10 years or so.
 
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